


In Omnia Paratus

by meggles830



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Break Up, Canon Continuation, F/M, Post-Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life, Rogan, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 23:34:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 74,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10398669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggles830/pseuds/meggles830
Summary: After the Final Four Words... well, a little before, and a lot after, how does Rory come to find out she's pregnant? What is she going to do? What about Logan and Odette?





	1. Caught In the Act

It had been a long morning tying up loose ends with the auction house that was selling most of the furnishings and such from the house- Good Lord, how had she and Richard managed to accumulate so much pointless stuff? She knew at one point all those oil paintings and glass vases had seemed important, but for the life of her she couldn’t remember why. Regardless, she was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to heat up some soup and fall asleep in her home of 46 years for what may just be the very last time before she headed back to Nantucket tomorrow morning.

So when Emily pulled into her driveway to see Rory’s car she was certainly happy to see her lovely granddaughter, but may have groaned ever so slightly to herself that she wasn’t alone. She had been so happy to hear that Rory was going to be writing a book, and that she would like to do so in Richard’s study, on his desk (despite not having any inkling as to what she was writing about- it must be some sort of brilliant take on today’s political climate or perhaps a takedown on arts and culture of the digital age- something snappy and fresh that would become the new must-read like that Malcolm Gladwell or Dave Sedaris). Maybe seeing her granddaughter was actually what she needed right now- soups and naps be damned.

“Rory? Rory, are you here?” She opened the door herself, it certainly was a nice change of pace not to have simpering, simple-minded maids rushing at her for her coat, tripping and falling all over themselves- this house was a bit big to be alone in, but thank god her days of incompetent help around the house were over!)

But Rory did not call back to her, and Emily saw a light coming out of the partially open door to the powder room.

“Rory, what on earth are you- are you ill?” She pushed the door open the rest of the way to see Rory sitting on the floor of the bathroom, in front of the vanity, hunched over herself crying. Her granddaughter was clearly surprised to see her, she jumped as she looked up at her grandmother, eyes bloodshot from the tears, dark circles under her eyes, clutching something- something long and white and…

“Oh Rory!” Emily immediately dropped to the floor and pulled Rory to her in a sideways hug- she didn’t think she had been on the floor of a bathroom since her first trimester with Lorelai- Lorelai had clearly ALWAYS been a difficult child, even from her first few weeks in utero. The thought almost made her smile now, but for the fact that her beautiful, brilliant and (last she heard) single granddaughter was on the floor, sobbing her eyes out over a pregnancy test- a very obviously positive pregnancy test. And as she looked around, there were at least 7 more tests scattered on various surfaces, all with similar messages- “pregnant” or with two lines or even one with the image of an almost-leering baby face- so tasteless.

“What am I going to do Grandma?” She was sobbing, pulling her grandmother closer, needing comfort and Emily couldn’t do anything but rub her back and hold her tighter. As she stroked her beautiful chestnut hair whispering,

“Shhh. Rory, it’s fine, everything is absolutely going to fine- you don’t worry about that right now.”

“But you don’t understand! It’s all such a mess! It was supposed to be goodbye! And now I have to make these decisions and I don’t know what he’s going to say or do… I don’t even know if I should tell him! I don’t know how to tell anyone- how am I going to tell Mom? She’s going to kill me! I mean, I know better! Ever since I was 11 Mom was talking about safe sex and condoms and birth control! That night I stayed out with Dean in high school? She wanted to drag me to the doctor and put me on the pill and we weren’t having sex- not even close! I mean, so much of my life was about never making the stupid decisions that she made, never being in THIS situation! And now I have no money, no place to live, no job… and THIS is the moment the Universe decides to send me a baby???”

“Now, you stop that right now, Rory!” She hadn’t meant to sound harsh but the girl was really starting to work herself into a fit and absolutely no one- not even Rory, could say things like that about Rory. “Now, first things first- we need to find you a doctor so you can go in and have everything checked out and confirmed- I understand there are all kinds of reasons that these things can be false positives and we just want to know what we’re talking about, for sure, before we go much further down this path.” She pushed back some of Rory’s bangs, wondering how long it had been since the girl had a decent haircut- she should speak to Lorelai about that- a woman’s grooming was very important, it shouldn’t be neglected this badly… But she was brought back to attention as Rory tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.

“Come on, let’s get you some tissues and maybe some water, or perhaps you would prefer some tea? I’m sure I have chamomile around here, something nice and soothing and warm.” They stood and Emily put her arm around the girl’s shoulders, guiding her off the floor and out to the kitchen. As she began to heat the kettle and rustled through her cupboards for something without caffeine to brew, her mind was racing.

Rory was pregnant? How did this happen? That girl knew better- as appalled as Emily had been when she found out that Rory had been having sex in the pool house, and then again when she and Logan were living together, she hadn’t been thrilled, but assumed it meant an engagement was forthcoming, and she had to admit that times were changing. But this? This was unreal- she didn’t think Rory was even still dating anyone. Who was the father?

“Grandma, I can pretty much hear you thinking over there.”

“What? No! I’m sure this was a shock to you and you probably need time to process what’s going on.”

“Yeah, pretty big shock. That’s for sure. Fo’ sho…Took the words right out of my mouth, Grandma.” Rory was just nodding her head, eyes kind of vacant, babbling and stirring the tea as Emily poured water in the cup. They sat in pronounced silence for a few moments, the sound of the clock ticking and the occasional stirring of their tea- Rory staring nowhere while Emily tried hard to not stare at Rory. After about 10 minutes, that honestly felt closer to an hour, Emily finally set down her teacup.

“Rory, I know that you’re going through something fairly emotional right now, but I want you to know that you can talk to me. I understand that in the past I may seem like some stuffy old Grandmother, possibly a little judgemental, but you can tell me anything, I promise. I understand that in the past I haven’t always been as accepting and tolerant as your mother, but I love you, and I love everything that you do- and if you are about to have a child? Well, that’s just another little Gilmore for me to love and coddle…”

Emily was not prepared for Rory bursting into tears right then and there, hunched over the marble countertop, sobbing into her hands.

“Grandma, I’m so sorry- I’m sooo sorry. I can’t tell you… I just… I don’t know what to say!”

“Listen to me Rory, I know that you feel like you’re in an impossible situation. I’m going to assume by your reaction that you have questions or concerns about the father…” Rory simply nodded and sniffled a bit at that. “But you have to know that regardless of his place in your life, in your child’s life, if you have this baby, this child is going to grow up happy and healthy and well-cared for- this child is a Gilmore and will grow up like one. So that’s a given, don’t worry about money or a place to live or any of that, that’s easily enough sorted, what we need to do is sit down and talk- what do YOU want to do?”

Rory just pulled her grandmother to her and bawled- because that was really the question, wasn’t it? What did Rory want? Well, unfortunately it seemed like nothing that Rory wanted was possible- she wasn’t the brilliant International Correspondent that she had planned to be- that she had worked so hard to become. She didn’t have a social or a love life to speak of, she didn’t have a home or a paying job or even money to pay for doctor’s visits, baby gear, maternity clothes… And she knew that she wouldn’t be thrown out into the cold, her child wouldn’t be begging for scraps on the streets, but… God, what was she going to do?

“I’m sorry Grandma, I just feel like I’m just such a mess right now- I was already feeling like a giant mess and a failure and now this? I mean, Grandma, I’m 33! I’m pregnant and the father is… well, that’s about as complicated as it gets. How did I let this happen? I’m smart, I’ve always been beyond careful, and then… I’ve ruined everything! This is even worse than the time that I stole a yacht and left Yale- this is so permanent, so final!”

“Well, Rory, we take it one thing at a time, that’s all we can do. Now, do you have any idea… when… do you know approximately how far along you are?”

“Six weeks.” She knew exactly how far along she was, there had only been one possibility.

“Well then, six weeks, that’s still very early days, we have time to think about things, to look at options… I’ll tell you what, I have a friend of mine, her daughter happens to be an Obstetrician, she just moved to town and opened a practice, why don’t I give her a call and we’ll see if I can’t get you into see her today? And while I’m doing that, why don’t you take sometime and go upstairs to your old room and rest? You look absolutely exhausted. Once you’ve napped and we go to the doctor, then maybe we can grab something to eat and we’ll talk or not talk at all… whatever you need.” Rory wanted to argue, but she had to admit that she just felt tired to her bones and that her grandmother was probably right. She was still pretty early, she had some time, but it was all a lot to process, she needed to rest and to think.

_______________________________

The nap helped, and true to her word, Emily got her into a doctor who could confirm the pregnancy without her having to get anyone (like Paris) involved yet. And, now she had a bunch of shiny pamphlets showing her precisely what her options were. They went to dinner, but Rory really couldn’t make herself talk much- and she was pushing her food around on her plate. Her grandmother ordered a glass of wine and Rory had been so tempted to follow suit- but even without being pregnant, it hardly seemed like alcohol was going to help her make good decisions. Mostly she just sat and quietly listened to her grandmother talking about the houses in Nantucket she had looked at, funny stories about the DAR (WHAT had she said to the Membership Committee?) But she was very clearly NOT present.

Emily, in the meantime, was worried. She hadn’t gone into the room with Rory during the exam, thinking the girl needed some space and some privacy- but Emily had squeezed her hand right before she walked away, hoping she conveyed support and love. When Rory came out of the exam room and nodded at her, she looked like she was actually facing a firing squad- it had all been confirmed, and the girl was terrified and confused.

After dinner they went back to Emily’s house. She knew Rory often spent nights there while she was writing and she thought it was probably best if the girl didn’t drive right now. After a thank you for the dinner and her help, Rory went to the stairs, meaning to go up to bed, most likely to cry for a few more hours as she tried to get some sleep. As she took the first two steps Emily stopped her.

“Rory, are you sure you can’t tell me about the father? Maybe it isn’t so bad- it’s possible you’re worrying quite a bit about nothing at all, maybe when you tell him you’ll be shocked at how excited he is!”

“Grandma, I don’t know if I’m going to tell him.” And that was obviously part of her anxiety- her voice shook as she said it and all Emily could hear was despair.

“Rory, I know that right now it seems completely hopeless, I’m sure that when your mother went through this she felt a lot of the things that you are right now, but everything worked out then and everything will now.”

“It’s not the same Grandma! I’m sorry, I know you’re trying to help, and I wish I could tell you, but let me just tell you that this news… I don’t even know how _I_ feel about it- but I’m pretty sure that this will ruin his life- it was a mistake and I’m pretty sure he never wants to hear from me again… It’s hard enough to think about having this baby, but what if he’s like my dad? In and out of my life, never being someone either of us can depend on?  

“I love Dad, and I ALWAYS knew that he loved me and I’m so glad he WAS there for the times that he was… but it sucked too. It sucked for me and I think it was a million times worse for Mom. Mom just always waited for him to get his shit together, and every time it seemed like it was, somehow he managed to break her heart all over again and I don’t want that! I don’t want to be the mom that has to try and cover for an absentee father every time he isn’t there! I don’t want to have to scream and yell and threaten to go to his parents if he doesn’t send child support on time so I can pay my kid’s daycare! And I know that right now I’m sounding pretty dramatic and thinking worst case scenario and really internalizing everything about my past and that isn’t necessarily fair… but right now I’m just not feeling prosaic or rational. I just really want to go to bed. I love you, and I appreciate how great you’ve been today…. I just, I don’t think I’m ready to actually deal with any of this right this second.” And with her head hanging and tears in her eyes, Rory turned and left.

Emily watched as Rory walked up the stairs, but once she heard the bedroom door shut, she let out a sigh and got to work.


	2. Breakfast Confessional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, the chapter in which Chris parents his ass off.

The sun was streaming through the windows- Rory had been so tired when she went to bed last night that she hadn’t thought to close the curtains. It had taken an hour to fall asleep, but once she did it was at least, mercifully, dreamless and deep. She looked over at the alarm clock- 7:30? Wow, when was the last time she got up this early without having a job to go to or a plane to catch. Why was she awake at this hour?

Was someone knocking at her door? She sat up slightly in the bed and called out:

“Come in.”

“Rory! I’m so glad you’re awake, I wanted to let you sleep a bit more, but there is someone here to see you and you did go to bed so early last night that I thought I’d just check and see if you’re awake and can come down? No need to dress, just a robe is fine. We’ll see you downstairs in five, yes?” And without even waiting for an answer, Emily left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Who was here? Grandma had clearly been scheming, she was up to something. Who could this unexpected guest be? It couldn’t be Mom, Mom would have texted if Grandma called her or if she was coming over. Her minister friend again? Was this going to be like the time they thought she was having sex with Logan and had him come to dinner to lecture her about sex and having to buy her future husband a sweater? No, that didn’t seem right either, Emily had taken everything in stride yesterday, she’d been, almost miraculously, amazing- exactly what Rory had needed, she wouldn’t spring some kind of breakfast confessional on her would she?

As she went down the stairs she heard her grandmother talking with someone- a man? Who could it possibly be? She wasn’t dragging in eligible young men who would be willing to marry sullied goods in order to give her child a legitimate name, right? Not even Emily Gilmore would do something that weird and archaic, right?

“Get a grip Gilmore, you’re starting to lose it…” she murmured under her breath as she moved towards the voices and the dining room.

“Rory, I’m so glad you could join us!” Emily stood up from the long table where she had been sipping her morning coffee and talking to her guest…

“Dad! What are you doing here?”

Christopher stood to hug her.

“Hey kiddo! How are you doing? Your grandmother called me last night to tell me you’re staying with her for a few days, and I didn’t want to miss out on a chance to spend some quality time with my girl while she’s right around the corner!” Emily was in the corner looking a little concerned about Rory’s reaction, but also slightly triumphant?

“Oh… wow… it’s great to see you. How are you? How’s Gigi?”

“Oh, you know, growing way too fast for my liking, but we finally found a movie she’ll watch that ISN’T Frozen, so my life is a bit easier. Say, what did you torment your mother with when you were her age, watching over and over and over again?”

“Umm, Ken Burns’ _Civil War_?” That made Chris laugh,

“Of course it was… fewer singing and dancing snowmen?”

“No snowmen, but you know, little girls and their love of cannons…”

“Right, and of course the sexy moustaches.”

“And men in uniform, can’t beat that can you?” They smiled at each other and Rory moved in to sit down. Emily looked at them and suddenly decided that she needed to go and “check if the paper had been delivered yet.” Before leaving the room she looked significantly at Rory, but at Rory’s confused look she said,

“And Rory, didn’t you have a little bit of a problem you wanted to talk to your father about? You know, the one we were discussing last night right before you went to bed?” Thanks Grandma, super subtle. And then the room was silent- somewhat awkwardly.

“Look, Kid, I’m not an idiot and you definitely aren’t either. So I’ll be honest- when your grandmother called me at 9:45 last night to mention you were staying here and maybe you’d like to see me, I figured something was up. Any chance you want to tell me what’s so bad that Emily Gilmore would call me at a socially unacceptable hour and ask me to come over? Remember, this is the woman who has said to my face “you’re weak”, “you’re a coward”, “I always knew you’d be a disappointment- you’re pleasant enough, but you have no spine”. So it’s fine that you may not want to talk about whatever is going on… but I think we can agree that all signs point to it not being nothing and I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

He was not prepared for his 33 year old daughter to spontaneously burst into tears. He looked like he didn’t know if he should flee in terror or try to do something to help. He finally stood up and went around the table to where she sat, pulling a chair next to her and hugging her to him.

“Oh Dad, I fucked up- I fucked up so badly and I don’t think it’s possible to make it right! I don’t even know how to tell anyone- everyone is going to be so disappointed and I’m just such a disaster right now and I’m ruining everything and how can I possibly fix any of this?”

This was not a Rory he knew. Granted, he hadn’t been around for much of her childhood traumas or teen angst, he didn’t need to be- who needed a deadbeat dad who couldn’t get his shit together for two months at a time when they had Super Girl, Wonder Woman and Mary Poppins all in one for their mom? But Rory wasn’t someone to get overly emotional, he could probably count the times she burst into tears in front of him on one hand and almost every instance she had been under 10 and usually involved personal injury or the library not having _A Tree Grows In Brooklyn_.

“Hey, Kid, Ror- I don’t know what’s going on, but whatever it is, we got this! What? Did you steal another yacht? Don’t forget, I’m rich now, we’ll pay the owner off! Are you sick- we’ll call the best doctors! Do you have a bookie on your ass that we need to settle with? A contract on your head and we need to smuggle you out of the country to lie low for a while?” He was trying to get her to crack a smile, maybe he was overshooting.

“No, Dad, it’s all so much worse than that!”

“Ok, Ror, you’re really starting to freak your old man out with this so I’m willing to pay you $10,000 if you tell me right this second what’s going on before I have a heart attack and a stroke all at once.”

“Dad, I’m pregnant.” And with that she started to tell him the story- the WHOLE story- a story punctuated by sobs and sniffling as she poured it all out. Her career troubles, Hamburg, the “Vegas Arrangement”, Naomi Shropshire, a bad interview with some inane website, something about standing in lines and a Wookie that pretty much ensured he’d never be able to watch Star Wars again... And he just listened, holding her and trying to soothe her.

When she was done he stood up and moved to grab a box of kleenex from the sideboard, handing it to her while trying to think.

“Dad, say something, please? I know you’re so disappointed in me, I know that I did everything all wrong-”

“Hey, Rory, let’s get something right here. You are my daughter and I love you more than you can possibly understand- and that’s not conditional on you winning a Pulitzer or marrying Prince William or curing cancer- it’s completely, 100% unconditional and guaranteed because you and Gigi will ALWAYS be the greatest thing I ever did, you’ve only ever made me proud.”

“But Dad- all those-”

“No, Rory, look, I let you talk, you had your chance. And yeah, I think I need a minute, I mean, you basically hit every single item on the list of things Dads least want to hear their daughters say- I was kind of hoping you’d be 50 or 60 before you met a guy you liked enough to sleep with…” Yeah, that was a lame joke- but it made her almost crack a smile.

“I mean, none of this is how I hoped this would all happen- I always hoped you’d be married, or at least in a relationship with the father of my grandchild... “ Whoa, he was going to need a minute to process that thought- he was going to be a grandfather? He wasn’t old enough for that, grandfathers had moustaches and arthritis and watched PBS- none of those things described him at all.

“Sorry about that Kid, that thought caught me a little off guard… But of all people, I doubt your mom and I are really in a position to judge you for getting in this situation… Wait, so if I’m here, Emily knows?” Rory nodded, sniffling again as he started piecing together another very important part of this puzzle. “And I’m guessing your mom doesn’t?” She shook her head.

“She and Luke get married in a week, she’s crazy stressed with that and there is a conference of really weird morticians at the Inn this weekend and so she’s working extra hard to keep Michel from saying offensive things to them, and she’s evaluating bids for the new Annex for the Inn… and I only found out yesterday and Grandma showed up while I was having my first of many panic attacks over the whole thing with all the tests on the floor and I was crying and…”

“And this conversation you guys had last night? I’m guessing it was what spurred her into calling me?” Again, Rory nodded.

“Want to clue me in on the subject of the conversation?”

“She wants me to tell the father. I said I wasn’t sure if I would, or even if I should.” And the last piece seemingly fell into place for Christopher.

“Hence my being here at 7:30 in the morning. Well, you gotta say this for Emily Gilmore, subtle she is not.”

“Not historically, no.”

“Ok, well, let’s talk about this then- the father, it wasn’t just a one time thing, it was a serious thing?”

“Dad, I love him.” And she was tearing up again. God, was she ever going to be done crying? She really didn’t think so.

“Ok, well, I know he’s engaged, and that’s rough, but he isn’t married yet- shouldn’t you give him the chance to break things off?”

“Dad, I’m pretty sure he never wants to hear from me again.”

“How can you possibly know that Rory? If you love him, if you were with him for so long, maybe he does love you too- how can you possibly-?”

“Because, Dad, this man has proposed to me twice and the first time I was too young and I was confused and I was worried about my career starting and I said no and the second time I was just fucking scared and I hid behind this idiotic “Vegas Rule”- a rule I made up, by the way, so good job there Rory. I can’t just go back to him now, weeks before his big, fancy wedding, after rejecting him TWICE and say “Hey, guess what, I’m a total wreck, I’m a complete failure at everything and have no money, no career, no apartment and I’m knocked up with your kid so I’m exactly the gold-digger your mother accused me of being all that time ago.”

“WHOA! Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, you need to stop talking like that right this second! You are NOT a failure. You are definitely not a gold digger with no money- you’re half Gilmore, half Hayden, you could buy and sell most people at least once, if not twice over! Except, I mean, you wouldn’t, obviously, that would be wrong, but it’s nice to know you could, isn’t it?”

“Dad, I know that I have my trust fund from Trix, but I’ve used up a significant part of it these last ten years, failing harder and harder as a journalist, and Grandpa left me something, but-”

“No buts, Kiddo- you don’t know this, but I set up an account for you a while back- when I got the Hayden money… you wouldn’t let me pay for anything except for Yale, but I figured at some point you might want to go to grad school or have a wedding or buy a house or something, so I put aside some money for you… it’s not a trust fund really, it’s just an account, there are no strings attached. And if you think that this kid of yours isn’t going to have a trust fund big enough to buy a private island, it’s almost like you don’t know me.”

“Dad, it’s not like I’m worried about literally being homeless. But come on, I’m 33- I have ONE New Yorker article that’s looking more and more like a fluke-- I can’t even get a job at _Huffington Post_! I went to Chilton and Yale- I was Editor of the _Yale Daily News_ , I worked on the Obama Campaign, and what am I doing now? Having sex with my engaged ex-boyfriend who even ten years later I can’t get over, despite MY rejection of him so I could “take on the world!” What was I even thinking? He was the love of my life and I was so convinced I was destined for such great things that I wouldn’t marry him 11 years ago and now? And who meets the love of their life at 20? Except, I mean, you met Mom at what? 12? And I guess that didn’t exactly work out so well, but…UGH!” And Rory stood, she needed to pace, she had so much nervous, anxious energy, she needed to work it off. “Dad, I didn’t take the world by storm, I never met anyone else I loved like him, and now I’m looking at studio apartments- in Queens, because that’s where my stellar life decisions have me!” And with that it was all out there.

“Ok, Ror, I think it’s time for us to play one of my least favorite games- it’s a game called “Look At Your Father’s Shitty Life Decisions”.

“Dad…”

“No, I know that your mom seriously sheltered you from a lot of my worst traits and choices, but I have a point to make and I think it would be good for you right now to hear some of them- I promise, I’m going somewhere with this.” He breathed in, knowing this was going to be seriously unpleasant for him- God bless Lor, she had always been far too kind about him, even when he was the deadest of deadbeat dads, she always spun it to Rory so that Rory wouldn’t lose faith in him.

“So, you know that the number of high schools I was kicked out of was, well, I thought it was an impressive record- that is, until I met Logan and found out that he got kicked out of schools that even I couldn’t manage to thrown out of.”

“Ah yes, the strangest ice breaker I have ever heard.”

“Well, the truth is that college wasn’t all that different, except by then I was 18 and my parents couldn’t actually _make_ me keep going to new schools. I think all said and done maybe I completed 30 credit hours with a passing grade? But it was fine, I was going to make millions! I used up a pretty good chunk of my not inconsequential trust fund chasing ideas, opening companies, investing in companies… I actually invested in a motivational speaking business- you know, Tony Robbins/hotel conference rooms/bad coffee? Yeah, lost a few million in that one- but I was sure he was the next Deepak Chopra! I mean, it’s really kind of a miracle I didn’t end up in a cult of some kind because I was easy pickins.

“Oh, then I went through my art phase, I actually bought a painting that I was told would be the next Jackson Pollack for $350,000- turns out it was LITERALLY done by a woman’s preschool class.”

“Dad, what are you talking about? Why are you telling me all of this? You don’t have to-”

“Remember my move to California when you were, what? Ten? That was actually after a really brutal breakup with a woman named Sharona- your mom will NEVER hear that, by the way, I can’t listen to various verses of The Knack for the rest of my life, you got that?” Rory smiled that time- he was completely right and she couldn’t wait to blackmail him with that information later.

“Well, it was a rough breakup, I was convinced she was the next Mrs. Christopher Hayden, she burned a lot of my possessions, trashed my credit… and I went out and got a DUI. Super proud night for me- my parents had to come and get me from jail at the age of 26. Not 20, Rory- 26. It was ugly. Straub was yelling for two or three days straight, telling me about how I was going to move back home and either go back and finish school or come work at a friend’s consulting firm, but it was time I grew up.

“So, naturally, the day dad’s lawyers get me out of the DUI charge, probably by committing some kind of felony count of bribing a judge, I get on my bike and run away in the middle of the night, leaving my mom a three-line note. I had three different start ups over the next 2 ½ years, and every single one of them was going to be my breakthrough. I actually had the chance to invest in MySpace but thought it was a strange concept that no one would use- that’s how together I was!”

“Dad, this is really sweet and kind of fun, but what’s your point? The father is crazy successful these days, it’s more the engagement to a French heiress that is concerning me.”

“This isn’t about Logan- by the way, you know I know it's Logan, right? No offense, but I kind of vividly remember the first proposal, that sort of gave it away... Anyways, this isn't about him, although he's a handsome and charismatic fellow, I can see how you could easily confuse him and me..." He winked at her, smiling, because, he was Christopher, and there wasn't a day of Rory's life that his smile hadn't been able to charm her at least a little. "Rory, 20 years ago, I thought I was actually the biggest fuck up on the planet. Your mother had you at 16, moved out on her own at 18 and worked as a maid, raising you, in a shack, for years! And now she’s got one of the best inns in New England, she’s had at least 7 offers to be bought out, she’s got an amazing house, she finished her degree, she’s marrying a guy that I officially have to hate, but also know that she’s really happy with him… she has always been amazing- she worked for it, it wasn’t handed to her, but she found her way and she’s just one of the most amazing women I’ll ever know.

“And you? You are brilliant, and you are beautiful- and you picked a bad time to be in a pretty rough industry. So things aren’t going your way? Well, maybe there is a little more Christopher Hayden in you than most people say- because let me tell you, late 90’s-early 2000’s in Silicon Valley? There might be a few corollaries between that and journalism right now… Hmm, maybe you could write a piece on that? But that’s not the point- the point is that once I hit the absolute floor of Rock Bottom, I figured something out.

“I needed to change MY expectations. I didn’t want to be tied down at a desk or with a woman, but I wanted all the perks of steady income and constant companionship. I wanted to prove to my dad that he was wrong about me, so I figured I had to make it BIG and throw it in his face. And you, and Lorelai? I so desperately wanted to be good enough for you two- and in my head that meant being able to give you EVERYTHING. Nothing less than Steve Jobs or Simon Labonn could ever be good enough for you girls- in my opinion.

“And guess what? About two months after I figured that out, in no little part due to Sherry if I’m being entirely honest, and I moved to Boston, I got a job working FOR someone- something I thought I’d never do. I worked my way up at a small but great company, doing some consulting, some sales- it was so similar to what I had been doing, but about ¼ of the risk of- sure, ¼ of the money too- but I had to adjust, I had to adapt. And I ended up Executive VP of another company within 10 years, and honestly? I loved it! I had time to be a dad for Gigi, a MUCH better one than I was to you- we reconnected. I had time with your mom, I was there for MY mom... It turned out life wasn’t always about my intelligence, or my skills- I was actually pretty damn good at what I did, with a few notable exceptions... I just didn’t always place the winning bet.

“You’ve always been so smart, Rory. Like, your mom called me a few times when you were really young, freaked out by the latest thing you did lightyears ahead of what baby books said you should be doing or saying. She would spend hours freaking out about how you were too smart for her and they’d take you away from her because she couldn’t keep up with you. And you are a great writer. But, it’s not a great time for journalists. Your Naomi piece was great, but you know what I liked more? That series of pieces you did for Teen Vogue about Title IX implications for colleges sexual assault stats (although, not an easy piece for the dad of two daughters to read). Or how about the thing you wrote about the ACA’s provision for kids under 26 being on their parents’ insurance? Or the piece about your grandfather after his death? Those were classic Rory Gilmore- edgy, smart, erudite- engaging and human.

“Maybe you need to stop worrying about where you should be, and figure out where you want to be. “Ok, so if you had married Logan, you might not have had so many of the experiences you’ve had, and I doubt you regret many of them, do you?” She thought about it and shook her head, she really didn’t. “Alright, so your 20’s were a net positive. You did the roving reporter thing, you freelanced, you met interesting people and traveled the world. Now? We start Phase 2, and there are NO rules for it. Are you going to decide to focus on having a kid, being a mom and finding some brilliant way to do that while still writing this book you are working on? Are you going to NOT have this kid, which, by the way- that IS an option, your mom and I will support whatever you need to do Kiddo… and you can go back to J School or law school or start a blog or a podcast or become a publisher or a consultant… you’ve got options. Just, maybe you need to be ready to hit the reset button on your expectations of yourself. Because no one else has ANY expectations of you beyond BE HAPPY.”

Rory was crying again, but this time it was different, it was like some of the weight had been lifted off her chest. He dad didn’t think she was a loser, it was ok that she wasn’t her mom or her Grandfather, and he was right, she didn’t regret the path she’d taken, mostly. She just didn’t know where to go from here.

“Dad, what I asked you a week ago… well, I sorta thought I might be pregnant then, that’s why I came by, it wasn’t about the book, not really. And your answer was good, it was… it was textbook, like a script writer helped actually. But now that you know all of the mess that I’m in… what would you do? Should I tell Logan? What is he going to do?” She looked up at him with big, round, teary eyes- it was the exact look that Gigi had when she woke up from a nightmare and he had to reassure there were no monsters in the closet or under the bed.

“Wow, you’re really making me parent my ass off today, huh? Well… I don’t know. Honestly, your mom gave me a lot more credit than she probably should have, she forgave me way too easily for all the times I let you- both of you- down. And I’m going to spend a lot of my life regretting that I wasn’t around more, that I wasn’t better… but I do know that it’s because of you, and your mom, that I got my shit together and kept it that way. I also know that these regrets are on me- they’re mine because I didn’t step up- your mother never made a choice FOR me when we were going through all of this.

“And every second I _was_ there, it was AWESOME! I love being your dad, the things I regret in life are not having been around more, not having MORE of those memories. I can’t tell you what’s going to happen with Logan. I do know that it’s going to be tough for me to NOT kick his ass next time I see him, and I can’t even _speculate_ about your mother or Luke will react.” That made Rory groan, she hadn’t even played out that scenario yet! “But I know that even the worst guys, deserve at least a chance to get to know their kid. And I don't really think Logan fits the bill of "worst" guys.

“Now, as for YOU and Logan, and you turning him down twice? Well, let's just say that I know from experience what it’s like to pine for a Gilmore Girl for the majority of your life- maybe don’t count him out yet.” Rory just came up to him and leaned in for a hug and Christopher just held her tight, rubbing his hand down her back in circles, wishing he could fix this all for her and feeling his heart break a little bit knowing that he couldn’t. But she’d be ok, wouldn’t she? I mean, it was Rory- she’d be fine.

“Now, how about you go shower and get dressed and we’ll go do something incredibly silly- we can go to Six Flags and speak in weird accents or maybe an all day movie marathon at some theater with unlimited popcorn refills and tons of red vines?” Rory wiped her eyes one more time, nodding and almost smiling before she pulled Christopher back to her in one more tight hug.

“For the record, you have ALWAYS been my favorite Dad… just thought you should know.” She smiled up at him as he laughed and she left the room singing quietly, “My my my myyyy Sharonaaa”...

“RORY! You promised!”


	3. Flashback: Proposal #2

_It had been three of the best days of Rory’s life- she had called Logan to say she was going to be in Amsterdam to cover something happening at The Hague, did he want to meet? He had hedged, presumably had to check on his schedule, see if there was anything pressing with Odette (God, what kind of name was that? It just reminded her of the word odious… in fact, she looked it up one time and the name actually meant wealthy- so probably the perfect girl for Logan to bring home to Shira, no?)_

_Then he texted her to meet him in three hours at Schiphol airport- immediately before he whisked her to Barcelona, one of her favorite cities in the world. They stayed in a great hotel near the Plaza Espanya, right by the fountains and the Catalonian Art Museum- they got cafe cortados at the tiny little shop across the street from their hotel, they drove out of town to the Gaudi museum- the actual residence of the insane Master himself (Rory spent about $300 on various items from the gift shop that Lorelai would never believe existed) and then another day out tasting Cava and visiting Roman ruins._

_Their last night in the city was Midsummer’s Eve- the Vernal Equinox. Spain always did know how to throw a party, starting the day before neighborhoods had been compiling old furniture, boxes and all kinds of wood to build giant bonfires in the plazas that ran down the avenidas. They walked up and down the neighborhoods, laughing and eating and drinking such amazing wines in shitty little dives that lined the streets. They finally found themselves out on the beach where the bonfires were massive and people were in various states of dress and intoxication- not even primarily from the sangria that seemed to be flowing free._

_Musicians were set up all along the beach, if you didn’t like one band or style of music, you only had to walk about 200 feet to hear a new one- everything from classical guitar to EDM to honest-to-god country music- Blake Shelton in Spanish was a whole new level for the two of them to handle. At midnight they jumped over the fire three times for good luck. By 2 in the morning they were pleasantly drunk, walking down the street, hand in hand, stopping frequently to make out in the soft glow of fires, reflecting in the ocean along with the moon- getting closer and closer to just ripping the clothes off each other, regardless the spectators._

_It was magical- the music, the laughter, the fires, the sound of the waves slapping against the shore, the wine flowing freely…_

_“I don’t want this to end, its just too perfect.” Rory was murmuring against him as his teeth played with a spot on her neck that she particularly enjoyed._

_“Who says it has to end, Ace?” She could feel his smile against her skin, she knew exactly how heartbreaking it could be, precisely what his eyes would look like when he was trying to get “persuasive”._

_“Mmm, maybe we can stay one or two more days? I can move my interview on Thursday-”_

_“Two more days is good, but what about longer?”_

_“What?” Despite her definite arousal, the way she was sort of hoping that his hand that has been stroking her thigh and hip over her skirt was about to move under the gauzy fabric, she was a little confused._

_“Come on Rory, why do we keep doing this to ourselves? We’re good together- fuck that, we’re AMAZING together. It’s never going to be like this with anyone else- let’s stop playing games and just go for it!”_

_She pulled away then, this was a very different conversation than she thought was having a minute ago._

_“Logan, we can’t- you know what this is- Vegas, remember?”_

_“Screw Vegas, Rory- I never asked for Vegas! I mean, come on- what are we doing here?”_

_“Logan, you are ENGAGED. You know, to get married? To a French heiress? Any of this ringing a bell?”_

_“Oh come on, this isn’t about her, it’s never been about her. I’m not in love with her, not really- I’m in love with you, it’s always been you Rory.” It was at that moment that she realized that his legs were slightly more wobbly than they should be if he was truly sober- he definitely wasn’t wasted, but this wasn’t his most coherent thought ever._

_“Come on Logan, it’s late, we should go back to the hotel.”_

_“Rory, I love you- I’m IN LOVE with you. I thought you loved me too! Why are you making me beg like this?”_

_“Logan come on, we both know this is the booze talking, you don’t mean it. We’re going to get you back to the hotel and drink a bunch of water…”_

_“I want you Ace, I want to marry you, I want to have babies with you- think about it, your eyes, my smile- can you imagine it? We’ll buy a house in Manhattan so you can write, or maybe in your crazy town of Stars Hollow. Can’t you see it? Can’t you see the life in front of us?”_

_And the problem was that she could- she could see it so clearly, so vividly- it was screaming at her in technicolor! She was almost instantly transported to a house that looked suspiciously like Sookie’s, on Plum Street (thank God those weird old timey names hadn’t stuck- Sores and Boil Alley???) and there were three kids running around that had blue eyes and dark hair, but smiles that could pretty much stop animals in their tracks they were so blinding. There were books everywhere, pictures of them vacationing at Martha’s Vineyard, around Christmas trees, pictures of them at Luke’s Diner and a booth in the Firefly Festival…._

_But that wasn’t real. She was a journalist, she traveled the world trying to dig up the story- she had to be ready at a moment’s notice, she was supposed to be ready to hole up in hotels under siege in Africa, to leave her passport and run for her life in the war torn Middle East- she needed to be ready to get up and go, no matter what- In Omnia Paratus, wasn’t that what he had taught her? What he had made her believe in? And what about his family? There was no way Shira and Mitchum would ever let it happen and she didn’t want to come between him and his parents again- he had this whole business life that she just wasn’t a part of, not anymore, she couldn’t be the corporate trophy wife who just hosted teas and sponsored charity groups._

_“Logan, come on, you know that isn’t how this works! I’ve got stories I’m working on, you have Odette and HPG, you’re in London, I’m… well, I don’t really have an address to give you right now- and I won’t for a while. This is why we agreed, casual- we’re together when we’re together, but that’s it- we’re like Vegas- what happens here, stays here. We can’t upset the applecart, you know that! Mitchum and Shira would never speak to you again, your grandfather would literally have a stroke and we both know I can’t up and move to London. Come on, this has been working- if it ain’t broke, why fix it?”_

_Ok, maybe he had been pretty direct- he wanted her still, he wanted to be with her and not with Odette. But wasn’t that how she justified this whole arrangement to herself in the first place- Logan and Odette may love each other, they may be engaged, but they certainly weren’t in love… it was what it was. As long as everyone behaved like they were supposed to, publicly at least, Rory and Logan could be whatever they wanted in private, this is how it had been for centuries among the WASPs. Discretion, not fidelity, was the order of the day. And this way, no one would get hurt, right?_

_The next day they acted like it never happened- it was a bit like the old days when he would get super wasted and they would pretend he hadn’t done or said something incredibly stupid. But Logan knew that he hadn’t been that drunk- just frustrated with the situation- why was he settling for Odette? And how was it he lived a life in which a tall, leggy brunette who had actually modeled in the past (but donated all the money to charity, she didn’t need it and wanted to give back), was genuinely smart and funny and charming felt like settling? Oh, right, because every woman since Rory had been settling._

_She didn’t know any of this, she assumed he had a bit too much to drink (ok, maybe partially that was out of willful ignorance- she wasn’t ready to dig any deeper). She had just started writing her piece on Naomi Shropshire and initial reviews from her editor and confidantes were beyond enthusiastic- the New Yorker LOVED it, Jess thought it was brilliant and Logan could barely contain his excitement at this manifestation of the brilliance he always knew was there._

_Of course_ he _loved it, he’d always been fair, giving her real feedback, helping her become a genuinely better writer, but he also always understood the caliber of her talent, the extent of her capabilities- she was absolutely remarkable as a woman and as a writer- and she’d never want him like he wanted her. Never._

 


	4. Four Words, 5 Syllables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, how I think the conversation post-4 words would go.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Four words. Four tiny little words- only five syllables- that’s it. Four words had completely changed the dynamic between her and her mom. Lorelai was quiet, and with Lorelai, that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

Although, to be fair, she’d dropped a pretty impressive bombshell.

“You wanna say something there?”

“Can you please tell me I’m not about to have a half wookie grandchild?”

“Mom! The wookie was MONTHS ago!”

“Ok, well I’m sorry, but I know you haven’t seen Paul in a pretty long time and your thing with Logan has been over since…” She stopped talking as she saw Rory’s face. “Oh. Wow. Ummm… I’m sorry, I thought you guys ended it?”

“We did, but then, he came to town for one last goodbye and it was… oh Mom, it was absolutely amazing, it was the picture perfect farewell and I was ready to put him behind me and move on.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“That’s… that’s big.”

“Yep.”

Lorelai was about to say something, ask more questions when they were interrupted by a frantic Kirk anxiously waiting for her feedback on the wedding set up- he had a million questions and came in like the hurricane of dysfunction and insanity that was so uniquely him.

“Hey, Kirk, I need to actually just… I was talking to Rory here and…”

“No, Mom, God no- it’s your wedding day! My thing isn’t exactly going anywhere, go- talk to Kirk… I mean, I should probably go try and get a few hours of sleep before we walk you down that aisle, again... right?”

“Rory, are you sure? I don’t really…” It was pretty obvious that Lorelai thought they needed to finish the conversation and just about as obvious that Rory really didn't want to. 

“Positive, Mom. I really am tired and could use some sleep. You know…” And before Lorelai could say anything else Taylor came out and started yelling about something and Rory headed home. Well, she’d done it, she’d ripped off the band-aid and told her mom. She was really checking off the list of people who had to know- mom would handle telling Luke, which was great, and once Ms. Patty or Babette found out, they’d take care of the rest of the town. Grandma knew, Chris knew, Mom knew… it was going to be harder and harder to keep pushing off telling Logan.

Cause her dad was right- she couldn’t NOT tell him, that would be… well, it would be fucked up. She knew that’s what her mom would say- her mom who had seen what the whole thing with Luke and April and Anna had been like, she’d had front row center tickets to that show and would never encourage Rory to do anything like that.

And, after all, it’s not exactly like it was Rory’s _fault_ \- she knew that, it takes two to tango and all that. She wasn’t any more negligent than he was. She hadn’t lied to him about birth control or anything, she hadn’t trapped him, this was just one of those crazy things. She had to tell him.

When Rory got home she went to her room and pulled out her fancy pamphlets she’d been hiding inside a book- an old biology book actually, it seemed safe that no one would be in here looking to borrow that one. She was glad she'd told her mom, glad that part was over, it was out there. But she knew the next words from Lorelai would be "now what?" and that was the question Rory had no answer to. 

Sitting on her bed she looked at her options- spread out before her.

Adoption- but Rory couldn’t imagine going through an entire pregnancy and then giving her baby away. She had always figured, somewhere in the back of her mind that she’d be a mom some day- and she really wasn’t getting any younger. And truth be told, if this baby was with ANYONE else, anyone less complicated than Logan, well, the decision to keep it would be pretty simple, wouldn’t it? So wait, did that mean she was considering NOT keeping it?

Abortion- Rory was very on board with a woman’s right to choose. She had certainly debated, and won, all kinds of questions to do with it- when does life begin? Privacy vs life of a fetus? Medical necessity… all sorts of times she’d been able to proudly speak up for the right to do this, but did that mean she could? Then again, if the father was ANYONE but Logan, would it be this hard? Was she really going to have an abortion to save her the mortification of telling him and then accepting the fall out? Dealing with whatever happened next?

Why didn’t she have a time machine or a Tardis or something that she could use to just go back and erase ONE bad decision?

Then again, which bad decision would it be? Having sex with Logan that night at the inn? Turning down his drunken proposal in Barcelona? Turning down his proposal when she graduated from Yale? How was it that being pregnant with the love of her life was anything less than the happiest occasion of her life? UGH, she was so fucked.


	5. Love & Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we bid adieu to Odette.

Logan entered the apartment and tossed his keys in the bowl he kept by the door. He didn’t _used_ to have a bowl by the door, but Odette had moved in and she apparently needed a table for her purse and stuff. Then of course once there was a table, there appeared a small precious bowl, probably passed down for generations in her family because ⅔ of the stuff she owned were precious antiques that had been passed down since Eleanor of Aquitaine and if he moved too fast or bumped something in the middle of the night of his ultra modern apartment that he loved, he would probably smash into and break something that was older than America. Oh, the joys of marrying a French heiress.

“Logan, are you home?” Who else would it be he had to wonder to himself, no one else has a key except the twice a week maid. He took off his jacket and loosened his tie as he walked into the living room and towards the bar. It had been an incredibly long day, at the end of a very long week, and then he had to stop by the lawyer to review the latest draft of the pre-nup that he didn’t want to sign for the wedding that he didn’t want to have and he deserved a tall glass of scotch for his efforts at continuing the Huntzberger dynasty- in business and at home.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m going to have a drink and then do you want to get Chinese for dinner? I was thinking that we could just order in, I feel like doing something lazy and mindless tonight.” Odette walked out of the bedroom and into the living room holding a glass of wine and looking nervous. She had already changed out of her clothes from work, but despite it being 8:30 she wasn't wearing her yoga pants or loungewear, she was in jeans and a sweater, was she going somewhere? “Are you ok?”

“Actually, I’m glad you’re home, I didn’t want to have to leave you a note but I need to get back to Paris, tonight.”

“Oh. Is everything alright?”

“It’s grandmere… it seems that she slipped back into a coma and they don’t think she’s coming out of it this time. I need to be back home and help Mama.” Odette’s grandmother had been pretty sick for the last month or so and none of this was a surprise- Odette had been there just a few days ago, but the woman had seemed to be on the path to getting better. It was another thing they'd use to further delay setting a date for the wedding that their mothers were so anxious for them to commit to.

“I’m so sorry Odette. Do you want me to come with you? I can have a bag packed in just a few minutes.” And he meant it, he was more than willing to go and hold her hand and say the right things to that family, help her out- she was great, he loved her a lot actually... sure, a bit more like the way he loved Colin and Finn than the way he always imagined loving his wife... that is, if he had ever thought of Colin or Finn  _that way..._ which he had not. He sighed to himself, pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger, it really had been a long week if he was thinking about marrying Colin or Finn.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about… ummm, can we sit for a minute?” He looked at her warily- she’d been acting a little strange ever since she was in Paris last- quiet and pensive, but she had been pretty close with her grandmother and he assumed it was just stress and grief. He sat down in the chair next to the bar, something told him that maybe he’d want to be closer to scotch. He looked at her, she was one of the most composed and "put-together" people he'd ever met in his life, always looked like she was walking out off a runway, she was almost completely unflappable (Finn and Robert had spent a lot of energy on pranks intended to "flap" her- they never worked), and right now she was nervous and sort of pacing and just acting... well, kind of flapped. 

“Alright, I’m sitting, do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

She was nervous, she was doing the thing where she over swirled her wine in it’s glass and absently looked all around the room- thinking about how she’d redecorate it, it wasn’t an offense to his tastes or how it was now, she’d do it in Buckingham Palace, it was what happened when you lived with an artist/designer with 1600 years of an elegant pedigree involving villas and castles as part of your daily life.

“Last time I was in Paris, a lot happened. You’ve probably noticed that I’ve been pretty distracted, since I got left on my trip, and oddly, even more since I came home. And, I know that I have been, and you've been busy and I've been trying to figure things out. It’s just that... “ She took another sip of wine- well, gulp of wine was probably the more accurate statement, and that really had Logan sitting up, she was drinking a $100 Burgundy, she’d never treat it as casually as she was now.

“Come on Odette, whatever it is, you can tell me- like ripping off a band-aid.”

“I don’t think we should get married, Logan.”

Ok, he was ready to hear she was pregnant, or that her father was sick or maybe that she had found out about Rory… Or that she had been having an affair, which, by the way wasn’t considered a deal breaker according to the 112 page prenup he’d reviewed tonight. But he had not expected her to express doubts about the wedding.

“You don’t think we should get married?” She took another swig of wine.

“You see, when I got to Paris last week I realized that I was a few days late.” Late? Wait, like pregnant late??? His mind was reeling a bit and he thought back to the last time that they had… OMG- pregnant? He was going to be a dad? That’s great, isn’t that great? If it was great why was he feeling kind of sick? Wait, hadn't he thought he was prepared to hear her say she was pregnant and that's why she was nervous? But here he was, about to throw up and/or pass out at this little tidbit.

“Don’t worry, I took a test. I’m not. It was just the stress of grandmere being sick and the latest show at the gallery… I’m not.” Oh, Logan could breathe. She wasn’t pregnant. That was amazing- yes! He’d had one or two pregnancy scares in his life, you can’t be as big of a Lothario as he was in his pre-Rory days and not have at least one… this was just another reminder to always be careful… I mean, they weren't ready to have kids... they weren't even ready to get married and really commit for life, they most definitely weren't ready for kids to be involved, irrevocably tying them together...

And then he looked up at her and she was nodding along with him.

“What?” Why was she looking at him like that.

“Because I’m fairly certain you just had the emotional journey that I did, Logan. We’re going to be married soon, we’re in our 30’s and not getting any younger, we have absolutely no financial concerns about having a family as big or small as we want... and still, the thought of having a baby together is _absolutely terrifying_. Neither of us had one thought of excitement or joy, it felt like a chore, like an obligation... like a mistake.” She got up to refill her wine glass and look out the window for a minute, knowing that she needed to get this out.

“Look, we both know we aren’t in love, not really. You are one of my closest friends, and I do love you, and the families are happy, the numbers look good, the paperwork was simple- well, as simple as 100+ pages can be… And I was actually fine marrying you under those conditions… but I don’t think we really thought about what’s next? Because I can live with you and even marry you and we’re mostly just chums, I mean, we're actually pretty good together… But that isn’t what I want for my children.

“You and I grew up in _that_ kind of marriage. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why we were so ready to do the same thing, we’ve been conditioned. But being home, looking through the pictures of my family… my grandparents married for love- my mother’s parents. Grammy Lousette died four months after he did- they just didn’t want to be apart. Her funeral was, well, it was sad, but it was also happy because everyone was so happy they were going to be together again.

“I don’t want to wait around until one of us falls in love with someone else. I don’t want to overlook affairs. I want my children to be absolutely disgusted by the fact that their father and I are so in love with each other we can’t keep our hands off each other, even in 30 years. You and I Logan? We won’t ever have that.” She finished her glass of wine, looking a little sad, but confident.

He sat there, knowing she was breaking up with him- knowing that she was ending two years together, and it wasn't like being left at the altar, but did feel close to, and he knew that he should be sad or disappointed or maybe angry, but he actually didn’t think he’d ever felt so weightless in his life.

“Wow. That was not at all how I saw tonight going.”

“I know, but I think when you think about it for just a minute, you just might come to the same conclusion?” He looked up at her and smiled.

“Our mothers are going to kill us.”

“You don’t know the half of it, I’m pretty sure we were getting a house in the South of France for a wedding present.”

“Oh, now you tell me- that’s it, wedding is back on!” They laughed at each other, both feeling something that felt an awful lot like happy.

“So… Paris? Tonight? You're going now?”

“I need to be there, and that way I can break the news to my family in person. Then maybe I can come back in a few weeks and pack up? I got a call from a gallery in Florence, they’re interested in my resume, they want to bring more mixed media to their catalog and I thought that would be a fun challenge. They’re also pretty interested in native and aboriginal pieces, very primal and I’ve always wanted to spend more time scouring tiny, out of the way villages for local craftsmen- wandering through Bhutan and the Ivory Coast.”

“Plus it gets you somewhere with no cell service for at least six months after telling your mother the wedding is off?” Logan smirked at her, he really did understand this woman.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Logan- the only mother more supportive of my her child’s happiness, despite society’s conventions is Shira Huntzberger.” And she smiled, winking back, shouldn't all of this be so much more sad? Shouldn't there be tears and mourning and a feeling of overwhelming finality? No, they both seemed lighter than they had been since they got engaged.

After they laughed for a few minutes and chatted about things like returning wedding gifts, when she could pack up her stuff, what to do with the honeymoon package, “Why don’t you use it Odette? Two weeks in Tahiti should help you avoid your parents, Mitchum isn’t based in London so I can dodge his calls of shame pretty easily- not to mention, I'm only breaking Mom's heart about the wedding- you're about to tell your parents the wedding is off _and_ that you're taking a job that will have you in Malaria-ville 6 months of the year.”  They both laughed about that, they hugged, he made jokes about getting rid of all the ceramics around the house, that she knew he hated. Finally Odette realized that she had to leave, she had a 12:30 flight to Paris- wow, she must have really been anxious to do this if she was going to fly over in the middle of the night, but he was glad that one of them _finally_ had the guts to stand up and stop this moving freight train of disaster.

As she left she hugged him and gave him a farewell kiss on the cheek. She opened the door and right before she walked away from it, she turned around. “I know that I’m now officially an ex, and therefore all of my advice is automatically suspect, but what the hell? Logan, I don’t need any details, but ever since Hamburg, you changed- you smiled more, you saw your friends more… you were more fun to be with. And then, in the last few weeks, ever since your trip to see Honor, back home? You’ve been cranky and depressed and an all around grouch. I don't know what happened, I don't want to know, but I was just thinking... maybe you need another trip home? Just a thought.” She winked at him, waved a little and bid him “adieu”, rolling her impeccable Louis Vuitton bag with her and shutting his door with an appropriate sense of finality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, Odette is one of the most controversial characters to NEVER really be on screen and everyone has their take on her, but this is mine.
> 
> I can't believe that they were really in love, it seems like most likely there was an "understanding" between them- they were happy enough together, maybe even Logan thought he loved her until Rory was back in his life, I don't know. But I think that they needed a wakeup call that this "dynastic plan"/business arrangement involved actual human hearts beyond the two of them. 
> 
> Also, you may have noticed that she's nice in my version... well, I just don't think that after Rory Logan could go back to bangin' bimbos or bitchy Mean Girls. I think Odette was a case of "good enough for the family, and I can't have what I want- who, by the way, if she said the word, would be totally worth being disowned over".


	6. Singing Telegrams vs. Kirk the Mime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Lorelai and Rory discuss how to tell Logan

Rory did not feel well, and it wasn’t just nerves because she was finally going to sit down and write to Logan. She had spent three hours yesterday puking her guts up in the bathroom (wasn’t it supposed to be morning sickness- emphasis on _morning_?) While spending time hovering over the toilet in the downstairs bathroom (God Bless Luke for putting in a full bath downstairs in the remodel so she could lean her head over the bathtub in between her impressions of the _Exorcism of Emily Rose_ ) she debated if she should call Logan or if it would be better to write him… or should she suck it up, ask Christopher for the cash for a plane ticket to London?  _Rory, you should probably suck it up that you do actually have access to a few million dollars in your trust funds, it's not really about you anymore, might be time to start using them._

Then she tried to drink some juice and threw up more and decided pretty firmly that a trans-Atlantic flight was out- she was not good with air sickness bags _or_ airplane bathrooms. So calling him was an option- it was as close to in-person as she could get, but… she also knew it was unlikely to go well. She’d hem and haw and hopefully, finally get it out and pretty much sucker punch him and start rambling and… _Come on, Gilmore, that’s not it at all and you know it- you just can’t listen to him reject you and this kid to your face… well, to your ears…_

Ok, well, a letter it was. How much was it going to cost to overnight a letter to him? She googled it and decided it was probably ok, in this day and age, to save $42 and email him instead. She had to start thinking more financially prudently, she was going to, probably... most likely... maybe have a baby?

Lorelai came in right as she made that decision, bearing ginger ale, saltines and altoids.

“Hey Kid, how are you doing?” Lorelai was obviously worried, Rory had been having some pretty vicious pregnancy symptoms- bad enough there had been no choice but to tell Luke about the baby or he would have had her in an ambulance to the ER the second time he caught her throwing up in one day.

“Well, mom, I absolutely believe the Puritans were right about somethings, pregnancy is definitely a punishment for having sex.”

“Yeah, well, Hester Prynne, imagine going through this AND studying for the SATs. Although, it did get me out of having to dress for gym- not sure I ever thanked you for that one.”

“Glad to be of service. What do you have there?”

Lorelai came in and sat down. “We have ginger ale- Sookie always said it was her life saver during pregnancy when she was queasy- anything with ginger really- so I didn't even cheap out, this is the stuff with real ginger. Saltines were _my_ go to, so I kind of thought there might be something in the genes, you know? And then I remembered that Lane had some problems with the twins and she said peppermint helped, so I figured these are peppermints, we can give it a try.”

“At this point, I’m pretty willing to try anything, I don’t think I’ve kept anything down for two days.”

“Yeah, I noticed and I really don’t want to leave for our trip if you’re still like that- and I think we both know there is absolutely zero chance of my getting Luke to even leave the town limits if you’re still spending the bulk of your days on the bathroom tile.”

“Oh come on, you guys redid the bathroom which means the bathroom is probably still cleaner than during the Infamous Founders Punch episode…”

“Well, Mommy wanted to make sure you had only the nicest of vomitoriums. But seriously, Rory, have you talked to a doctor about this?”

“Does Google count?” She looked at Lorelai hopefully. “No, I haven’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I really want Paris to be my doctor, and I'd really like her to be pretty much the last person I tell... either way.” Whether she kept the baby or not. So that question was still hanging over them.

“Any more thoughts on that?” Lorelai had been SO careful not to opine on that question, it was absolutely the most personal decision Rory was ever going to be faced with and she refused to sway it _any_ way- aside from reassuring her that she’s in her corner, no matter what. “Cause we got bonds…” she had told her daughter.

Rory sighed as she nibbled around the edge of a saltine.

“I really hope this isn’t going to get me kicked out of NOW or upset Cecille Richards or anything- you _know_ I'm a feminist- I read _The_   _Feminine Mystique_ when I was 12! But, if I'm being really honest, I just don’t think I can decide either way until I talk to Logan.”

“And you’re going to do that, when? I hate having to push you on this one, but there is a bit of ticking clock situation, if you know what I mean.”

“I know, I know, I was actually just deciding how to do it when you came in.”

“Oooh, good! So, since we're all about telling Logan now, I have some _great_ ideas on how to do it. I was thinking that we could look into singing telegrams. You know, guys in barbershop jackets and those silly old hats and they do it in 4 part harmony?  Something snappy, like... _Rory's knocked up, it's yours... let her know if you want to be involved with baby Gilmore!_ ”

“Mom…”

“Or, we hire Kirk-”

“Oh, this is going to be good.”

“We hire him to go to Logan’s office in his mime costume and perform his renowned, _thrice_ lauded performance art piece on the stages of life- but he puts on a mask of you at the labor and reproduction segments…”

“Thrice lauded? Wait- did he perform it again???”

“Oh, you missed it! Shoot, why do you miss all the great moments- stupid growing up and having a career and leaving Mommy! He did it for Lulu’s birthday a few years back, right before he proposed!”

“Oh, Kirk, the last of the true romantics, that's what I say.”

“So, we go with Mime Kirk?”

“Mom, if Logan goes insane and has to be hospitalized from emotional trauma it’s going to make it really hard for him to figure out how he feels about being a dad- we should probably let him focus on _that_. Not to mention, you’re forgetting that Kirk doesn’t fly- and I don’t think I have enough time to send him by sea and get Logan's reaction. So, I was leaning towards a long, heartfelt email.”

“Ok, I appreciate the value savings, very wise… but… come on, _no_ pizzaz? No glitter or jazz hands?”

“I think for something like this, maybe fewer frills and costume changes is best.”

“Well, as your mother, I support your decision… but I really think you’re missing out on a prime opportunity.”

“In fact, I feel so good about this decision I’m going to take my crackers, my altoids and my ginger ale to my room and do this. I can do this. I got this.”

“Do you need me to come with you? I can put on an old cheerleading outfit and shout encouraging things while you type.”

“Why do you have a cheerleading uniform lying around?”

“I honestly believe for the sake of Luke’s dignity I should keep that one to myself.”

 ______________________________________________________________


	7. Lead in a Boxing Glove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rory, despite a few tangents, finally tells Logan the big news.

_Dear Logan_

_Wow, do people still start emails like old-fashioned letters? I kind of feel like I should be sitting on the front porch, sipping a mint julep and fanning myself with one lacy gloved hand, this feels very old-fashioned…although, I don't suppose, given the circumstances, anyone would confuse me for an old-fashioned Virginia Wolfe sitting in my room like a spinster and just writing letters to everyone I know. Then again, I don't really feel like "Hey, what's up" really works in this situation... not that Emily Post really did a thing that applies to our exact situation, well, actually, I don't really know if Emily Post did- I'll be honest, I've read a biography on her, but I can't say I've ever actually read any of her works. And right now I'm fighting the urge to go on Amazon and buy some of her books... huh, I wonder if Grandma has some of them I can snag before the big move._

_Sorry, I should back up- I know you didn’t expect to ever hear from me again and you’re probably wondering what I’m doing babbling at you, via email, about letter writing and Virginia Wolfe, Emily Post and mint juleps- it’s crazy because I kind of thought that by writing this to you it would help me figure out what to say and how to say it better than a phone call, but apparently, despite my impressive credentials as a writer, I’m not particularly concise when it’s about me and my life- I suppose I should think about that while I’m writing my very personal book, about me, as a person huh?_

_So let me start this by saying what I probably should have said over a year ago, that night in Hamburg, or in Barcelona on Midsummer’s Eve… and I definitely should have said in New Hampshire. Really, I should have said it the entire time we were having our insane "Vegas Arrangement"- where we, seemingly tacitly, agreed to never say it- well, I decided to never say it, it felt less like cheating that way I guess? I don't really know, I could be insane- I am my mother's daughter after all. But enough rambling._

_I love you. Ever since that first Life and Death Brigade event- the one that banned the use of the letter “e”, and you were the only person who would really speak to me and then you bought me that beautiful gown and talked me into facing my fears and diving into a story (pun not intended, but I also refuse to apologize for it)... So much of my life since I met you, has been inspired by your faith in me, by the lessons you helped me learn about myself, about journalism, about life- and of course, about love. Since meeting you, there really hasn’t been anyone else for me. I never had the courage to look you in the eye and ask you to not marry Odette, and I hate myself for it- but I understand that you have made your choice, and I promise to respect that._

_But there is something that you absolutely have to know, and you need to know now._

_I’m pregnant. I am 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant, if we’re going to be specific. I know math was never your best subject, but I’m pretty sure you understand the significance of that timing._

_I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. It’s been a bit of a shock, I’m still processing and mulling and weighing my options. I mean, come on, can you imagine it? Me, as a mom? I’ve still never managed to have a pet that stayed alive, although I definitely blame my mom for that. Then again, she’s got Paul Anka and I’ve dog-sat him over the years, and he’s still here, so maybe there is some hope? There goes that rambling again, wow, I_ really do _need to watch that as I’m writing my book._

 _Anyways, as I said, I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do about this- but, someone pretty wise recently advised me that no matter my choice or my decision, because I love you, and I_ really, really _do, I at least owe you the chance to weigh in._

 _This_ is not _an ultimatum- I promise you, if I decide to continue with the pregnancy and to raise this baby, you are not on the hook for a thing. But I also know what it’s like to grow up with a somewhat disinterested and frequently absent father and I want to know what I’m signing up for, as much as possible, before I make that decision- you know me, I need the facts. I also understand that this puts a strain on your marriage at pretty much the worst time possible, but unfortunately, at least in the state of Connecticut, my clock is ticking and I don’t really have the luxury of time to make this more convenient for you._

_I know this is all a lot to process- believe me, I’ve known about this for 8 days and I’m still in shock._

_I know your wedding is fast approaching- again, I have to apologize for the timing. And I know that we thought we said our goodbyes- and that night was_ so _beautiful and_ so _perfect and I honestly didn’t believe I’d ever see you again, but that rascally PG Wodehouse was a little too right, “Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing glove”._

_Please, take the time you need, and if I don’t hear from you.. Well, then I suppose that’s an answer too._

_Take care of yourself, Huntzberger._

_Love, Ace_


	8. #Lodette Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, the chapter in which Logan grows a pair and puts Mitchum in his place.

“Mr. Huntzberger?”

“Yes Faith?”

“Your father is here to see you.” Wow, that was fast. Logan sighed and pressed the intercom to tell her to send him in, but apparently his father didn’t really think that he had to behave in any kind of professional manner around his own son, in his own office building.

“Dad, what a surprise to see you today, can I have Faith get you-”

“What the hell is going on? I barely land in London and my phone is blowing up with calls and texts from your mother and the lawyers and they’re all telling me that the wedding is off, Odette is moving to Italy and _US Weekly_ is apparently reporting that #Lodette is over for good- what the hell does that even mean?”

“It’s a celebrity mashup- you know, Brangelina, Hiddleswift… Logan and Odette... Lodette.” He shrugs it off as Mitchum shoots him his most withering stare, one that Logan has generally become immune to at this point in his life.

“ _Well_ , now that the important part is resolved we can finally sit back and shoot some pinochle, I'm so relieved.”

“Sorry Dad, all out of pinochle cards, but I’m sure Faith could run out and grab some for us if you wanted. By the way, how does one play pinochle?”

“Cut the bullshit Logan, I know that you’re so used to getting your way cause you’re just so charming, but you know what I’m looking for. What the hell did you do to ruin the _one_ relationship in your life that your mom was happy with?”

“ _That’s_ what this is about? I find _one_ person that mom actually approves of and that ends and she sends you running across an ocean to yell at me?”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself, I was on my way to that conference in Amsterdam and thought I’d swing by here and check in with you on how acquiring that new app was going- I didn’t know that I was going to step off the plane and every Goddamned device I own was going to blow up with news about my son making the dumbest mistake of his life- and believe me, I’ve been there for quite a few of them- I know that’s no small accomplishment.”

“Dad, I’m sorry, as much as I'd love to sit here and let you recount all my many failures as a businessman, as a human being, as a Huntzberger... But, I actually have a flight I have to catch in about two hours and quite a bit of work to finish in the meantime- it was nice to see you, say hi to Honor and the kids for me.” Logan went back behind his desk, clearly signalling his father’s dismissal.

“Logan this is serious- what the hell did you do- it was all going so well?”

“You know, the thing that I love the most about our relationship is the way that you always just assume that it’s my fault. Did it ever occur to you that being stuck in a semi-loveless marriage wouldn’t be enough for a girl like Odette? Think about it- she’s gorgeous, she’s brilliant, I mean, she went to Oxford and the Sorbonne! She has a degree in Architecture AND Economics and then a Masters in Art History- why on Earth would she want to marry someone-”

“A Huntzberger!” Mitchum interjected.

“For God’s sake, she’s practically royalty in France, she doesn’t need to marry a fucking name! And she really didn’t want to marry someone who’s in love with someone else.”

“Oh, for the love of God Logan, please tell me this is not about her again!”

“Who?”

“You know who- Gilmore. Is this about Rory Gilmore? Goddammit, I knew when I saw you two together last Spring that there was something going on- no wonder Odette called it off!”

“Dad, Odette called it off because she wanted to move to Italy and run a gallery that was going to have her traveling through Australia and Sub-Saharan Africa and Bhutan, buying indigenous art and contemporary mixed media pieces- she’s about as interested in doing ‘what’s expected’ as I am- and we both realized we deserve more.”

“Logan, your mother is _very_ upset about this, you’re throwing away everything!”

“I’m not throwing anything away except my idiotic desire to keep trying to make you and Mom realize that I’m not the same Frat boy screw up that I was when I was doing the Life and Death Brigade stunts and all of that. Dad, I know I screwed up right out of school- but then, the work I did in San Francisco? It was good work- no, fuck that, it was _great_ work! That company bought us out at 10:1, kept me, and the IPO let me cash out at 30:1! And then you had your heart attack and I came here- and I did because you’re my dad and this is my family’s company and since I’ve been here, I’ve made us money! Print is dying and while you were burying your head in the sand, I helped us break into social media, I helped us acquire blogger networks that reduce overhead by 35% and increase readership and I helped in the acquisition and development of three new apps- one we just spun off and sold for a massive profit. We are neck and neck with the Washington Post- we've been mocked now on _every_ late night show out there, we're  _that_ big of a deal!”

“Your point, Logan? I really am tired and need to get to my hotel.”

“My point is that I’ve shown you that I deserve to be here, that I’ve earned my place professionally. But when it comes to my personal life, you and Mom are very politely invited to butt the hell out.” And with that Logan picked up his small weekender bag and walked out.

“Oh, and by the way, you’re right- it is Rory, it’s always been Rory. And for the record, without Rory, I’d probably still be that idiot Frat boy who only graduated college because you and mom bought Yale a new library or science building. Almost everything good I’ve ever done was because I was trying to be good enough for her and I’m on my way to that insane small town of hers and begging her to give us another try because in 11 years I’ve never felt a fraction for anyone what I feel about her; and I really hate myself because I haven't told her that. And if she gives me the chance, I will do everything in my power to make sure that she is _it_  for me. And if you and Mom can’t find a way to be thrilled for us, then _we,_ you and me and mom, don’t need to continue." He was at the door, pausing right next to Faith's desk when he looked back, his professional voice back. 

“Now, let me know how the conference in Amsterdam goes- I’m hearing some buzz about new tech that is supposed to debut there- give me a call if you need someone to explain it to you.” And with that he walked out of the office, waving at Faith, telling her to go ahead and take the rest of today and tomorrow off- he’d be off the grid- Stars Hollow had truly terrible service and he was _not_  looking for any distractions.

The ride to the airport was nothing but his phone ringing- calls from Mitchum, from his mom, a few from Honor- he texted her to let her know that he was fine but taking care of some things, and sent similar messages to Finn, Colin and Robert who wanted to know if it was all true (Finn asked if it meant that her sister was no longer off limits- classic, and he happily texted back 'Go for it man, but I'm telling you, she dyes it red. She'll break your heart in the end"). But the number of texts, emails from his parents and a few that may or may not have been from entertainment reporters was overwhelming his phone... and it went dead- which was fine, he didn’t need it on the plane, he’d charge it when he got to the Hollow.

Which is probably how he missed the new email message from RGilmore.


	9. Scary Front Doors and Terrifying Emails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or the one in which Luke and Logan have a very uncomfortable conversation. The scene I don't think anyone knew they desperately wanted.

It had been a long time since Logan had sweated the other side of a girl's door. But this door, Lorelai’s house, was one that had very mixed memories for him- he was honestly never sure what the reception on the other side would be like, and this was maybe the highest stakes it had been since the time he came to ask Lorelai for her blessing to propose. He had a suspicion that today was going to be quite a bit worse.

He knocked on the door, noting that something outside seemed different- a bigger porch maybe? He knew Luke lived here now- wondered briefly if Luke and Lorelai were ever going to get married- Rory had opined on that subject quite a bit over the last year, but the thought passed quickly as the door opened and he was confronted by the man himself- backwards baseball hat, blue flannel shirt and a look of surprise on his face.

“Logan?”

“Uh... Hey Luke, I’m uh- I’m looking for Rory, is she here? I went by the diner and she wasn’t there, I know that she may be writing at Richard's… at Emily’s, I guess, but I thought I'd check here first.” Why were his palms so sweaty? When he proposed to Odette his heart wasn't even fluttering!

And... Luke just stared at Logan. Making Logan run his hand through his hair, awkward in the silence.

“Yeah, I guess it is surprising to find me here, and I know it’s probably really unexpected, but I really need to see her, I need to talk to her, so if she isn’t here can you possibly tell me where she is? I just got in from London- it was a long flight and I’m pretty beat and it’s been a pretty crazy few days. I don’t know if you heard but I called off my wedding. Well, I guess you may not have even known that I was getting married- her name was Odette. I mean, her name IS Odette- she’s fine, she’s not like dead or anything, it just… it didn’t work out, it wasn’t right, and I uh- well, I really need to talk Rory, is she here? Do you know where she is?” Wow, this man would make a killing at his poker nights- he should invite him sometime- he'd absolutely cream Finn and Colin, they'd been standing there for what felt like 20 minutes and the man wasn’t moving.

“Luke?” For some reason that actually got the baseball-capped wearing man moving, he opened the outer screen door and gestured for him to come in as he remembered how to speak, inviting him to ask, 

“Do you want anything? Coffee or maybe some water- I know that when I fly, which is almost never, by the way- not much of a flyer, or a traveler actually- but I know that Lorelai has been wanting to go to Alaska for a while now, and I think that would be fine to drive to, but it would mean a lot of time off work, so flying would be more feasible, but…”

“Umm, coffee would be great… I mean, when at the Gilmore Home, coffee is the drink of choice, is it not?”

“Yeah, they do love their coffee- not me, I don’t like that much caffeine.” Logan followed him into the kitchen while Logan checked the freshness of the coffee in the pot- it must have been a practically new pot because he just poured him a mug- “Cream, sugar?”

“Umm, no, I’ll take it black, for now. Thanks.” He took a sip. “Good coffee, strong- I remember it well.” He took another sip, looking around, there was no sign of either Lorelai or Rory and no information was forthcoming from the serious man in a baseball cap.

“So- is Rory here? Or if not, do you know where she is?”

“What are _you_ doing here Logan?”

“No offense Luke, but that’s really between Rory and me and I’d really like to talk to her about it first.”

“Well, that’s nice for you, but I’m the one in the room that knows where she is and what she’s doing and I’m the one that’s been taking care of her since she was 8 and already drinking coffee- sure, mixed with cocoa, because for some reason her insane mother thought _that_ was an ok compromise... and so I feel like I've earned a few rights over the last 24 years of her life. So, I’d really like to know what the hell you’re doing here before I tell you anything.” Ok, so it was time to have a heart-to-heart with, honest-to-god, the biggest enigma of a person Logan had ever met- and he had met Steven Tyler, Yoko Ono and Donald Trump.

“Look, I don’t know what you know about me and Rory, but you’re with Lorelai, and since those two tell each other pretty much everything, I’m going to guess that you know a quite a bit of what’s been going on between us- we’ve been seeing each other for the last 15 months and I know it doesn’t look particularly good for me that I was engaged for a good portion of that time, but that wedding is off- it never should have been on in the first place- it was a family/business thing, not really a great love story. We just decided it was finally time to end the charade and get out before it got any worse… and now I really would like the opportunity to talk to her and… just… God, Luke, come on- one man to another, I’m insanely in love with her, I have been for about ⅓ of my life and I need to find her and talk to her and get her to understand that I’m here and I'm in this and I just… I want a chance. And I know there is a very real chance of pretty gut-wrenching humiliation at this point, that it's even possible she loathes me or has moved on to someone else and truly doesn't want to ever hear my name again, but I'm here, and I'm trying... so please, come on, tell me where can I find her?”

Luke picked up his glass of water and took a long drink, somehow without taking his eyes off Logan. “When was the last time you heard from her?”

“What? Why? Umm.... I don’t know, 6, almost 7 weeks ago?”

“She didn’t email you? Lorelai said she sent an email to you before she- before she left.”

“An email? No, what? I mean, I’ve been on a plane for 6 hours- but she left? Where did she go? Is she going to be back soon?”

“Have you checked your phone since you got off the plane?”

“What? No- I had a really long week and my phone died on the way to Heathrow- I fell asleep almost immediately on the flight- is… is everything ok?”

Luke sighed and looked up at the ceiling, muttering something like “Oh the things I do for you two…”

"Do you have a charger? For your phone? I mean, I’d give you Rory’s computer but I have no idea if it’s even here or how to access anything on it, and you probably have a laptop with you and could check your email that way, but then I’d need to know the wifi password for this place, but Lorelai keeps changing it to different Paul Anka song titles and I’m not as conversive really in Paul Anka’s discography as some people that I may happen to be married to, so I wouldn’t really be able to help you get online that way either- but if you can get a cell signal here, which according to Taylor, we just worked out a deal with a cell carrier to boost the signal, and April, my daughter, finally got me to install some new kind of signal boosting device…”

“Luke- I hate to interrupt you, but it sounds like there is an email waiting for me and I should probably grab my charger out of my bag and plug it in somewhere?”

“Right, yes, charger, bag… That’s probably a good idea. It’s just, I don’t know all the details, you know how those two are, and I was told that Rory sent you an email and it sounded like… well, it sounded like information you probably need to know. And then, once you know everything, if you still want to see her, then I’ll help you out.”

Ok, that was single-handedly one of the most confusing things Logan had ever heard in his entire life. Clearly something was going on, but it had only been 6 weeks- what could be so crazy? I mean, this was Ace they were talking about, there was no way she had run off and gotten married (what was that guy’s name again? Parker? Pike?) or been arrested or put in rehab… Trying to figure out what was going on, and trying to push down a certain tightening in his chest he moved to get his phone and a charger- he knew he should have gotten one of those spare battery things last time this happened, he thought about it, but he hadn’t and this was a pretty good example why he should- because then he’d know what was in this _magical,_ all enlightening email and he was not enjoying the mystery- not at all.

He grabbed the cord and moved back to the kitchen where Luke had pulled out two beers and a bottle of whiskey. He motioned quickly to the outlet where Logan could plug in his phone and just stood there, arms crossed, looking nervous and wary/protective/angry at the exact same time. Logan plugged in his phone, noting that his heart was picking up a bit and his palms were sweating- God, he was really starting to spin-out here- what the hell was going on? He’d try to throw around his family’s name, or plead with Luke, or try to appeal to his romantic nature as a guy in love, but this guy was 100% stone when it came to Rory- and he was honestly grateful for that, it was nice knowing she had Honeybadger Lorelai _and_  this guy looking out for her.

His phone started to wake up and he noticed Luke was doing a thing with his fists and hands, snapping his fingers in between hitting the palm and fist together…

“Do you want a beer? Or, I found some bourbon- Lorelai tends to prefer gin, but Rory and Jess- do you remember my nephew Jess? Wait, would you have known him? I honestly don’t remember if you would have ever met him- anyways, they like to drink bourbon together, so there was some here, if you want.”

“No, seriously, I’m good.” Jess- was that where she was? Had she finally gotten back together with that guy? He always thought there might be some unresolved issues there, was all of this, right now, Luke’s way of saying she was seeing that Kerouac wannabe? Sure, he'd always been so literary, so "Pony Boy" from _The Outsiders_... He was totally motorcycles, Vonnegut and Kerouac, road tripping across the country in a vintage car and making love in meadows while drinking table wine or cheap beer- what woman doesn't want that? He had the soul of an artist- god, he probably did black and white polaroid photography or something like that- he was what every girl wanted. Not the spoiled Eli, heir to a business empire that never quite managed to get his shit together enough to tell the love of his life  _exactly_ how he felt. 

His email popped up on the screen, how could he possibly have 300+ emails in 10 hours? And then he saw that, yep, he _did_ have an email from her. “Oh, you were right, I do have a message from her, looks like it came in right about when I got on the plane- I guess that makes sense, that's right around when my phone died and I just didn't really care- it was kind of nice to get the last 7 or 8 hours of real quiet.” He tried to smile, so nervous about what this email might say. Was she in love with someone else? Did she totally hate him?

While Logan was trying to get his phone to boot up and get into his email- damn security protocol, constantly felt like his phone took an 20 minutes every time he had to update the damn thing. In the meantime, had he noticed from not staring at the phone, silently cursing it, he would have seen that Luke was looking more and more uncomfortable, “You know what? I’ll give you a minute to yourself. Umm, beer is here, and uh, whiskey is here… I don’t know if you’d prefer but Lorelai usually has wine in the fridge and there is usually gin in the freezer and I’m going to just… I'm going to take Paul Anka to Babette’s house- she’s the next door neighbor, you know, she has all those garden gnomes? I’ll be back.. probably in like five minutes? Just uh…” and with that Luke practically ran out of the room but Logan honestly completely forgot he was even in the house (which he wasn't, he had left the front door open entirely, but Logan was kind of absorbed) as he read the email from Rory.

He initially smiled, her rambling about Virginia Wolfe and Emily Post and imagining her sitting on her exact porch in Stars Hollow in gloves and a big hat and flowing dress, writing letters or reading something so archaic but culturally interesting in the porch swing, that made him smile.

Then he got to the part about how much she loved him, her regrets about not telling him? They made his heart hammer in his chest, his skin got hot and he knew his face was going to hurt tomorrow from how big the smile was.

And then... the kicker.

“Holy fucking shit.” He reread the letter three times before he stood up and poured himself a generous portion of the bourbon on the counter, downing it immediately before he reached over and poured himself another fairly large glass to sip on as he waited for Luke to come back. He heard the door open, footsteps in the house, he heard Luke walk into the room and open a beer before sitting down across from him at the table.

“She’s pregnant?” Why did he ask that, he had never,  _ever,_ had a reason to doubt Ace, if she said she was- she was. 

“That’s what I was told.” Luke nodded as he took a swig of his beer and nodded. He clearly wasn’t particularly excited about what was happening while he eyed Logan _very_  carefully. But Logan was still pretty much in shock and didn't really notice it.

“It’s mine.”

“Again, that’s what I was told.” And Luke was still nodding.

“But she loves me.” Somehow, at this moment, that was the thing that was sticking out to Logan- she apparently wished she had told him to leave Odette, she says she wants to be with him, thats she’s in love with him. And Logan _knew_ he wasn’t going to be able to stop the smile as it just took over his face. “She’s in love with me, Rory is in love with me?”

He’s pretty sure he heard something from Luke about “God help us all” but Logan didn’t really care. Rory Gilmore was in love with him and she was pregnant- with his kid, this was… wow, this was a lot. It was a lot going on...

“Wait, where is she?”  He looked up at Luke who suddenly went back to his very protective face.

“She’s in the hospital.”

“What? Is everything ok? Is it Emily, is Emily alright?” He knew Rory, if something happened to Emily this close to what happened to Richard, she was going to be an absolute wreck and he just stood there- looking immediately for his wallet and keys. Shit! He hadn’t wanted to wait to deal with a rental car at the airport so he just had a service bring him out here, he didn’t have a car with him. Granted, not one of his best plans, but he didn’t like that he was going to have to wait 20 minutes to get a driver there to take him to the hospital to see Rory.

“No, it’s not Emily- Emily is in Nantucket… I think. She’s supposed to be in Nantucket, but she’s been popping back _a lot_ more often than we expected now that the museum is closed for winter.” Ok, that was a sentence to unpack, but later, Logan could keep that in the back of his head to ask Rory about later.

“Well if Emily is fine, who is in the hospital?”

“Ok, I can see this isn’t going to be easy- and I can’t leave because I’m supposed to wait for Liz to drop off Doula so we can watch over her next few days while Liz and TJ prep for the circuit, because it is _precisely_ as fun to have family living here as I always thought it would be.” Why was the angry baseball-cap man speaking gibberish right now and seemingly cursing someone who wanted family to live nearby? But Luke walked over to his wallet and grabbed his keys-

“Here, take my keys, she’s at St. Agnes, it’s about 15 miles south on the interstate.”

“Wait, Ace is the one in the hospital?”

“Don’t worry, I mean, of course you're going to worry, but Lorelai is with her. I’ve been told she’s fine, she's hopefully out tonight, in the next few hours, they were just checking on something… If it was something terrible you can bet your ass I’d be there and Liz and TJ could _pay_ for a sitter.”

Again, Logan wasn’t sure that he had heard most of what Luke said. The fact of the matter was that Rory was in the hospital and there were keys being thrown at him. He moved towards the door, not really understanding what was going on, but knowing he needed to go somewhere. He stopped at the doorway and looked back at Luke- who must have looked awfully bad because Luke muttered something again and picked up his wallet before walking towards Logan. “Just give me a minute ok? You’re not driving, I’ll take you.” Logan hurried next door and knocked, spending a moment talking to the woman next door about something as Logan moved to sit in the truck’s passenger seat- this was not GOING like he’d planned.

_____________________________________

Lorelai was sleeping upright in what was likely the most uncomfortable chair in the history of sitting when she heard the buzz of her phone telling her she had a text… from Babette.

“Doll- it’s Babette!” Because Babette still didn’t understand how text messages work. “Luke just dropped off Paul Anka and was heading your way- not sure what that means, but he wanted me to tell you that- I’ll have the little pumpkin here when you get back.” Huh, Luke was coming to the hospital? She wanted to know what changed- why was Babette going to watch Doula?

She looked over at Rory, sleeping in the bed, machines humming, medicines pumping into her. Man did she need coffee- if there was a God, she was the reason Luke was coming to visit- a major caffeine fix seemed appropriate.


	10. Explanations All Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, the one where Logan faints.

“Rory Gilmore? No, wait… Umm, she’s Lorelai Leigh Gilmore in your system, she’s here, somewhere- I don’t know exactly, she was sick and…”

“Are you family?”

“What?”

“Are you family?” The nurse at the station was no joke- she wasn’t large- well, she was tall, but not super muscular, but she had a look that was intimidating enough that it might actually cow Mitchum (and for just a second Logan was distracted by that thought enough that he wanted to ask her to teach it to him) but then someone came up behind and said, “Rory Gilmore, I’m her stepfather, this is the... father, what room is she in?”

And with that Logan turned completely white, all the blood rushing from his system, he heard some kind of loud whooshing noise, kind of like putting his ear up to a conch shell and then… a few moments later he was on the floor, Luke next to him and the scary nurse looking back at him, holding up fingers and asking his name while shining a light in his eye.

“Where the hell is Rory?” The nurse pulled back, this guy seemed fine and they didn’t think he had actually hit his head, the guy in the baseball hat seemed to catch him before he fell.

“Whoa, you ok there? You just passed out.” Logan looked around, trying to remember what the hell was happening in this all too Daliesque day of his life. He was obviously in a hospital, and those weren’t British accents either… wait, Odette… Mitchum… Plane… Rory- pregnant. Wait, Rory was pregnant. He flew across the ocean after screaming at his dad, and found out  Rory did indeed love him, but was also pregnant, with his child. He was going to be father. Oh, that’s right- he was going to be a dad, that was pretty much what had lead to him being on the ground right now.

He started to sit up, waving away the other nurses and Luke, who had so thoughtfully caught his fall before he got a massive concussion or something. The fall that happened when he fainted when he was told he was going to be a father. Wait… or was he? Her email said that she was pregnant, but it didn’t explain what she was planning to do about it- I mean, he was engaged to marry someone else- how could he possibly blame her if she didn’t intend to keep the baby? Oh god, did he want her to? What if it was too late? Was that why she was in the hospital? Granted he didn’t really know anything about the actual process, was it something you did in a hospital?

Then again, what if she did want to keep the baby? How did he feel about that? Wow, all of a sudden he was feeling lightheaded again… someone noticed and shouted for him to put his head between his knees and Luke asked for some juice of some kind. Good Lord, he was next to the Grizzly Outdoor man and had passed out 1 ½ times in the last 5 minutes, this did not bode well for their future relationship. He pushed away hands, accepted a child’s orange juice box and moved to stand up slowly.

Logan and he did a silent exchange and while Logan would maybe never know what made Logan cave, but the next thing he heard was, “She’s in room 416, right down the hall, past the elevators- Lorelai is with her.” And with that, Logan was off.

___________________________

There was a tap at the door that woke up Lorelai in her horrible chair- seriously Franco or Mussolini could have used these as torture devices, the words cruel and inhumane were running through her head.

And then, at the other side of that door was Logan. A very pale, very scared looking version of the guy she had last seen over a decade ago. In all fairness, it was pretty easy to see what Rory saw in him, could he remind her more of Christopher- at least in looks? He had the prep school, rich boy, trouble maker charm that would almost put a 17-year-old Christopher Hayden to shame! And while Lorelai was never Logan’s biggest fan, she was adult enough to admit that was more about watching Rory run back towards that life Lorelai had fought so hard to get away from. Oh, and the yacht stealing incident, the being engaged to another woman while sleeping with Rory, his father- Mitchum, his mother, Shira… Oh, and that ultimatum when she turned down his proposal? What was that? The girl was 22- would he have wanted to get married at 22 and fresh out of college?  

And yet… Rory loved him. Rory loved him like she hadn’t loved anyone else in a decade and it had been nice to see her that kind of happy again over the last year.

She’d drifted for years, her career had kind of ebbed and flowed since the Obama campaign- she had highs and lows, which was obviously normal for journalists of her caliber… but there had never been another guy that put that kind of smile on her face. Lorelai hated that she didn’t know that Deedee was Logan, because she should have known that Rory’s recent happiness was vintage Logan- her smiling and singing around the house (when she was home, which was never often enough) wasn’t because of Naomi Shropshire or _The New Yorker_ or that guy...,Packer? Pete? DAMMIT, what was that guy’s name?

And as Lorelai processed all of that, she looked up at Logan’s face- his terror written so plainly on it, and she smiled. It wasn’t a full smile that reached her eyes, but enough that he felt like he could walk into the room and over to her bed.

“She’s asleep?” He asked her, not knowing what he would say if she said it was something bad.

“Yeah, she hasn’t been able to keep much down the last week… it looks like Morning Sickness has been kind of a bitch to her- they want her on fluids for a while and they’re trying to figure out what’s going on. They gave her some kind of industrial strength drugs for the nausea, they knocked her out pretty good about an hour ago.”

He walked towards Rory, just lying in that bed and suddenly thought, had he ever seen her sick? She’d nursed him after that idiotic Costa Rica adventure, but aside from one or two minor colds and the occasional hangover, he didn’t think he’d ever seen her less than chipper and perfect- which did not make him feel any better about her being asleep, wearing the ugliest cotton print hospital gown- some kind of pinkish color with rosebuds on it… She was pale, and not her creamy porcelain skin pale, but kind of gloomy and pasty. This was not something he was particularly ready to handle- the last two hours had really done a number on his emotions and he couldn’t quite stop himself from tearing up- but he tried to surreptitiously wipe them away and hide them from Lorelai.

“She’s thin. She looks like she lost weight- shouldn’t she be gaining weight?” He wasn’t looking at Lorelai so she sat back, he seemed to be having a conversation with himself more than with her. She had to give him credit- he was here, and she didn’t have a single doubt that he loved her daughter as much as Lorelai would hope for Rory and her kid. But there was that one thing that she couldn’t quite forget about.

“Get a weekend off from the fiance, Logan?” He sighed, knowing it was a fair question and he may as well just deal with it now.

“Odette and I are over. We never should have been together, we both knew it, but she was the one brave enough to actually stand up to our parents and end it. And then I just… i jumped on a plane to come and see Rory, to tell her that I’m in love with her, that she’s the only woman I’ve ever really been in love with and I just want to be with her… and then I got here and I found out that she’s pregnant… and then of course, I passed out, and then _a_ _lmost_ passed out a second time and if I’m being really honest it’s been a very strange and sudden few days and I would really like someone to tell me what the fuck is going on with Rory!?”

Lorelai had bags under her eyes, and her eyes seemed a little bloodshot- she must have done a little crying at some point- which made Logan feel a little bad for yelling just now, but he really thought he was going to go crazy if he didn’t get at least _some_ answers soon.

“I don’t really know, we’ve been here for hours and I barely spoke with the doctor. I’ve seriously been contemplating calling my mother and asking her to make a call- she’s much better at throwing around her weight than I’ve ever been.”

“Oh, don’t worry- I’ll put in some calls-  I’m sure one of my family’s groups or Foundations has donated something here- a lab of some kind or a Cancer Ward.”

“Wow, impressive... throwing around Cancer Ward weight.”

“It’s Rory- I’d throw around Hulk Hogan if I had to and thought it would help.”

And that was the thing- that was what made Lorelai insane. She _wanted_ to hate this guy- had _always_ wanted to, but she had to admit that when push came to shove? He was there. He was far from perfect, and probably not the guy she would have picked for her daughter… well, definitely not the guy she would have picked… and she knew that whenever there was distance between Rory and Logan? Well, that was probably a lot more because Rory was her mother’s daughter- stubborn and determined and independent and likely to push away good things in her life.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or do I have to go slip $1000 to a nurse? After all, I’ve been told recently that I am the father.” She almost didn’t realize he was still talking to her as she studied him, trying to figure out what to do but the way that his voice caught on the word “father”...

That made her get up and walk over to him and hug him. And when she pulled back from the hug she took one his hands, squeezing his hand to reassure him.

“Rory wrote you that email and started throwing up again- after about 10 days of throwing up around the clock, we tried a lot of things to calm the nausea, but she was losing weight and she was pale and we didn’t know what to do. Luke and I are supposed to go on our Honeymoon this weekend, up to Maine, but I think you know that there is no way either of us would leave her right now when she’s so sick and spending ⅓ of her day on the tiled floor of our bathroom. So we finally talked her into letting us bring her here- if nothing else for the fluids, she’s lost so much weight, and like you said, she shouldn’t be losing weight like that right now.”

“Because she’s pregnant?” He looked at her, wondering if it was possible to know what Rory was planning with this baby from Lorelai’s face.

“Pretty sure the 8 pregnancy tests she took weren’t lying- she’s good and knocked up." The silence was heavy and Lorelai was oddly happy for the company, watching her daughter lying in a hospital bed was not her favorite thing she'd ever done. And she really didn't have any more answers to give him about what was happening, nor was she entirely sure where Rory was in terms of what she was going to do about this pregnancy in general. So basically, she had time on her hands and not much to do other than grill Logan- she'd feel better if she could finally get some answers out of him.

 "Soooo, it's been a while. What’s new with you?”

“Ummm, I feel like I’ve filled you in on that- broken engagement, desperate attempt to get the love of my life back, and apparently, possibly impending fatherhood? That's pretty much what I've been dealing with." The seconds dragged on. "Oh, I saw Hamilton a couple of weeks ago.”

“Rory took the soundtrack off my computer- she said I abused it and it wasn't fair to the writer, the cast or the Founding Fathers. I probably shouldn't have started doing the Schuylers Sister's Work thing all the time.” They were just sitting there, Logan watching Rory, Loreleai watching him, neither sure what to say- but Logan though he'd give it a shot anyways.

“Look, Lorelai, I know that you have some pretty mixed feelings about me- and I have no idea what is happening between me and Rory, except that I know how I feel about her. She is it for me- she’s the girl I’ve loved for more than a decade- it’s possible that some day I’m going to have to actually give up on the idea of us… but I did that once because I was a stubborn and insecure idiot and I was miserable for 10 years- so I’m really hoping she doesn’t push me away again. In light of that, and this baby, do you think that maybe we can try some kind of detente? It's even possible that one day you'll genuinely come to find me- Im actually a pretty decent guy. Even more so when Rory is around- pushing me.”

Lorelai shifted in her chair, thinking about how much she wanted coffee while looking at Logan. She was alucky mom- even when Rory broke her arm, she had actually never been admitted to the hospital, Lorelai had never seen her lying in a hospital gown in a bed like, asleep with tubes and beeping machines and all that. And this whole sitiuation- her, Rory, Logan, the baby was making her feel so conflicted- she wanted to play Mama Tiger to her cub right now, but this time things seemed different… when would she know that it was time to let go, even just a little bit and let Logan step in? Why didn’t kids come with a how-to guide? She was just looking at Logan, trying to decide what to say to him when she heard,

  
“Mom? _Logan_?”


	11. More Twists Than O'Henry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory and Logan talk... Logan has an ephiphany... And Paris Gellar makes her brilliant return.

_Previously:_

_Lorelai shifted in her chair, thinking about how much she wanted coffee while looking at Logan. She was alucky mom- even when Rory broke her arm, she had actually never been admitted to the hospital, Lorelai had never seen her lying in a hospital gown in a bed like, asleep with tubes and beeping machines and all that. And this whole sitiuation- her, Rory, Logan, the baby was making her feel so conflicted- she wanted to play Mama Tiger to her cub right now, but this time things seemed different… when would she know that it was time to let go, even just a little bit and let Logan step in? Why didn’t kids come with a how-to guide? She was just looking at Logan, trying to decide what to say to him when she heard,_

  
_“Mom? Logan ?”_

 

They both moved to her immediately, Lorelai standing at the foot of the bed and Logan standing awkwardly to the side, not at all sure where he belonged in this situation. It was weird to see the boy without his usual cocky attitude… but it also made her feel like maybe she needed to help him out, just a little. As she looked at the confusion on Rory's face and the concern on his, maybe three was a crowd.

“You know, Luke was out by the nurse’s station, I think he was trying his luck with the tall blonde scary lady behind the desk, trying to score me some coffee. What can I say, the key to a happy marriage is keeping me caffeinated. So… I’m just going to step out there and meet up with him… walk around the hospital a minute, stretch my legs, see the sights… We’ll ah, be back in a bit.”

Logan barely registered that she was talking, he hadn’t looked away from Rory, she had always looked so cute when she woke up, her hair a little messy and her lashes fluttering as she yawned and stretched… But right now she just looked so miserable he couldn’t help himself from walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it, tentatively taking her hand.

“How you feeling, Ace?”

“Oh, you know, peachy… was thinking of a few rounds of water polo this afternoon.”

“I don’t think there are rounds in water polo.”

“Oh no, you got me- after all these years you finally know that I am not a water polo aficionado.” She cracked a weak smile at him and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Sorry Ace, I sort of suspected for a while now.” He squeezed her hand. “So. That was quite the email you sent me. But I gotta say, as one journalist to another, I sort of feel like you buried the lead.”

“I didn’t bury the lead, it’s called building a narrative.”

“Oh, that’s right, you’re an author now, your J days are behind you.”

“Something like that. Although, right now I’m not really feeling well enough to do either. Can you hand me that glass of water?” She sipped slowly, he watched and she refused to look at him.

“So, do we want to talk about the elephant in the room?”

“Which one?”

“Dealer’s choice?”

“What are you doing here, Logan?”

“Oh you know, I was in the Hollow, checking in with Taylor and Ms. Patty and Kirk."

"Starting a band?"

"Oh you know, I think we'll be bigger than the Beatles. But then, after band practice I realized it would be rude not to just stop by and check in on my favorite girl.”

“And your fiance is ok with that?”

“Odette and I ended it. It’s kind of a long story, but we had a bit of a wakeup call and realized that we were being idiots and just because our parents did the mostly loveless marriage thing, it didn’t mean we wanted that for ourselves. So she called it off. She’s moving to Italy, actually, for her dream job and I got on the first flight out of London to come see you. When I showed up at your door, Luke let me in, told me to check my email and…”

“And now you’re here?” She looked so small and fragile and also kind of scared, but then her smile was starting to creep across her face as she processed everything he just said.

“And now I’m here.” He felt his smile just from seeing her’s, he loved her smile, it always just turned him to jello inside. He took her hand back in his and rubbed the back of it with his thumb like he always used to.

“Wait.” She sat up, well, as much as she could with all the tubes in her and everything- he had to gently push her back down and remind her to use the remote for the bed to raise her to sitting instead. “You read the email at my house? In Stars Hollow?”

“Yeah?” He was confused.

“So you came to Stars Hollow without the letter? You didn’t know about… anything?”

“I came to Stars Hollow because all I knew is that you are, unquestionably, the love of my life and I really don’t want to spend anymore time denying that or being away from you. When I got here and I found out you had written me, and that you love me and you wished you had asked me to end things with Odette I got so excited that I almost stopped reading the email right then and there- although it’s probably a good thing I didn’t, because there was quite the twist ending to it.”

“Yeah… it was a pretty big surprise to me too.”

“This is… I mean, this is big. Do you… what are your thoughts on it?”

“What are yours?”

“Normally I would point out that I asked you first, Ace, but you look like you’re about to get really sick and it’s got me a bit worried so I want you to lie back down a little bit, can you do that for me?” She sighed out, nodding, because she really did feel pretty lousy- the anti-nausea meds must be wearing off. “Do you need more meds or maybe a doctor or some crackers?”

“Can you just press the button for a nurse, I think more meds would be good- no crackers. Crackers do NOT work for me.” Ok, good to know. She laid back down and tried to get comfortable while he pushed the button for a nurse and asked for more anti-nausea medication for her while she settled into the sad, flat hospital pillows. He should look into getting her into a suite or something- did this hospital have suites? It wasn’t exactly a big one… maybe he should have her moved to Mercy in the city, or Mt. Sinai. Who had the best pre-natal care unit? He had a lot of Googling to do to find out… if they were going to do this.

And all of a sudden, it hit him- he really, really wanted her to go through with this. He _wanted_ a gorgeous little dark haired, blue eyed Gilmore Girl- they could go out for trips to his family’s house in Martha’s Vineyard, having clambakes and building sand castles and going for walks to look at birds and find crabs… He wanted to read Dr. Seuss and braid hair and take her to her first day of Kindergarten... he wanted to look for monsters under the bed and have movie nights with heinous amounts of junk food and horrible movies, snuggled up to Rory and their kid... 

“Logan? Hello, Logan, where are you?” Rory was looking at him strangely and he realized that he’d just kind of spun out on her.

“Sorry about that, I guess I just..." What? Had a transcendental experience? And he was smiling and thought, fuck it, just tell her Huntzberger! "Wow. I seriously didn’t know until this exact moment, but I _want_ to be a dad- and I really want _us_ to be a family. I know it’s not the world’s best timing, and we obviously have to figure out what’s going on right now that you’re so sick, because I don’t want to do anything that’s actually going to risk your health... But... yeah, wow, I _really, really_ want this. I want to do _this_ , _with you_.” He was smiling and he was tearing up and he realized that she was smiling back at him and crying just a little bit as she reached out and took both of his hands in hers.

“I was really, really hoping you were going to say something like that- I just, I didn’t want to let myself think it was a possibility, but I really want this baby… but I didn’t want this baby to grow up like I did with my dad just sporadically involved and I swear, I meant what I said about not wanting this to ruin things for you and Odette, but…” And he just cut her off as he pulled her face to his and kissed her lips- softer than he would have liked, she was sick after all, he wanted to be careful, but he also needed to show her how much he loved her and how excited he was and for all that he was actually a very smart man and a really talented writer- sometimes even he couldn’t find the words.

He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, “I love you, Ace.”

“I love you too, Logan. I know we have some things that we need to figure out, and I know that it’s not going to be the least complicated thing ever- I mean, you’re in London and I’m… well, nowhere I guess, but there are logistical issues and…” He cut her off again with another kiss,

“It’s fine, Ace. We’ll figure it all out together- everything is going to be just fine, we’re just going to focus on dealing with figuring out why you’re so sick right now and what we can do to fix it and then we’ll worry about the rest, ok? Right now, getting you better is all we're going to think about, ok?” She just smiled and nodded back at him, lying back, feeling exhausted even though she’d only been awake for ten minutes. Just as she was starting to doze off, Lorelai was in the room.

  
“Sorry to bust in on what looks like a really lovely reunion, but she’s parking and she’ll be here in just a minute if her flying monkeys don’t get here first… And since she only found out about the pregnancy about two hours ago, I would suggest we all get situated and comfy for the tirade we’re in for.”

“What? Who’s sending flying monkeys? Emily?” Logan felt really behind, but the only person that Lorelai usually talked about like that was her mother. And then they all heard it, the shrill, demanding voice, the condescension dripping from it. The over pronunciation of words and names as though no one she spoke to understood English.

“Ro-ry Gil-more- she was admitted earlier this afternoon to your _lovely_ facility here, for God's sake, I hope that your equipment is more current than that limp ferret over your lip that you’re confusing for a moustache.” Logan just looked over at mother and daughter, not sure what to say.

“Paris?” Rory just looked back and shrugged at him.

“She’s honestly one of the best on the East Coast…” But she was cut off by the whirlwind that was Paris.

“Gilmore, you’re pregnant? You didn’t think that this was worth mentioning any of the dozens of times we talked the last few weeks? And who, by the way is the father?”

And then she stopped, since the rant had started before she had even been in the room or seen Rory, she obviously had no way to know Logan was there. Now that she did, and the way that Logan was on the bed, holding Rory’s hand, and Paris being a pretty smart cookie…

“Of course, Huntzberger- Why am I even surprised to find out that you’re involved in this? My, my, my, what does Eurotrash Barbie have to say about this lovechild situation? Not that I would imagine it's the first time you've found yourself in this delightful pickle- although it may be the first time Daddy can't buy your way out of it. But tell me, are you thinking of telling Barbie _before_ or _after_ the wedding?”

“Hi Paris, nice to see you again- you look great, your hair is fantastic. How’s Doyle and the kids?”

“Oh shove it- we both know that I don’t find you nearly as charming as you do.” A nurse came in, almost shaking at being in such close proximity to this force of nature in the room. She handed Paris a file and ran out of the room as fast as possible, hoping that she wouldn’t even be noticed by the scary woman yelling at everyone.

“Now let’s see, Rory, you’re about 7 weeks pregnant? And you went to _another_ OB to confirm? How many times do I have to tell you, you can’t trust just any doctor, no one comes near your uterus but me, from now on- got it?”

“Yes, Paris. I understand. Now, can you tell me why I haven’t been able to keep anything down for over a week- cause I really miss food.”

“I’m looking Gilmore, hold on… this ridiculous excuse for a hospital has a particularly puzzling system and I’m trying to figure out what I’m even looking at…” She scanned through the folder, pulling out pieces of paper and huffing out loud as she re-orders them, mumbling about how her four year old could put together a better system than this. And then she found the actual result or factoid that she had been looking for and looked up at them in disgust.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me with this!” And with that she walked out of the room and started shouting for a sonogram machine to be brought to the room. “If you have one that was made AFTER Reagan was president, that would be just super by the way.”

And before anyone really knew what was going on, she was in the room, pulling on bright blue rubber gloves, there was a sonogram machine being rolled next to the bed and Logan was being relocated off the bed to stand on the other side of Rory. “Ok, so I can’t guarantee anything, it’s really early days to hear anything, but if I’m right, we just might get lucky… of course, if we were in _my_ office, my equipment could do it, who knows if this machine could even pick up  _my_ heartbeat… Now, Rory, I’m going to need you to lose your panties and spread your legs for me.”

“Oh, wow, I hope that isn’t the script from the night all of this happened.” Lorelai joked in the corner as Rory turned bright pink and looked at Logan, who interpreted it as “I know you’re familiar with this area, but _please_ turn around during this”, squeezed her hand and turned while Paris repositioned a sheet over her so Rory had a touch of modesty as she turned on the machine.

“Umm, Paris, hon- I think this is great, and, wow, it’s always fun watching my little girl with her best friend’s hand up her like a puppet, but would you mind cluing us in to what’s going on? Is something wrong? Are we worried about the baby? Are we looking for aliens? Or maybe Lindsay Lohan’s acting career? Cause Paris, hon, I’m really going to need something before I lose it on you.” Lorelai piped in, Rory and Logan were obviously a little bit in overwhelmed mode and looked like they’d forgotten how to form words.

“I don’t think anything is _wrong_ per se, aside from my best friend getting knocked up by Daddy’s Boy Ken Doll over here because he obviously can’t keep it in his pants _or_ use a fucking condom.”

“Hey!” They both said back to her but she just sent them a withering look in that way only she could- and continued to move the wand while staring at the screen, clearly looking for something specific.

“I noticed that the doctor pulled her HCG levels- that's the pregnancy hormone, and they're kind of off the charts. Really high HCG levels often correlate with a few things, 1) Hyperemesis Gravidarum- or basically the world’s worst morning sickness; and the other is what I’m trying to determine right now and I think...I have…” The room got quiet except for a weird thumping noise coming from the machine- it sounded like…

“So, that’s a fetal heartbeat right there- it’s fast, it’s strong, that’s good…" Rory and Logan looked at each other, tears in their eyes- their baby had a heartbeat. Wow. They looked at each other and Logan squeezed her hand and if Paris wasn't there, and doing _that_ , he'd probably have grabbed her and kissed her. But Paris was still working.  "And then…” she moved the wand just a little bit, still staring at the machine- clearly the wavy lines meant something, but Logan had absolutely no idea what; and then he heard it, another thumping noise, it sounded exactly like the last one. Had she moved back to the baby? “Yep, I was right- of course I was… that’s another heartbeat.”

Rory’s eyes got really wide, something dawning on her, her skin went pale- well, paler and her mouth hung open and Logan was just confused.

“Wait, I’m sorry, are you saying that the baby has two hearts? Is that possible? What can we do about it? Is that really dangerous?” Paris just looked at Rory,

“Really? 6 billion people in this world and you get knocked up by that genius?” Then all of a sudden it hit Logan. Two heart beats, two hearts… two babies.

“Twins? We’re having twins?” Paris just nodded her head and he looked at Rory who leaned over the side of the bed and threw up… all over Logan’s shoes.


	12. Gearheads and Greasers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, Lorelai finally gets to rant.

About an hour after Rory erupted all over Logan’s $2,000 shoes and he just held Rory’s hair back, whispering in her ear and rubbing light circles in her back, Lorelai left the dazed but exhausted parents-to-be in Rory’s bed, asleep, smushed together on that tiny hospital bed- their hands laced together over Rory’s belly. Lorelai couldn’t help herself from taking a quick picture of it, it was so sweet- Logan and she may have had a slightly complicated relationship in the past (ok, it wasn’t exactly complicated- he was a mostly good guy with a tough family who loved her daughter,, but between “keeping it casual” and stealing a yacht and having an affair while engaged, she wasn’t exactly designing #TeamRogan shirts in her spare time), but she had to admit that he seemed to be stepping up quite a bit right now.  

She closed the door softly behind her, not wanting to wake either of them up, and walked over to the small waiting area where Luke was holding a cup of coffee- bless the wonderful man. She took the cup and sat down, letting out a pretty impressive breath while doing so. 

“Well, I think they’re settled in for a little bit of rest- it’s been a bit of whirlwind of a day for them. Hey, thanks for handling him back at the house so well- I don’t really know what I would have done if he had just shown up on the porch and I was there without Rory.”

“I’m sure you would have been a bit more collected than I was. Once I realized he didn’t know about the pregnancy, I pretty much kept muttering about all the different beverage choices in the house and then bolted out the front door to walk Paul Anka. I completely forgot to put on my jacket and didn’t even remember to shut the door behind me.”

“Well, it was a lot of information to be in charge of delivering, but I think you did just fine. And I know Rory is really glad that you brought him by so quickly. And since you had  _ my  _ car at the house I’m really glad you didn’t let him drive here. I don’t even know if he knows how to drive stick.”

“Last time I saw him he was driving an Aston Martin, they only come in Manual.”

“You haven’t seen him in like 10 years, how do you remember what he was driving? I had no idea you were such a car guy.”

“I’m  _ not  _ a car guy, I just don’t know many people who drive Aston Martins- and it was brand new, like barely out of the concept stage brand new…”

“Oh my God, Luke Danes is a closet Gear Head, I had no idea. How have you hidden this from me for so long? What? Do you have a secret stash of Car & Driver magazines that you keep in the storage room to read through and daydream about on those late nights when you’re supposedly  _ waiting for deliveries?” _ Lorelai did the finger quote thing that Luke always rolled his eyes at. 

“I do not have any secret stashes in the storage room and I’m not a gearhead.”

“I just can’t believe that after all this time, my husband- the man I married, has a secret obsession for fancy schmancy cars.” He just looked at her for a moment at that, she thought he was about to rant about something but instead his eyes got a little soft and he smiled.

“You know, that might be the first time you called me your husband in a rant?”

“What? That can’t be right! I’ve been calling you my husband every morning when I come into the diner, seeking sustenance.”

“Yes, but it’s always slightly mocking, like ‘hello, my husband, bring forth my sustenance.’- it’s very intentional and dramatic. But what you did just now was more… I don’t know… instinctual- like it’s settled. Like, it’s just… It’s right.” She took his hand and smiled at him, hooking her other arm through his elbow and taking a sip of her coffee without taking her eyes off him. 

“It is right, Luke- it should have happened long ago and it feels  _ really  _ good to be able to rant to  _ my husband _ about things.” They just sat there, enjoying a quiet moment- still very much in their honeymoon phase, enjoying the newfound feeling of comfortable, married bliss. After a few minutes Luke finally broke the silence.

“So, Rory’s pregnant. With twins. And Logan is the father. Everytime I think that I’ve processed that information it kind of seems to just hit me all over again and I’m thinking about her first day at Chilton or moving her into Yale with that damn mattress, that by the way, is STILL in my storage unit, despite certain promises you made.”

“You think  _ you’re  _ having trouble processing it? At least you’re picturing her at 18, I’m still picturing her in her ballet recital when she was 7! Wow, she really did stink at ballet.”

“Well, how are you holding up with all of this? I mean, it sounds like they’re on board with this whole thing- So, they’re going to… what? Be a family? Are they going to get married? And where are they going to live- in London? I just can’t imagine them being so far away from you while she’s pregnant, but his job is there and I’m fine if she wants to stay with us, in the house, but it’s going to get a little tight- especially if he’s visiting, or when she has the baby- I knew I should have bought the Twickham house- or you should have let me add another room onto the house, maybe make the kitchen a bit bigger- I should have known this would happen.”

“Whoa, Luke, slow down. You should have known that 12 years into the future Rory was going to get pregnant with twins by Logan while he was still living in London and she would want to raise them in our house? I think you’re putting a little bit of pressure on yourself and your future-seeing capabilities.”

“I just- seriously, Lorelai, how are you so calm about this? Rory isn’t technically my daughter and I’m freaking out about this one, but ever since you found out you’ve been just as mellow as Kirk after he accidentally ingests Cat Kirk’s catnip!”

“I don’t know, Luke, I just… look, my feelings aren’t really what matters here- I’m just trying to be supportive of Rory and let her work through it all in her own way… and I’m trying  _ really  _ hard to be here for her in a way that no one was for me. I want her to be able to talk to me, I don’t want to be judgey or scared, cause even though she’s twice the age I was when I had her, I have a feeling any single girl finding out she’s pregnant and possibly alone… it can’t feel that different, whether you're 16 or 32.” And with that Lorelai got up and started walking, pacing sort of, talking with her hands enough that Luke was contemplating taking the coffee cup away from her before she spilled it.

“I mean, do I  _ love  _ that my daughter got knocked up by a guy that was engaged at the time their child… no, strike that, children were conceived? Not really. Am I over the moon that it’s with Logan Huntzberger, a guy that is so ridiculously like her father in some ways that I’m terrified he’s going to be faced with actual commitment for the first time in his life and high tail it out of here with his Life and Death Brigade buddies and find another foreign heiress and break the hearts of my daughter and her two children? Am I angry with myself that my daughter loves this guy with every little corner of her giant heart and I’ve seen that he feels the same way about her and I’m  _ still-  _  having  _ any  _ anti-Logan thoughts? 

“Because that sounds like classic Emily Gilmore to me- and I’m telling you, I really do not have the shoulders to pull off those checkered suit jackets she’s so incredibly fond of. I don’t look good in shoulder pads or epaulets or giant, gaudy earrings…” And then Lorelai froze, mid-pace, “Oh. My. God. I’m my mother! I’m Emily Gilmore! When did this happen? I mean… I love my daughter, I’m  _ here _ for my daughter. She is going to be an amazing mom, with or without him… I’m really, really happy for her and Logan because my daughter would  _ never _ repeat my mistakes. I spent my entire life making sure she didn’t at all, and if she isn’t going to repeat my mistakes, that means Logan is going to be fine and it would be insane for me to project any other of my doubts or my fears or my baggage on her and so I’m not going to do that, and that means I have to stay totally calm and neutral and just accept that whatever happens happens.”

Suddenly Lorelai got very serious and oddly calm, she gave in and sat down next to Luke, coffee ½ gone, a few tears in her eyes and her energy completely spent, her smile gone- she just looked exhausted.

“Rory is going to be a mom. I mean, there is a part of me that is really excited to be a grandma-- I know I’m relatively young for it, but come on, I had her when I was practically an infant myself, so I feel like I dealt with that a long time ago. And don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited to see her do this and experience all of it-- I mean, I wouldn’t have minded if it had come a _ little _ later, or even if it  _ never _ happened, which, honestly in the last few years started to feel like a possibility. 

“But I never felt like being a mom was something really important to her, you know? I’ve felt guilty sometimes about her turning down Logan all those years ago- like, she did the right thing, she wasn’t ready to get married, so it was the right call. But I feel like I pushed so much for her to not  _ need _ a husband in her life, that maybe she killed a chance to be really happy in a completely different way. Her education and her career was the thing we _always_ worked for and everything else was kind of incidental. But it's hard not to look back now and wonder, did I do it all wrong? Is she ready for this? I mean, she’s so capable, and she’s incredibly loving… but… come on! This will seriously interfere with her career and with everything she’s always wanted and she’s already so down on herself at the moment and feeling kind of rock bottom journalism-wise, she's got like $0 in her checking account- she's actually dipped into her Trust fund a few times, which is fine, there's more than enough in there, but she always feels so horrible when she does, like it's wrong and like I'm judging her for it or that she's disappointing everyone. And then with Dad being gone and Mom moving to Nantucket, I know she's feeling just so lost and unsettled…  _ GOD _ ! I just hate that she’s going through all of this! She was never supposed to go through this, I did everything I could so she would never feel like this- but now I'm wondering if that's the problem, maybe I screwed up.”

“Lorelai, stop! Wow, you are my wife and I love you, but that was some of the craziest talk I've ever heard from your mouth- and we've had multiple hours long conversations about who was a better Darren in _Bewitched_. But you not being an amazing mom? You messing everything up for Rory? That's just crazy. That is a good kid in there.  I mean, I'm not thrilled that this is how it’s all happening for Rory. Let’s face it, you’re never going to think any guy is good enough for her, and we both know for damn sure _I’m_ never going to think any guy is good enough for her… but, this is Rory! This is a girl- sorry, woman- who can do just about anything she sets her mind to, she’s brilliant and kind and considerate and while this situation with Logan is… complicated, she’s going to be an incredible mom. And Logan seems... look, I know that you've never really clicked with him, and I was pretty pissed about how he handled the whole proposal rejection, ultimatum breakup thing all that time ago. And I'm kind of on board with you that it's fairly upsetting to see how their relationship unfolded the last year or so... but everyone makes mistakes- big ones too, and people deserve second and third chances. I mean, you did that for me- after everything with April you forgave me, you helped me be a dad... and then I screwed  _again_ when you wanted to elope and I didn't go with you, and you gave me another chance. So maybe we need to give Logan a little bit of leeway- because he's in that room. He realized his idiotic mistake with Rory, he jumped on a plane, he showed up at our place frantically searching for her and he didn't even know all the facts. And the second he did, he was here and he's gone through a bit of humiliation and discomfort and chaos and surprises... and he's still here." And then Logan turned inwards to her, holding her close to him, kissing the top of her head.  

“And  _ you- _ Lorelai, are going to be the best grandmother any kid could ever hope for- there’s no DAR, no weird jackets with shoulder pads, no forced Friday night dinners in exchange for financial support… and we’re going to be here for her and her kids- and Logan if he's here. We’re going to welcome them and love them and help them. This is  _ not  _ like when you were pregnant at 16. This is completely different and no one should be panicking right now. We just need to worry about helping Rory through this- and that includes her choices about Logan- we’re going to support however she wants to handle that, we’re going to love her and everything is going to be fine.” And Lorelai looked up at him with so much love in her eyes, they were sparkling a little bit as tears pooled in them, but she was smiling.

“You know what, Luke Danes? I’ve thought this before, I may have mentioned it once or twice, but I think you just might be the perfect man. It’s not Kelsey Grammer, it’s not Tony Danza, it isn’t even Jon Oliver- I really think it’s you.”

“Well, then it’s probably a good thing you married me, huh?” She smiled back at him, loving him so much for his stoicism and stability… and for how much faith he had not just in her, but in her daughter. He put one arm around her, pulling her into his side and kissing her on the top of her head, squeezing her tightly.

“Then again, if I had known you were such a greaser before we got married…”

“I’m not a greaser!” She leaned into his side and smiled before she started to sing softly, 

  
“Go greased lightning you’re burning up the quarter mile…” 


	13. Confessions and Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, the one where Rory and Logan get REALLY real with each other.

Logan woke with a pain in his neck and his right arm felt totally dead- almost panicking, at the unfamiliar surroundings, but he didn’t feel particularly anxious- he felt comfortable. Probably because he looked over and saw why he had just napped in the least comfortable bed in a terribly uncomfortable position- wrapped around his gir. His girl was pregnant and she was planning to stay that way and make him a father. He was going to be a dad.

Wow, was that ever going to sink in and feel real? Ace- his Ace, was pregnant. He was no longer with Odette, he and Rory could actually give a real relationship a chance for the first time in a decade.

Logan had no idea how to be a dad, not really. Obviously Mitchum hadn’t really been much of an example. At this point, none of his closest friends had kids- Robert had a kid but was divorced from the mom and only saw him some weekends and a few weeks out of the year- the mom was kind of a basket case at this point and they did the nanny thing, would probably send the kid to boarding school in a few years- he was pretty sure that to this day Robert had never even changed a diaper.

Honor had three kids at this point and was an amazing mom- he loved being Uncle Logan and spoiling them, but because he lived in London he was lucky if he saw them twice a year, so he never had to really do anything but play legos, buy them tons of presents and maybe, when they were babies, give them a bottle until they fell asleep- but if they were ever fussy or upset, Honor, Josh or a nanny would whisk them away and out of the room. He had no idea what it was like to do 2 am feedings, to bathe a baby, handle a fever or anything else.

He didn’t even know what to expect- how long was it until babies did things like crawl or eat solids or potty train? Like, was it going to be months or years? He had vague recollections from his nieces and nephews, but he didn’t ask much about specifics, just liked instagram photos and Facebook statuses really. When did they start school? Kindergarten was right around 5, yes?

But before he really spun out he looked over and saw Rory- the woman he had been in love with since he was 22, who he couldn’t resist from the second he saw her in Hamburg, who got him to agree to that idiotic Vegas concept just because she clearly wasn’t in a place for a commitment and he just couldn’t walk away from her- he’d take whatever he could get, for as long as he could have it, just to be in her life. He wasn’t proud of that, or how things went with Odette, but she just had that hold on him that he couldn’t shake… maybe he didn’t want to, because everything since her had just felt forced or mediocre. That’s probably what had made it so easy with Odette, it was ok that neither of them were madly in love, no one would get hurt that way and they had a good time together.

Looking at her in her sleep, he started to worry about her her beautiful dark hair a bit messy around her face, making it seem more yellow than it’s normal glowing porcelain. He saw dark circles under her eyes, and had lost at least 10 lbs since he last saw her, even her veins seemed to be popping out- bright blue lines under her skin. He had to close his eyes quickly, blinking away tears. Seeing her like this was really difficult- what was he going to do if she got any sicker?

Paris had briefed them a little bit on the Hyperemesis- making comments about Princess Kate making it cool. She said there weren’t really any “cures” for it, they could just manage the symptoms. She was off calling colleagues at Hopkins and Harvard Med about various treatment regimens, getting some opinions- it wasn’t really her specialty and she wasn’t going to give her best friend any advice that wasn’t _the best-_ and for that, Logan would put up with all the verbal abuse she could throw at him.

On the bright side, it was looking like the nausea meds helped, the IV fluids seemed to be helping, so that was a start. But what if this lasted much longer? Apparently it could end anytime between end of the first trimester and all the way to 20 weeks. She was 7 weeks pregnant, Logan didn’t know how he’d manage to watch her like this for 13 more weeks.

And this was the strongest woman he had ever known- she and her mom had fought for everything- Chilton, Yale, she won her spot as Editor of the Yale Daily News, she followed Obama around for almost two years on the campaign trail, she wrote for _The New Yorker,_ for _Vanity Fair,_ _The Washington Post_ , _London Examiner,_ the _Financial Times_ … now she was writing a book and having their baby- babies! Wow, that was going to take serious time to wrap his mind around! There was absolutely nothing this woman did by halves- she threw herself into everything she did- clearly,no simple single birth, she had to go and have twins! (Although, again, his understanding of the process was pretty vague, was this like the gender thing where twins was because of him? Or was this all on the woman? God, he had so much to Google!)  

And then he smiled, because no matter how terrified he was, there was absolutely nowhere he would rather be than with her and their babies, taking care of them as much as he could- because that was his life now, _that_ was really all that mattered, loving them, protecting them and making sure they had everything, all three of them. He could spend the rest of his life, right here, tracing the contours of her face, pushing back a stray curl of her hair behind her ear as softly as he could, not wanting to wake her up- she had clearly had a lot of stress lately and not nearly enough rest. Unfortunately that was the moment that an Orderly crashed a cart full of something loud right in front of the door to her room and Rory’s eyes jolted awake, her whole body tensing.

“Hey, hey, Ace, it’s ok, everything is fine, someone just dropped something out in the hall, just calm down and try to go back to sleep.”

His voice was just velvet- low and soft and a tiny bit of a growl when he was being protective of her. He was smiling down at her, that magnetic smile that just sent shivers down her spine and she just stared at him, still in complete disbelief that he was here- and it wasn’t even that he came just because she was pregnant, he hadn’t known about it when he jumped on a plane and then, once he found out, he practically ran to her side to tell her how much he loved her and wanted to be with her. Her eyes just got bigger as she looked at him, how was she so lucky? She started to tear up again- these damn hormones felt some days like they may literally be the death of her. Seeing the tears in her eyes, Logan worried.

“Whoa, are you alright? Do you need something? Are you feeling sick again?” The way his concern level jumped from 0 to 100 that fast really wowed her and she had to bite her bottom lip as she thought about how amazing this man made her feel, how loved she was. She shook her head to answer his question, not awake enough to say anything more coherent, and she was still feeling pretty nauseous…

“Oh, shit, Logan, your shoes, I threw up all over you!” She tried to sit up suddenly, but his arm around her slowed that down, thankfully, because the way her stomach felt like it was doing flips, she was a bit worried about puking all over him again.

“Hey, Ace, don’t worry about it. I mean it- I already threw them out, Luke is going to bring me something from my bag at your place and, let’s face it, I’ve probably experienced much worse from Colin or Finn at various points in our lives and, if Honor’s horror stories are to be believed at all, I’m probably going to experience much worse from our kids in the future.” He was still smiling at her, that amazing smile that just lit up his entire face- they were talking about vomit and he was smiling.

But she was barely able to pull the corners of her lips up into something that sort of resembled a smile. “Kids”... they were having twins, two babies. She had been pretty freaked out at the prospect of _one_ kid, the idea of two kids _at the same time_ was making her feel sick all over again. She lay back, closing her eyes, not wanting to think about it- it was too much, it was way too much.

“Ok Ace, I can hear you thinking from over here, there is a lot going on in that big beautiful brain of yours- care to share?”

She looked up at him, continuing to bite her bottom lip, worrying it to the point that all Logan really wanted to do was take over and put it between his teeth, knowing how much she enjoyed it when he nibbled on it and then brushed his tongue over the same spot before sucking on it. _Get it together Huntzberger, the_ last _thing that she needs right now is your adolescent-level hormonally-ridden body attacking her while she’s in the hospital, sicker than all hell, with your kids._

But she was refusing to really look at him, so he knew that he was at the very least nervous about something, at worst… well, he wasn’t exactly sure what.

“Rory, come on, what’s happening? And please, I know you, for the love of God, do not say that you’re fine.”

“Logan, I’m just not feeling well, obviously, hence the almost ‘Bubble Boy’ environment we’re currently inhabiting.”

“Come on, something is bugging you and I need to know what it is.”

“Seriously, I’m just nauseous and…”

“And that’s it? Because I saw how much medication they pumped into your IV earlier and according to Paris it should have you feeling borderline peppy for another 2 ½ hours.”

“So now you’re telling me how I should feel- whether or not I should feel nauseous? Or maybe you’re going to weigh in on whether or not I _actually_ have a headache that’s radiating from the back of my neck, right at the spine? Or if it’s true that my feet hurt even though I’ve been off them for almost 3 days straight because anytime I even tried to stand up I almost passed out from being dizzy or ended up on the bathroom floor, over a toilet, puking my guts out worse than after Finn’s birthday party where I accidentally drank something hallucinogenic thinking it was iced tea?”

“Wow. Sorry about that, I'm not saying that you're... I just… Look, I know something else is wrong and I just really wish you would tell me what it was so I can do something about it. I’m not really good at just sitting back and watching you so sick and anxious and… This is a lot of new territory for me, Ace and I really don't know what to do or say or how to act because for once in my life I can't just buy a solution and that makes me feel a bit useless.” She sighed, knowing that she was being tough on him.

“It’s ok, I just... I guess I don’t really know how to find my bearings right now either. It _is_ a lot of new stuff, for both of us.” And she just leaned towards him a little more, enjoying the moment of just being there with him, snuggled against his side- she'd never get over how perfectly she seemed to fit into the crook of his shoulder.

He moved his hand to caress her cheek, his thumb taking time tracing her (overly) pronounced cheekbone- he used to do this in his more romantic moments, often after they made love. And then he found his heart picking up at the memories of that night in New Hampshire- the night he had apparently left her with one hell of a souvenir. Everything about that night had been so beautiful. Logan and Rory had _never_ lacked for chemistry, it was one of the things that had actually intrigued him in the beginning with her- it had never felt like enough with her, every time had been exciting and adventurous and just better than any other time before or since her. But _that_ night, in a cozy little inn that was the opposite of the kind of place he would ever stay in any other circumstance, they had experienced magic- a few times. And now she was pregnant, and despite everything he had ever fought against, every fear of commitment, of turning into his father, of assuming responsibility for other people... he was happier than he had ever been in his life… except for the fact that she just wasn’t telling him something important.

But she wasn’t always good at opening up, especially if it was about something big or scary, sometimes it took some poking. So, he was going to have to poke and hope it didn't blow up in his face.

“Sooo… twins? That’s uh… wow, that was pretty surprising.” _Come on Ace, just say something- it doesn’t have to be big, just give me something._

“Umm, yeah, that was definitely a bit to take in.” Succinct was not what Rory Gilmore did, not around him.

“I had no idea it was going to be so iffy that they could tell so soon- Paris said that she’s had a few couples that don’t find out until the 20 week sonogram- when they’re learning the gender- that’s almost halfway through. I can’t imagine! You see it all on tv and it seems instant, you know?”

“Yeah, that’s crazy.” Ok, maybe Logan needed to try smaller bites.

“Hey, speaking of, how do you feel about finding out the genders? I mean, I know that it’s still weeks away, Paris thought 16-18 weeks was the earliest it might happen, but I thought we might as well talk about it.”

“Ummm, I hadn’t thought much about it- do you have a preference?”

“About finding out? Or about which I’d prefer?”

“Well, I guess both… either?”

“Well, yeah, I think I'd probably like to know- I’d like to plan and prepare, let it sink in; but I’m totally flexible on the matter. In terms of what I want? I know I should sit here and say that I just want them to be happy, and I do want that, and I’d honestly love either, but I think it would be pretty amazing to have one of each- a boy and a girl.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Ok, Rory was not a woman of few words- she had once written 300 words in a St Patrick’s Day card for him, her not being more verbose about her hospitalization-causing pregnancy, the possible genders of the babies or even her thoughts on recent events… it just wasn’t right, something was definitely going on inside her head that she wasn't talking about. But what was he supposed to do? He was still caressing her cheek, running another finger through her hair, fighting the urge to just kiss her senseless and declare how much he loved her and exactly how happy all of this (aside from her being sick) made him, but she was obviously in a very different space.

Maybe he needed to change tactics.

“Rory, come on, are we going to talk about all of this?”

“What is there to talk about?” Ok, that had him standing up from the bed, looking down at her, his eyes wide with exasperation- kind of wanting to throttle her but forcing himself to take a few deep breaths before he spoke.

“What is there to talk about? I don’t know, how about the fact that you’re pregnant? I mean, sure- I came here, jumped on a last minute flight from London and we had that big Hallmark moment, and we sort of hashed it out about how much we love each other, what a mistake it was to _not_ get together sooner and really give today’s Rory and Logan a chance, see where it goes- but what does _this-_ ” gesturing at her and her belly, “Mean for us? _Is there_ an us?” And then he was pacing a little, not far away from her, and he wasn’t angry he was just… _he_ needed to talk about this, even if she didn’t want to. He thought he deserved a chance to process and sometimes, processing out loud was the best way to go. “ _Or_ , maybe we should talk about the fact that we’re having not just one baby, but two? I mean, that seems fairly noteworthy to me- something that deserves a conversation.” And she was back to not looking at him, great. With a sigh, mad at himself, he pulled the chair next to her bed closer and sat, taking both her hands in his.

“Look, I think you know how I feel about you- I love you, and I want to really make all of this work, I have every intention of being here for you _and_ our kids, regardless what you think or feel about me… but I’d be pretty concerned if _none_ of this worried you or you weren't freaking out a little bit. So, I’m here, I want you to talk to me, tell me how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking.” She stayed quiet, not even really turning to face him and he sighed, running both his hands through his hair, freaking out every second that she stayed still, turned away from him.

“I’m not insane, Ace- I know that this is big. And I’m definitely concerned about plenty of things to do with us, especially to do with us having twins… I mean, last I checked, that’s a fairly permanent situation and there is no _easing into_ it, we get _both_ babies _at the same time_. And then we take them home and we are responsible for them, we have two small humans completely depend on us for at least 18 years!

“And Rory, I’m so worried about you- seriously seeing you this sick is killing me. I mean, I did some Googling earlier, wanting to send you to just about any hospital on the east coast that is better equipped to handle you, that can fix this, but what do you know? Our very own Paris Gellar? She is actually one of the best OBs around, and she went to med school with a few of the world authorities on HG… it turns out that’s the _cool_ term for hyperemesis- it’s actually what Princess Kate had, so at least what you have is relatively trendy and cool.” He tried to smile, knowing that was a lame attempt at a joke, but feeling a bit willing to try anything. And... nothing in return.

“I don’t really know what else I can say- I’m scared. I’m scared that you’re going to be too sick that neither of us can enjoy this pregnancy. I mean, my mom didn’t love being pregnant, but Honor and Josh? They loved it, they tell stories about her insane cravings in the middle of the night and her baby yoga classes and some _very_ poorly veiled comments about 4-6th month hormones that I spend a lot of time trying to _not_ think about. But every time it comes up, they just… they look like it was the best months of their lives, they say it's some of best moments of their relationship- and I want that! I want funny stories to tell these kids some day about all the weird things you’d put on ice cream or about my coming home to see you sobbing over a Hallmark commercial and we’d laugh about how insane that was.” She did seem to almost crack a smile at that one- even without hormones he'd caught her tearing up a few times and he loved to tease her about it.

“And I’m scared that I’m going to be a truly terrible dad. I mean, look at my example- Mitchum? I know for a fact that my first word was _no_ \- which is bad enough, but second it was _nan_ … for my Nanny- my mom was a stay at home mom and I have a hard time trying to come up with any memories with her before I was five. I mean, you had Lorelai and Sookie and Luke… occasionally your dad- and from what it sounds like, you may have better memories of Christopher growing up than I have with Mitchum, who lived with us. And while Emily and Richard weren’t always around or supportive, they could still list the age you were when you started to read, when you first read Dickens, when you started and stopped ballet- I promise you, that’s true- your grandfather literally showed me a hidden photo of you in a tutu at around age 7 or 8 that he kept hidden in his desk… And now that I say that, I desperately wish you knew that back then- because I know that you think you and your mom were alone for so long.

“Rory, I don’t want to be one more guy you describe your relationship with as ‘complicated’... come on, you know how much I hate Avril Lavigne, she never should have married that guy from Nickelback…” That one actually did get her smile, a tiny one, but it was something. “I know that you have been left, you have been heartbroken- you have generally decided that it’s better not to even try with guys- your dad, that guy Dean, Jess… Hell, even me. But that’s done. It’s not happening here, I’m not leaving and all I want is for us to be partners. But for that to work, I need you to talk to me.”

Rory lay in the bed, knowing she should say something, Logan had said a lot, and most of it was good- but she was terrified, just in general. She was a mess. What was she going to do- with her life, with her job, where was she going to live and raise these babies? She had absolutely _nothing_ right now and she’s just realized just how utterly fucked she was. But Logan? He was just there and perfect and so full of love, sweet and encouraging and totally  brilliant- he’d proven that with his company in San Francisco, then going back to HPG and really bringing it into the digital age- he was just so the opposite of everything Rory was at the moment and how could he possibly, really want to be with her? And it was that train of logic that made her, for the millionth time that week, burst into loud, heaving, racking sobs.

“Whoa, Ace, fuck, I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean to upset you, I mean, I guess I wanted you to react, to do something, but I really just wanted to talk to you, not to make you histrionic!" He was back in panic mode, he felt pretty lost. "Are you ok? Do you need me to bring in a doctor to give you something- some meds or maybe you want Lorelai- I could go get her? Because I swear to God Rory, if you don’t let me help you somehow I’m going to lose my fucking mind and right now, that seems infinitely worse than anything else I could ever-”

“Logan, please!” She was sitting up now, and he really hated seeing her so frustrated with him while she was so sick and upset… Ugh, why did he always have to push her so hard? Why couldn't he just let her come to him in her own time?

“What, what can I do for you? How can I help?”

“Logan, it isn’t your job to make it all better!” She practically screamed it at him, giving him quite a death stare.

He paused, genuinely shocked. “If it isn’t my job, whose is it?”

“Logan, don’t you see, what a fucking mess I am? Why do you think I proposed the Vegas arrangement and pushed you away, pushed Paul away… oh, he finally dumped me, by the way… by text- good for him, honestly, he deserves SO much better than me. I keep pretending that I wanted this crazy globe-hopping life, going from one freelance assignment to the next, being interesting and exotic and glamorous… But honestly? I just wanted to run away from everything that made me realize what a fucking shit show I am. I mean, my career is stalled, if not completely dead- I have no prospects and no promising leads; I have no place of my own except the bedroom with a double bed from when I was 10; working for my hometown paper for  _no_ pay and they're still mad I took out the damn poem! I’m _pregnant_ with _twins_ , all of my earthly possessions are scattered around the globe, not that I’ll be able to fit into the most of the clothes _or_ have the time to read the books they contain. I can’t drink coffee- Luke doesn’t even like me sipping decaf, thinks it’s some kind of ‘gateway’ drug, and I’m pretty sure he’s putting kale and apples and healthy stuff in absolutely everything he’s serving me. Seriously, he used butternut squash puree in the mac and cheese he made last week and Mom says he just bought a juicer!” Rory was desperate to get out of the bed, but vertical had not been her friend for a few weeks now and she was tired and more than a little loopy from the medications and nausea that hadn’t allowed her to actually do much recently- nope, nothing but being an incubator for two little Gilmore-Huntzberger babies.

“But you’re _here_ and you’re perfect and you say that you love me,”

“I _do_ love you-” she cut him off, angrily waving him away.

“And you’re amazing- you’ve taken the publishing world by storm, you’ve raised the share prices of HPG  by more than 32% from when you started there five years ago. You’re gorgeous, you were going to marry a brilliant, beautiful, leggy supermodel of a woman who has like a dozen degrees from Oxford and the Sorbonne and speaks all these languages and works with poor children in 3rd world countries on her vacations… You come over here and you find out I’m pregnant, and that it’s with twins, and you’re just sitting there, calmly taking it all in, but of course you are, because you're sweet, and kind and so funny and brilliant and everything that you do, you do so well- next to Richard Gilmore, you’re absolutely the most amazing man I’ve ever met. You’ve been out there the last ten years, doing so much, being so much!

“And through all of this, I’ve done everything wrong! I mean, trying to write that story about standing in lines? I What was that? And then blowing that interview at SandeeSays because I was so arrogant and so convinced that I was _the best_ that I actually yelled at them for having the nerve to _interview_ me before hiring me? Who am I- Tom Cruise? And then, instead of sitting down and dealing with all of this, I do what? I throw out half my phones, I blow off any good leads for writing assignments, I had a one night stand with a _wookiee_ for God’s sake! I ruined your engagement, I’m driving a wedge between you and your family… Headmaster Charleston thought I was so pitiful he offered me a teaching job at Chilton and I acted like it was so beneath me but guess what? I’m not even _qualified_ for it- not until I have my Masters. So you want to know what’s wrong with me? It _is_ me! I’m what is wrong and I don’t know how to fix any of it!”

And she was done. She sat there, in her bed, crying and hating everything about herself while he just sat in stunned silence. That speech may have actually been more shocking than when he found out she was pregnant.

It looked a lot like they had just finished a major boxing match, they were each sweating just a bit, breathing heavy and Logan had a vein throbbing just a bit in his forehead that almost made him wonder if he was going to have an aneurysm. What the hell was she saying? She thought he was taking this all calmly? She truly believed that _he_ was too good for _her_? On what planet could Lorelai Leigh Gilmore be considered anything other than too good for just about any man alive- honestly, was there a man out there good enough for her? _Maybe_ Justin Trudeau… possibly a young Barack Obama or Nelson Mandela back in the day?

But, too bad for Trudeau, she was very much taken.  He just sat there, staring at her a little, not really knowing what to say until finally he sort of smiled while shaking his head at her.

“Wow. You know that I love you, I mean, you are the mother of my children and the love of my life, Ace, but you are talking like an absolute idiot. You’re a mess? Really? You think so? Are we talking about the same person here? Because, last I checked you have an impressive portfolio of some of the best writing I’ve ever seen- and I feel pretty confident in my opinion, some people would consider me a bit of an expert. You’ve hit a little bit of a dry spell in terms of work, but that happens to everyone, and we can turn it around in no time… I’d start right now, but you’re awfully busy at the moment saving your hometown’s newspaper for absolutely no pay and even less gratitude. You’ve also been helping one of the most thoroughly unlikable people I’ve ever met through a really tough divorce, you’ve been grieving for your grandfather who I know meant more to you than just about anyone else ever has, while trying to help Emily and your mom keep it together. On top of that, you’re writing a book, Ace, a book that I’m positive is going to be as brilliant and witty and full of heart as you. And, you’ve spent the last 7 weeks growing two human beings- our kids! Ace, the rest is just bumps on the road, setbacks… some of it was us being mutually stupid and unintentionally obtuse, some of it was my needing to _really_ grow up and stop worrying about pleasing my parents- I mean, it’s never going to happen- I needed to just deal with that reality.

“And some of it was just you being in a really rough industry at a really bad time. Journalism is changing- it’s not like it was even when we were graduating from Yale. So we’ll sit down and we’ll talk about it- given what it is today, is it still where you want to be? If so, we work all the contacts we have and we get you back out there. If not, that’s ok too- it’s alright for dreams to change. Work on your book, we could make some calls about you getting into publishing or being an editor… or we could really team up and take on the Stars Hollow Gazette and turn it around and into an actual paying gig for you. Or, what the hell, go back to school! I’m not saying you have to teach, at Chilton or anywhere, but you always wanted a Masters, why not go for it?”

“Logan, this is all really sweet, but I think that you’re missing the major point- there are two tiny little humans that are going to take up a lot of my time and energy and money over the next few years. I can’t just put them aside to go back to school or launch a new career.”

“You don’t have to put them aside- I’m going to be there to help and we can get a nanny or put them in daycare or I’ll work from home when you need to work…”

“Logan- I-”

“Just, don’t say anything, Rory. You don’t have to decide anything right now- you don’t have to decide anything tomorrow- just sit back and think. If someone wrote you a check for 2 million dollars, what would you do? If you didn’t have to worry about anything else, where would you live? What would you do? Just think about it, and when you figure it out, tell me, and we’ll figure out a way to make it happen. Because there is nothing that you and I can’t do together… except be seen at the Hartford Yacht Club- they’ve still got our pictures up in the security office, or so I’ve been told.” AH! Finally, he got a smile from her- it wasn't all the way to her eyes, but he'd take it.

“Logan?”

“Yeah, Ace?”

“Have I ever told you that you’re the perfect man? I mean, I’ve always wondered if maybe it was William Shatner or Tony Danza or maybe even Joe Biden- but no, I’m pretty sure it’s you.”

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing you’re stuck with me, huh?” And with that he got back up on the bed and pulled her to him again, kissing her softly on the lips and then her forehead. “You need more sleep- it’s been a really long day and you need a lot more rest. You just close your eyes and I’ll be right here when you wake up, I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”  Just as she was drifting off she heard, "Oh, and don't think we won't be talking about the wookiee thing later." And oddly that left her with a smile on her face as she fell asleep.


	14. Through The Looking Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or the one in which we discover that Mitchum may have a heart... somewhere in there.

Six days- Rory had spent six very long days in the hospital and she was starting to think she might just lose her mind. It was almost funny to think how often in the last 10 years she had dreamed of having the time to lay in bed, relax, catch up on her exponentially growing reading list or just lie back and binge watch all those shows on her Netflix queue. Unfortunately, being in a hospital room with tubes and monitors everywhere, feeling sick when she sat up too far or moved too fast, with doctors and nurses prodding and poking her constantly, Paris’ running commentary on her the state of healthcare in America, the hovering of her family (pretty much all of them, Chris lived in Hartford these days, Emily was back in from Nantucket (you could always tell when she was at the hospital, nurses and orderlies would scatter and shake, almost as badly as when Paris was there).

Logan had only left the hospital a couple of times since he first arrived 6 days ago, and each time it had only been after a lot of nagging and a few jokes from Lorelai about close quarters and the lack of a shower. Twice he had gone back to Star’s Hollow for a shower, a change of clothes and a few hours of sleep in an actual bed, but he really didn’t like to stay away from Rory for very long- it was basically his fault she was so sick, the least he could do was be there with her- enjoying the fluorescent lights, the terrible, terrible coffee and the never ending parade of older people in gowns that frequently showed him their bare asses. All in all, he gave it 1 ½ stars.  

Rory did seem to be doing better so long as she was constantly on the anti-nausea meds and IV fluids, not to mention her new best friend- popsicles, which most days were the only thing she even tried to eat. Paris had suggested that they put a PICC line into her shoulder- basically a permanent port so she could have an IV all the time and not be stuck in the hospital. Although being at home in Stars Hollow sounded amazing, Rory leaving the hospital was problematic and made everyone more than a bit nervous- Rory was worried it would be too much strain on Luke and her mom, they just got married, they shouldn’t spend all their time cleaning up after her, helping her change her lines, and all of that. And that didn't even account for where Logan would keep his things in her tiny room.

Emily had happily offered the use of the Hartford house, but no one liked how far that would put her from Stars Hollow and all of the support they had there- they would definitely want someone with her pretty much around the clock, like here at the hospital. Chris offered _his_ place in Hartford, now that he had moved into the house he grew up in to help out with his mom, he had plenty of room- but he also had Gigi _and_ Francine, who wasn’t nearly as healthy as she used to be. Logan was happy to get an apartment somewhere, bring in a home care nurse a few times a day- Chris and Emily had both offered the same, but Rory and Logan didn’t really know where they were going to be, getting a lease just seemed impractical and the money it would cost to do both those things was too much. Paris offered her guest room in Manhattan, but the stairs alone made it a no-go.

Rory was starting to feel so awful about everyone running around, trying to fix everything for her while she was fairly useless to do anything to herself. She didn’t have money to offer towards anything (well, she did, but she thought it was more important than ever to save her trust fund for the babies’ futures); she knew that continuing to live at home was too much strain on both Luke and Lorelai, but also her and Logan and their… whatever it was that they were. At least as long as she was in the hospital, while slightly inconvenient to everyone else who wanted to visit, no one was truly committed to anything, no was out gobs of money (well, aside from her insurance company) and she didn't feel guilty.

But as the days stretched on, she was really starting to crack and wonder if she should just break down and beg someone to help her out financially- she really didn’t know how much longer she could possibly stay in this hideous room with her laptop and threadbare linens, drafty windows and hospital staff that was too scared of reprisal from Emily and Paris to really even talk to her.

She was barely holding it together when she tried, yet again, to get up and change into yoga pants and a tank top instead of the horrible hospital gown, but she was tired and nauseous and the tubes and cords were just everywhere, getting all twisted and contorting like a crazy person until she gave up. How, if she couldn’t even possibly _change her own clothes_ , how on earth was she ever going to take care of _two tiny little babies?_  She wasn’t stupid, she’d been Googling, she’d been reading and asking questions- she likely had another 6-12 weeks of this to look forward to. And the best part was that since her relatively advanced age (for gestational purposes) and multiple pregnancy status, she could be pretty confident in at least one month of bedrest- come on, Lane had been 22 and even she needed it. Rory was looking at probably 5 more months of this hell bed rest hell, draining everyone else’s time and money and patience.

As the dam broke and she sobbed to herself, something that was happening a few times a day lately, she wished that Logan was there. She couldn’t really talk to him about _all_ this, it made her feel more and more guilty for putting all of this on him, but it had been about a week since his confrontation with his father- a story that Lorelai and Emily insisted he repeat on an almost daily basis. The two women laughed gleefully at the idea of Mitchum’s reaction to Logan’s mic drop moment about if Mitchum needed someone to explain some new tech to him, give Logan a call. His father had called plenty, had texted. So had his mother and his sister Honor and the unholy trio- Colin, Robert and Finn, but Logan hadn’t wanted to leave Rory or break the little bubble that was keeping out reality.

They had talked about it, it was customary to wait until the end of the first trimester to tell people- but that was kind of tough to do in this situation- Rory being in a hospital needed explanation. That being said, Logan really didn’t want to invite any more stress on Rory and stress was inevitable with the Huntzberger clan- whether it was his parents and their shock and disapproval and probable anger or his sister wanting to spend all of her time with Rory and showering her with gifts and questions and commentary… and God knew how the guys were going to take it all… He had done his best to avoid the situation, but as it became more and more clear that Rory was not going to be getting out of the hospital all jolly and healthy anytime in the immediate future, Logan knew he had had to suck it up and go deal with this. He was going to be a father, he had to stop being so chicken shit afraid of his own and start taking care of his family. Rory was asleep and Logan leaned over to kiss her on the forehead before he headed into the Lion's Den.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When he got to his dad’s office, having confirmed with his assistant (who Logan was almost positive his dad was banging- that man was an inspiration to all, really) that he was in the office, Logan bypassed reception and walked right in, not really caring that his dad was in a meeting or that his dad seemed genuinely surprised to see him there, in New York.

“Logan, what are you doing here? I don’t think you were on my schedule for today.”

“Oh you know, Pops… had some things I needed to run by you and I didn’t think they could wait, and I wanted to make sure I did so in person.”

“Well, as you can see, I’m in the middle of a meeting, Son.”

“I understand that, but I have a very limited amount of time I can be in the city and I’m going to have to ask you to please step away for five minutes. I promise to get you back to your discussion about-” and he looked around the room, assessing the attendees, betting he knew what the meeting was about. “But five minutes and you can get back to your conversation about shifting more budgets towards sponsored content and attracting syndicated bloggers- although you probably want to look at the report that my team is finishing up this week on how we used that strategy for our EU and Brexit coverage and the results- it could really help you level set and make some more strategic decisions.”

Mitchum looked genuinely surprised- was it because Logan had just guessed exactly the purpose of the meeting he was in? Or was it because Logan had actually had the balls to call his dad out in public about making poorly informed decisions, decisions that Logan apparently seemed far more capable of making. When was Logan going to stop letting himself get mad whenever his dad was surprised to see him doing his job well? Logan has constantly proven he was as good, if not better, than Mitchum ever had been, but his dad would never admit it- why did he keep trying?

“Well, that sounds like a good idea.” _Always one to save face, that guy_  “Logan, if you can get us a copy of that report by the end of day Friday, we'd appreciate it. Gentlemen, I suppose we should table this conversation until early next week- if you’ll excuse me, I need to speak with my son. Thanks for your time.” He tried to be gracious, not to appear as though he looked stupid for not knowing about such a major report that his own damn son was working on as the men filed out of the room quietly. Mitchum looked at his watch as the last person exited and, noticing it was after 4:00 he moved over to his small bar cart and poured himself a scotch. “Macallan neat for you?”

“No, thanks, I need to get back on the road as soon as possible.”

“May I ask where it is that you’re leaving so urgently? Or why it was so important that you barge in on an important meeting with our Planning Committee? Or maybe you'd like to explain why I haven’t heard from you in a week since our last, somewhat dramatic conversation? You’ve left your mother with a hell of a mess to clean up- cancelling all the wedding arrangements, handling press inquiries, returning gifts and all of that.”

“Well I’m sorry that Mom had to make a call to a few event planners and handle a couple routine press inquiries; but come on, don’t act like this is a huge burden she’s been personally saddled with. The planners will handle the cancellations, the PR team will put  out a press release and Odette is handling the few gifts that we received already.” Then feeling the tiniest bit contrite, “But I’ll call mom and apologize after we’re done here.” Mitchum nodded, that would help him deal with Shira and was honestly a bit more gracious than he had expected. He took another sip of his scotch and sat behind his desk, inviting Logan to sit across from him, which he did.

“So, I’m here to tell you I won’t be going back to the London office, at least not for any extended period of time. I need to be here, well, in Connecticut actually, and I need to either pull back on my hours or take a leave of absence entirely. I know that this puts you in a bit of a bind and you’re already working on a spiel about how this is unprofessional and I have responsibilities and I’m well aware of that, but right now, I really need to be here.”

“Let me guess, this has something to do with Ms. Gilmore?” He seemed entirely unimpressed and thoroughly annoyed by Logan’s request.

“Dad, I really don’t want to get into all of it, but I’m with Rory, we’re finally going to get our heads out of our asses and give us a real shot, and it’s really complicated, but I need to be here.”

“Ok, so you’re with Rory, so what? I have no problem with that, you’re mom will harp for a bit, but she’ll get over it- who cares? So we move her to London. I’m sure that with all of our contacts and her own portfolio we can find her a job easily enough- we can even set her up with something at HPG- we always need a good editor, or we can put her in Features until we find her something she’d prefer- that Naomi Shropshire piece was actually really great and her commentary from the Obama Campaigns- both of them- was always incredibly well-done. I swear, her coverage of his speech on race in 2008 was one of the best things I read that year. And I know you’re both stubborn, but come on, it’s not nepotism if she’s qualified. I fail to  see any reason why you shouldn’t continue in London, together- the Board is actually really happy with the job you’re doing over there; your recent expansions into the EU and Japan have been going extremely well, advertiser revenue is up and the office is running smoothly. Why rock the boat?” Wait- how did he know all of this? Had Mitchum Huntzberger been following Rory’s career- all the way back to the first Obama campaign? He knew that his dad liked to keep up with promising talent, but after what happened at the Stamford Gazette... it was surprising to hear she had made the list. What was happening, why did he feel like he was in the Twilight Zone?

“Dad- Rory is in Connecticut and I’m going to be there with her. Sorry, it’s non-negotiable, you can either work around that or I can quit; honestly it’s your call.”

“What? Is it about that Mom of hers living over here? We can work something out so she can travel back and forth periodically- maybe even give her some political or financial coverage so she’d be in the City more, she’s always had a refreshing approach to covering the economy, she would have access to the plane- it’s a quick and easy trip- it’s London after all, not the Falklands.”

“Well too bad that Rory can’t currently even travel to the corner store.” Logan hadn't exploded at his dad like he normally would, he just sat there, quietly and somewhat bitterly throwing it out. 

“What on earth are you talking about?” And then Mitchum surprised him. He stopped talking and looked- really looked at Logan. There were heavy bags under his eyes, which were also bloodshot. He was pale, his clothes seemed to be hanging a bit as though he’d lost a little bit of weight, and they were wrinkly; say what you will about Logan, but unkempt was not a term commonly tossed around. Mitchum downed the rest of his scotch and moved back to his bar, pouring another for him and a slightly more generous glass for Logan. Instead of going back behind the desk he took the other chair next to Logan, angling it to be closer as he saw that Logan seemed to be on the verge of losing it.  

“Come on Logan, drink up. We’ll get you back to… I’m assuming Rory is in Hartford right now? That’s where you’re so anxious to get back to?” Logan nodded, looking at the scotch. “Well, don’t worry, we’ll get you back to her as soon as possible, safe and sound, but you look like you could use that drink it’s actually the 18, not the 12, good for what ails you.” A bit surprised by the gesture, the genuine concern his dad was showing, Logan took a generous drink and sat it back down, admitting that his father was right, the warmth sliding down his throat did actually warm him a little, down in his belly, letting his muscles relax just ever so slowly, letting him breathe just a little bit easier. “Now, perhaps you want to fill in a few of the blanks to this story? What’s going on with you and the lovely Ms. Gilmore?”

“I told you that Rory is the woman I love, I’ve loved her ever since Yale and I just haven’t ever stopped. But I hadn’t seen her in a long time, and then we ran into each other in Hamburg a a little over a year ago and…” He hardly had to tell the serial philanderer before him what that meant. “But we broke it off when Odette moved in. Well, turns out- and I swear I didn’t know this when we called off the engagement, that Rory is pregnant. With twins.”

After all of the various stunts Logan had pulled for so long in his life, he wasn’t sure he was actually capable of still genuinely surprising his dad, at least not enough that his poker face failed him. But, apparently it was still possible, his dad had not been expecting that. The look of surprise made Logan want to smile, but they just sat there for a minute or two in silence, Logan didn't really know if he should say something.

“Yeah, I know, it was a pretty big surprise to me too, but it’s true- and yes, before you ask, they’re mine.”

“Logan, I wasn’t going to-”

“Of course you were, I know you- let’s be honest, if it were anyone but Rory it’s the first thing I would have asked… this time though, it’s pretty obvious- I trust her implicitly, but even if I didn’t, dates are the perfect match, they’re mine.”

They each took a swig of the single-malt in front of them, needing a moment- Mitchum to soak in this news, Logan to recover from telling it.

“Alright, so  then she’s pregnant, with twins. I mean, I get that she isn’t exactly 21 anymore, but what’s to stop her from going through the pregnancy in London? Why do you need a leave of absence? And why do you look so much like you’ve been living on the streets for the last week?”

And that’s when he noticed that Logan’s hand was trembling slightly and that his eyes were tearing up and it was terrifying for Mitchum to watch. This was a man who had gone shark-diving at the Great Barrier Reef, covered the Running of the Bulls, been on site at the discovery of one of Pinochet’s mass graves and interviewed survivors of the Oklahoma City Bombing- barely flinching. But the sight of his son breaking down in front of him, when he should be over the moon about Rory and fatherhood, was genuinely scary.

“Logan, what’s wrong?”

Logan was fighting pretty hard to keep it together- a combination of the lack of sleep, his worry for Rory, anticipating this confrontation with his father was all taking it’s toll. He downed the scotch, pushing the glass towards Mitchum, silently asking for a refill, which was quickly granted and they sat there, concern radiating off the older man in a way that was a bit unsettling to Logan.

“She’s pretty sick.” The immediate raise of an eyebrow and Logan continued. “The babies are fine- she’s about 8 weeks along, they are developing on target- they’re the right size, they’re heartbeats are strong…” the tears were building up a little more but Logan wasn’t ready to allow the dam to break. “But Rory… she’s experiencing something called Hyperemesis Gravidarum- it started about two weeks ago and when I got to Stars Hollow to talk to her about the engagement being called off, she wasn’t there. She wasn't there because she was in the hospital with this kind of morning sickness times 1000- she can’t keep food down, she’s dizzy if she gets out of bed, she’s losing weight… she’s 8 weeks pregnant with twins and looks like Karen Carpenter, Dad.” He sat there, drinking and looking out at the skyline of Manhattan- he didn’t know that he’d ever felt so lost or helpless in his life, and he’d fought so hard for the last week to keep Rory or anyone else from noticing how difficult this was for him.

“Dad, I swear, nothing has ever been harder for me to watch- I can’t do anything. I’ve honestly, and I really hate myself for saying this, but I’ve actually thought about asking her to terminate, just so she feels better. But God, these are our kids! I don’t think I even knew how much I wanted to be a dad until I knew she was pregnant and didn’t know if she was going to keep it. I heard my babies’ heartbeats and I just… it was unreal. I want these kids so much, I’ve never wanted anything more, but watching Rory go through this? Knowing I can’t do _anything_  to help?”

“Come on, Logan, there’s nothing we can do? Let’s look for new doctors- we can bring her to Mt. Sinai or maybe Hopkins has a place? What have you tried?” Again, this was genuine concern from his father, what was going on? Was he being punk’d? He drank some more.

“Dad, no, you don’t understand. Her friend, her college roommate, she’s actually a pretty impressive doctor, she’s got contacts and they all say the same thing- they can manage the symptoms, but they can’t cure the problem. And it could go on for anywhere from 6-12 more weeks. Then, if we’re lucky, she’ll get a break and feel great, until 3rd trimester when we have to think about the possibility of all kinds of complications because apparently in pregnancy, 32 ain’t so young and especially if you’re having twins, it’s all so much more likely to go wrong in some way. The babies could end up being born premature and spend weeks in the NICU with underdeveloped lungs, respiratory distress, Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome… Rory could experience placental abruption or postpartum hemorrhaging… Dad, there are so many things that could go wrong… and I just- what the fuck am I supposed to do?” He ran his hands through his hair, his elbows on his knees… feeling completely lost and horribly alone in trying to deal with it all.

“I’m sorry that this is just one more thing to add to the list of disappointments from me, I know exactly how important the Huntzberger Legacy is to you- but right now, the only thing I give two shits about is my family- me and Rory and our children, and I need to be there for them, all three of them, I need to help take care of them- I just know that if I don’t, I’ll never be able to live with myself. I don’t want to be that kind of dad or partner, the kind of man, who spends so much time at the office that he misses Little League games and dance recitals… I want to be around for their first steps and first words and everything else. I’m going to fall short, _a lot_ , but that’s what I’m going to try for. I just don’t want to be…” He trailed off at that point, obviously he couldn’t finish that thought.

“You don’t want to be like me you mean?”

“Oh come on, that’s not what I said.”

“You don’t have to- what am I going to do, deny it? I missed a lot with you and Honor, I pushed _you_ especially hard. I sent you away to camps and schools and we didn't have a lot of Father-Son moments, the two of us, but hat’s what we did back then. I was raised by an impossible bastard, I raised you like he raised me. It’s what we did to keep the company going- HPG is an important company in the world, it has been for 125 years. I don’t have the luxury of only thinking about my kids- what we do matters. We can’t ignore the importance of a free press, it’s how average citizens are kept informed and able to understand the world in which they live- and our family, the Huntzberger family, makes sure that happens. Not to mention the fact that we employ how many people around the world? Tens of thousands, we have a responsibility- if we don’t fight these fights, if we don’t keep everything going, in a day of bloggers and news aggregators and all of that shit, what happens? What happens to Democracy? To the empowered and educated citizenry? Fuck- what happens to the 10,000 people employed in our paper plants around the world because we’re no longer publishing newspapers? Other people rely on us, we can't let them down.”

Logan actually didn’t know what to say. It’s not that he couldn’t recite these arguments in his sleep, he’d heard them, to one degree or another since he could remember. But this was the first time in his life that his dad’s constant absence from his life felt like there was, at least a little bit, noble? He was right, what Mitchum cared about most was the news, and HPG. His father genuinely believed that the company and the importance of the “Fourth Estate” were so important- not even selfishly to his finances, but to the world at large (haha, no pressure), his own children weren’t even as important- it was King Huntzberger’s version of _Noblesse Oblige._ It wasn’t personal, just the way that it was.

“I understand that, I actually do. But come on, I have two VPs in London who are more than capable of taking it over. To be honest, Bobby will end up being better than me in a year or two- she’s bordering on too capable for the job and with the support of Ian, the office is going to flourish. We’ll need to appoint someone to oversee the transition team in Japan for the next year, the EU is simple and far enough along I trust it to continue as it has been; worst case scenario, I know that Ethan’s team can manage it- even with all of this Brexit nonsense- no one understands it better or is more connect than that team.

“In Japan, we need to add a few people just because of the language and culture barrier being a bit more intense to navigate, Grant and Adam have been manning the Analyst desk in Tokyo for a while and are up for a promotion, if we do that, they have contacts at many of the universities and a few literary circles who can bring in writers of a caliber that will actually strengthen us. Move Marissa R. up to Chief Administrative Officer of the London office and we’re actually operating above the level we are now. See, you don’t need me to be over there!

“And I’m sure you’re really upset that I want to pull back so much, so quickly, it's just what I need to do. So, I want a year. I can work remotely, but never more than 30 hours a week. I want to be around to help Rory, now while she's sick and needs help just getting around, but also when they're born. I want to bring them home from the hospital and help with feedings and see their first smiles, hear their first laughs.

“You can think that’s irresponsible to the family and our legacy and all of that, but I want to be there for _my_ family. I want to be with Rory every step of the way, I want her to feel like she can trust me as her actual partner, not just the father of children- she’s got some experience with dads not pulling their weight and I don't want to make her watch it all over again.

"And hey, think about it  this way, if I’m around, I just might be able to convince her to consider calling our kids Huntzbergers.” Ok, his dad definitely raised his eyebrows at that one, how could his grandchildren through his only son possibly not be Huntzbergers? If they weren’t, who was next in line? The question showed on his face because Logan cut him off before he voiced it.

“No, Dad, I’m sorry- I’m not ready to fight her on that one, I’m not going to go to the mat on their last name. And I see the wheels turning in your head right now, but you know her, you know that there is no amount of money you can pay her to _make_ her name them Huntzbergers. Don’t get me wrong, I’d pretty much kill for them to have my last name, but I need Rory to be “there”... right now I know she loves me, I know that she wants to have these kids with me… And that’s the extent of what I know.

“I love my job, most of the time. I actually don’t mind the familial responsibility, especially if you can bring Mom around on the whole Odette/Dynastic Plan fiasco and it’s implosion. I’d be doubly grateful if you can get her to stop her comments about Rory- I mean, come on- she’s a Gilmore _and_ a Hayden and her mother’s inn has been one of the top 10 in New England for 6 years in a row- they’re expanding to a point that Finn’s family has her name on their radar! But I’m sorry, I don’t care what my family name is, I don’t care how many jobs it costs or the so-called impact on society as a whole, there are people who are qualified to take my job who don’t bear the Huntzberger name- and there are hundreds of people who would be happy to hire me if I leave- which I am absolutely prepared to do if that's what my family needs."

And with that, Logan looked at his watch, it was 6:00. He was thoroughly exhausted and thinking he just might call the service and be driven back to the hospital, but then his dad- out of nowhere spoke.

“Look, Logan, you probably don’t believe me, but I’m proud of you. You’re right, you’ve come a really long way from your Life and Death Brigade days. Not to mention, you really were onto something when you suggested we move more aggressively in the digital space- I’m a big enough man to admit I was wrong about that. I’m also proud of you for stepping up, taking on fatherhood like you are- it's unexpected, but I have to say it isn't at all unwelcome." He sat there, digesting everything that had been thrown at him. For a few minutes they sat in silence, but it was one of the more companionable silences Logan could ever remember between the two of them. "Tell you what, why don’t we drive out to Hartford together? I need to hear more about Rory’s situation, maybe I can make some calls, figure something out… I don’t know about a leave of absence, but let’s put our heads together and come up with a solution. Then, once we’re there, I can stop in and tell your mother what’s going on, you can see Rory… maybe we could even swing by Honor’s and split the responsibility of keeping her in check at the idea of _two_ nieces or nephews to spoil? What do you say?” And with that he actually smiled. 

Logan didn’t know if he was going to go along with this human-like form in front of him-  this person who looked like Mitchum, sounded like Mitchum… but acted absolutely nothing like the man he grew up with. Logan was clearly through the looking glass… but really unclear how he should go from there.


	15. Betrayal By Coffee and Inn-teresting Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein a solution for Rory's housing is found and Chris and Logan have a heart-to-heart about the Gilmore Girls. 
> 
> Also, exactly how rich is Rory at this point? Trust Fund from Trix, Richard MUST have left her something... nothing from the Haydens at this point? Sometimes it's harder to write her financial woes. 
> 
> And finally, I'm taking suggestions for twin gender combos... I've got two scenarios I'm really intrigued by for different reasons, what are your thoughts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to apologize for the pun in that chapter name.

Logan had been gone all day and Rory had been anxious, who knew how Mitchum was going to react to the multiple bombshells about to be dropped on him. The anxiety had done nothing to help Rory’s symptoms, she hadn’t even been able to eat the dry toast that had quickly become the main staple of her diet and Lorelai was thinking about talking to the doctors about some kind of anxiety medication, possibly for both her _and_ Rory- she was having some trouble coming to terms with having to watch her beautiful, brilliant daughter like this for yet another 6-12 weeks- she had no idea if she had the ability to do that and maintain any kind of sanity.

Lorelai had expected Logan would be back by 4:00, wanting to miss the traffic out of the city, and using any excuse available to get away from Mitchum as quickly as possible, but at 6:15 she got a text from him saying, “Longer convo than expected. Cautiously optimistic. Still going to worry if he pulls out a cannoli.” Well, at least that was something. She sat down with her fresh cup of coffee, Chris had bought a decent single cup machine for the Nurses’ Station as both a thank you for their dedication to his daughter and grandbabies, but also to make sure that he and Lorelai had something decent to drink during the long hours they were spending there.

Luke was holding down the fort back in Star’s Hollow, taking care of the diner, checking in on the house, making sure Sookie and Michel hadn’t yet come to blows over anything at the Inn, and while he visited frequently, he was trying to be respectful of Logan and Christopher’s time with Rory… not to mention, even this new, more relaxed Nantucket Emily was still a person he preferred in very small doses- Paris even smaller, less frequent ones.

Lorelai sat in the waiting area while Chris was in with Rory, thumbing through a pregnancy book she had found in Rory’s room- _Dude, You’re Gonna Be a Dad!_ She chuckled a bit at the way that Logan had gone completely overboard the second he found out he was going to be father- the next day the hospital had received a massive box from Amazon with at least 12 books on pregnancy and parenthood, prenatal yoga, hypnobirthing (Lorelai had to shudder a bit at that one, power to the women who wanted that, but she’d take a nice big epidural any day of the week) and just about everything else that existed in this About-to-have-a-kid-lit genre. He had also bought special pregnancy pillows for Rory, wrist bands with magnets to help with the nausea (massive fail, unfortunately), ginger pops, white noise machines and at least 6 different lotions/balms for her belly to help avoid stretch marks and God knows what else.

It had been a little bittersweet watching those two, in Rory’s better moments, how in love they were and excited but also terrified about impending parenthood. She knew that her and Luke had made the right decision to not have a kid at this point, maybe five years ago it would have been different. And they were actually really glad to not have kids so they could be more present for Rory and Logan now, especially with twins on the way… but she couldn’t help but smile a little sadly at how fun it would have been to go through this with Luke- to have the battle over how much coffee in a day is ok, seeing him panic and freak out about babyproofing the house the second that he found out they were pregnant, bickering over names and godparents and spending time wondering when they’d feel the baby kick for the first time, who it would look like more…

Around 7 she was interrupted by her thoughts as Chris came out of Rory’s room, indicating she was asleep as he went for coffee, perfectly timed with Logan’s return. She looked up noticing that instead of the harried look of anger and frustration she had expected after a meeting with the Dark Lord, he actually was smiling just a little bit and looking, well, lighter than she had seen him in a few days.  

“Hey Logan, how did things go? How did you Mitchum take the news that he’s going to be a grandpa?” Chris really liked the guy and they’d actually had some pretty good time bonding when both visiting at the same time. (Well, in all fairness,he didn’t _love_ the way that this whole conception situation had happened, but in all fairness, it was Rory, there was a good chance even were she married and 40 he probably would have been a little weirded out by it.)

Logan moved to sit, running a hand through his hair, leaving it a bit messier and spiked as they spoke, but he wasn’t as fidgety as he had been the last few days in anticipation of the meeting. When he looked up, resting his elbows on his knees he just smiled just a little bit.

“Actually, I’m still kind of in shock over who the man I spent the afternoon talking to was… it went pretty well.”

“Really?” No one was more surprised by it than Logan, but Lorelai was a _very_ close second.

“Yeah, I mean, we’re still hammering out some details, but I’m going to be transferring back to the States, effective immediately. I’ll be working mostly remotely, but I’ll have to do one or two days a week in New York and I got him to agree to a max of 30 hours/week, absolutely _no_ weekends, barring a global crisis of some kind- the same goes for travel. I’ll have to spend some time in the city for some Board meetings, and we think there are two investor events I may have to attend, but they’ll be during months 4 and 5 most likely, so Rory may even feel up to coming with me.” Everyone kept from knocking wood and crossing their fingers on that one, they weren’t at all sure what to expect for the next seven months, they were all just along for the ride.

“Wow! You’re kidding me! How did you get him to agree to all that?”

“You know what? I’m still not entirely sure and I honestly didn’t want to question it too much in case he changed his mind. It was kind of a surreal meeting, sort of thought maybe it was doppelganger of my father programmed to do the opposite of whatever the real Mitchum would do.Then there was some scotch, a reference to Victor Hugo, which I still need to Google, and a hug that was almost not entirely awkward.” The kid looked dazed as he sat there, completely confused.

“Wow, that’s great Logan, you did good- Rory is going to be so happy that you’re back in town to stay. How did your dad take the news about the babies?” Lorelai had to admit that she had spent a lot of the day imagining the various scenarios when Mitchum found out about his precious heir to the Huntzberger Legacy having not one but two illegitimate children with a _Gilmore_ … she still had no idea what his family’s problem with Rory’s lineage was all about, but she assumed it was still there.  

“I think I’ll know better once I look into Victor Hugo, he said something about that in the car… long story short, I have a feeling it’s about grandchildren win everyone over in the end. We even went to tell my sister together- she’s over the moon, crazy excited and I had to tell her that visiting hours were very strictly enforced here or we’d already have her screaming in Rory’s room as we speak… watch out for _Hurricane Honor_ tomorrow, by the way. And now… now my dad is falling on his sword for me… he’s on his way to tell my mother the wonderful news.”

“Wow, that should be some entertaining human drama.”

“Yeah, who knows? I was pretty sure he was going to disown as I walked into his office today, so I feel like all bets are off at this point. I know that she’s really anxious to get some more grandkids… I just hope that she can be at least the tiniest bit gracious…” He really didn’t want to think about what he was going to do if things between his mother and Rory continued to be at all icy like they were ten years ago- and weirdly enough, Rory turning him down had really only cemented his mom’s poor opinion of her “suitability” for him. Then again, it wasn’t really that she’d accused Rory of being a gold-digger, that was something she could probably excuse and defend (after all, it takes one to know one), but that Rory wouldn’t fit into her role as Logan’s wife and mother to the next generation of publishing tycoons, not in the way Shira expected that role to be filled. She just didn’t understand how _that_ was just another item on the long list of reasons why Logan knew she was the one for him.

“I’m really glad I got that we seem to have worked something out, it’s freeing me up to focus on Part B of the plan- getting Rory out of here. I know she’s going crazy and while she’ll be feeling pretty cooped up no matter where she is so long as this lasts, I think getting her a change of scenery, a few more comforts of home would really help, she’s getting depressed, I can see it getting worse everyday and that can’t be helping anything. So I thought between the three of us, we could come up with some place she could camp out for the next 6-12 weeks that isn’t as expensive or lavish as the ones she’s repeatedly rejected.”

A lot of the suggestions Logan had made, upgrading to a fancy private room in a hospital in New York or getting an apartment in Manhattan or buying a house in Stars Hollow had all been met with resounding no’s from Rory- she was not going to let him spend money like that on her “just because she didn’t feel well right now.”

“Maybe we just need to come up with something that isn’t so lavish, something she can contribute towards somehow. Or maybe just something that doesn’t feel like someone is just throwing money at it- at her. I mean, I’m perfectly fine with her coming home with me and Luke- we’ll find space for both of you . I know she’s worried about interrupting mine and Luke’s newlywed period, but come on- we’re almost 50, not 22.” There was an awkward pause there as no one in the room really wanted to stop and think about that, Logan and Chris especially. 

“I really liked Luke’s idea yesterday about the apartment over the diner.” Chris chipped in, turning to Lorelai. “Couldn’t we fix it up a little redecorate it a bit and both her and Logan would be comfortable there?”

“Yeah, I was really into that one, but I went by last night and I believe me, all those smells and that noise all day would kill her. I mean, we can’t even have coffee in the room anymore!” She turned to Logan, remembering suddenly she had a new detail to fill him in on. “Oh, that’s right, you weren’t here for the meltdown earlier. Coffee is a no-go in her room- the smell of coffee currently repulses her _while_ depressing her. I think that’s a win for the “no drinking coffee during pregnancy” side, but to see her as she realized it? The look of betrayal when she threw up at the smell? Devastating.” Logan nodded and took out his phone where he had been sweetly/creepily keeping a list of smells that she couldn’t be around. He quickly added coffee and grimaced, realizing how upset that had to make her.

“Well, she still thinks it’s a terrible idea for me to get an apartment when we don’t know where we’re going to end up in a few months and I offered to get us a hotel, we could get a nice penthouse suite or something, but again, the money thing.”

“Oh my god, that’s it! Wow, how did it take me this long to figure that one out? I swear, I really am getting old. I can have her at the Dragonfly!” Lorelai suddenly got really excited like she had finally cracked the code- the other two looked surprised and curious.

“Wow, Lore, that’s really nice, and I mean, the Inn is amazing, seriously, but wouldn’t she still feel cooped up in the room, and then all the noise from guests and the food smell there and the stairs…” Chris was looking at her like she was crazy, the rooms were lovely but not all that spacious and it ran a pretty brisk business, lots of guests coming and going whenever and the restaurant open most of the day- how was that any better than the apartment over the diner?

“Not _in the_ Inn, in the back!”

“Like in the barn?” Logan asked and she rolled her eyes.

“No, a few years ago I invested in a few more bungalows out back for longer term stays and more privacy-  the Honeymoon Cottage- basically our suite- was always sold out and we started to get more demand and we finally took the leap three or four years back. I can just have her stay in one of them- they’re really cute and nice and kind of like a studio apartment, there is a living area, the bed and a little efficiency kitchen, not that Sookie would allow either of you to cook for yourselves when her kitchen is 100 yards away. But seriously, they’re not lavish and no one has to pay any money to stay in it.”

“Well, sure, but what about the loss of business if she’s in one? I mean, I know what you charge for a room there,  6-12 weeks is a lot of nights without a substantial fee… One I’m more than happy to pay, obviously, but isn’t she going to get just as upset by that?”

“It’s the off-season, they’re never fully booked this time of year, it’s no lost revenue. Not to mention, I do rent them by the week and they’re not so horribly expensive- maybe somewhere between an apartment and a penthouse suite… or just a small one bedroom in Manhattan. But seriously, I doubt I have them fully booked for at least the next two months, that should give you guys time to figure out what’s next, get things squared away, and it’s right where I can check on her all the time, Lane can come by whenever and you’ll be free to take care of her all the time because there is maid service and Sookie… you may be the one putting on all the weight during this pregnancy in that case.” Logan sat back, amazed that they hadn’t thought of this solution sooner.

“I’ll tell you what, why don’t you go pitch this to her as soon as she wakes up- I have a feeling you’re the most convincing of the three of us. If you can get her on board, we can go as soon as they do the surgery for the PICC and I arrange for a home nurse to come by and help with the maintenance… I’m also going to have to learn to stick her with needles twice/day… and please don’t say _dirty_ … I have a thing about needles, it’s going to take some psyching myself up to be able to do that.” He did look like he was going to pass out just a touch as he mentioned needles, but it was good that he smiled a little bit as he preempted Lorelai’s obvious joke- they were finally bonding and while they all wished it was in better circumstances, it was still nice.

“Alright, but that’s only a one time pass, just so you know.” She smiled at him, reassuringly, then even squeezed his hand before she stood up to go and check on Rory, hoping she could get her on board and they could all say farewell to this iodine-scented establishment.

“Understood.” He smiled back, glad to finally have the beginning of a plan, to finally be moving towards something. He thought about trying to catch a quick nap, or maybe he’d grab the book he had been reading earlier when Chris coughed a little, fidgeting and looking nervous.

“Hey, Logan I think we should probably talk about something, you and me.” Uh-oh. Generally speaking these two had kept their conversations to private schools they had been kicked out of, cars, stereos, entertainment centers and sports… Was this a “hurt my daughter and they’ll never find the body” talk? Well, even if it was, Logan was pretty sure he could handle it- he didn’t have any intention of hurting Rory ever again.

“Um, sure, Chris… what’s on your mind?”

“I don’t know if she told you about telling me she was pregnant?” He looked at the kid’s face, trying to figure out how much he knew, how much to say.

“Umm, not a lot of details, just that you came by and she kind of broke down and blurted it all out. Also, that you really encouraged her to talk to me, to tell me everything and to give me a chance- for that I have to really thank you, by the way. I mean, I’m glad I had already removed my head from my ass and was coming to see her, but it means a lot to me that despite it all, you went to bat for me.” He actually had been wanting to say this for a few days, but hadn’t really had the chance. “I know you and Lorelai worry that I’m a lot like you and I’m going to… disappoint her-” he continued but was cut off by Chris.

“God no! Honestly? If I thought you were like me, I'd have kicked your ass already- the last thing Rory needs in her life is a guy too much like her old man. Actually, I don’t think you’re all that much like me… well, I mean, we’re both obviously charming and handsome guys”, they both smiled at that, “and we probably had a bit too much fun rebelling when we were kids… but come on, that’s really not you anymore- and the way that you’re here for Rory right now- the way that you have stepped up when you had to? I’m honestly blown away, I’m really glad that if there’s a guy in her life, it’s you.”

“Wow, Chris, thanks. That really means a lot- I want you to know that I’m not here because I _have_ to be; I honestly can’t think of anywhere else I would _want_ to be in these circumstances.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that- I believe that. But here’s the thing, I’ve been mulling over some things that she said when she told me she was pregnant and they’ve had me worried. Not about you, things she said about herself.” And with that Logan deflated just a bit, he was pretty sure knew exactly what Chris was talking about, something along the lines of how she was failure and had disappointed everyone and ruined everything.

“Yeah, she said some things to me that first night I was here, right after we found out about the twins. It was… intense.” And then he filled Chris in on the gist of what she had said and how he had tried to show her how untrue that was, but she just balked. Then he told her about the $2 million dream idea and Chris smiled, shaking his head and Logan suddenly wondered just how much money was squirreled away in trust funds she either didn’t know about or knew about and stubbornly refused to tap into. “I just don’t understand how she can sell herself short like and be _that_ hard on herself! It’s a tough industry to be in right now and she refuses to exploit connections or call in favors and sits around just berating herself instead for not being better. But I’m telling you, as objectively as I can, she’s got a gift.

“I just found out today that my father has been following her career in almost creepy detail- I may have to check the house for a secret serial killer wall of worship somewhere, just to be sure. He remember lines from things she wrote in 2008! If Mitchum thinks she’s talented, how can she possibly doubt herself?”

Chris smiled as he looked at this guy, Logan was so obviously Gilmored, a feeling he knew so well, it made him smile for his daughter, even if there was a tiny pang at what never really happened for him and Lorelai. But he shook it off as quickly as he could, needing to get this out.

“Well, see, that’s the thing Logan. I’m not worried that you’re too much like me, but I’m starting to worry that Rory is. Sure, she’s classic Lorelai in so much- looks, sense of humor, appalling eating habits and mind-boggling metabolism… but that internalised sense of failure and the crushing guilt that go along with it? That’s all Christopher Hayden.

“You see, I fucked up a lot when I was younger. Not only was I not even a little bit prepared to be a dad at 16, but I was insanely in love with Lorelai and when she not only wouldn’t marry me and go along with the whole “saving face” plan that our parents concocted, and then moved to Stars Hollow two years later to work as a maid at the Inn and live in a potting shed in the back? I really went off the rails at that point- I mean, I’d already disappointed my parents about as much as was humanly possible, so there really wasn’t any reason not to continue my downward spiral in the most spectacular of fashions. I’m telling you, it was women, drinking, occasionally drugs… But I had that Hayden understanding of the importance of keeping up appearances, so I hightailed it to the west coast where I was going to make it big and everyone would see I wasn’t actually a loser and a screw up. I made bad investments, tried to start a half dozen companies, none of them ever getting off the ground. Every time I ever got in too deep, Straub came in and bailed me out, I’d get a lecture and I’d go do it again.

“She had all of these plans, and for the longest time nothing stood in her way of getting to where she feels like she should be right now. In her mind, everyone sacrificed a lot to get her where she is- to help her through Chilton, through Yale, working as a stringer and freelancer for the last ten years… But she’s not Christianne Ammanpour, and that was the plan- that was the _only_ plan- no contingencies. She feels like she spent the last few years running away so she could save face- people couldn’t see everything going wrong, just the stuff that was going right- selective information. And now she’s hit a point where she can’t hide where she is anymore, and she’s feeling like we’re all here bailing her out. The problem is, she _IS_ Lorelai Gilmore’s daughter, so unlike me, she has too much pride to sit back and accept the help.” Chris sat back, he hadn’t really intended to say so much, but he figured in all their time together, Rory must have told him some pretty colorful stories about her old man, and he really thought Logan needed to understand what they were up against.

“I just don’t understand why it feels like we’re pitying her, giving her handouts. _Especially me_ \- I’m the father of the babies, it’s _my job_ to take care of them!” Logan had to admit that what Chris said made a lot of sense, it put some things in a new light, sure. But he was still so frustrated at the problem remaining, she _was_ being stubborn and not letting him do what he was supposed to be doing for his family.

“Well, I gotta say I’m probably partly to blame there, I didn’t exactly do a great job of showing either of them what a man was supposed to do back when she was younger, and then… by the time I did show up, Lorelai had it all covered, they didn’t _need_ me. So I think you’re going to have to fight that one out with her, because you’re right, it _is_ your job- and I’m glad to see you understand that.” There was a moment and then Chris spoke up again.

“I am looking for the right time, however, to let her know I already set up trusts for the kids, she’s going to be fairly livid about that one. Not to mention, it looks like my mom, Francine, wants to basically front her her inheritance now, not after she dies, which is also going to be a sore spot for her. Add that to what I know she already has and that girl could very likely never work again in her life, but that just isn’t what a Gilmore Girl does… you may as well learn to deal with that right now.” He winked at Logan as he stood, putting his hand on his shoulder and squeezing before he went to check in Rory, see how she was doing, leaving Logan to try and process everything- it had been a pretty long day for the guy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hugo quote is a bit mean, but I think serves a purpose here, "There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson." The point not being that Mitchum doesn't love Logan, but that not even a monster could hate his grandchild. 
> 
> This was a fun scene to write, between Logan and Chris- I really think it's important to explore all of the reasons that Rory was such a mess in AYITL, she honestly seemed to have a lot more in common with early series Christopher than she did with Lorelai, I really wanted to point out some parallels. Also, I kind of reject the idea that Logan=Chris, Rory=Lorelai... I think Rory is what most children are, a combo of her two parents and the rest of the people that raised her. Lorelai was 100% rejection of the Hartford world, so her ending up with Luke, someone who encouraged that rejection and hated that world as much as she did, that made sense (sorry, still Team Chris, but whatever, ASP has spoken). But Rory needed someone who was fine with her going back and forth, mixing and matching her life in a way that satisfied her as a person- who was fine with her being in the DAR and going to Yale, but also liked to kick it in Stars Hollow and spend time at the Diner and the Black, White and Read. Ask me, that is OBVIOUSLY not Jess, it's TOTALLY Logan. #Endrant


	16. Reconnecting With The Fitzgeralds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or the one where they finally address the original breakup.

“What about Zelda?”

“Ummm, the video game princess or the used bipolar, schizophrenic flapper?”

“For a girl?”

Rory stopped typing in her laptop, looking up at Logan who was reading on the loveseat.

“You mean, as a name?” Logan smiled at her.

“Yes, as a name.”

She sighed, smiling at him and rolling her eyes just a little. “Which one are you reading now?”

“ _The_ _Beautiful and the Damned_.” He had been caught- she knew how there were a few authors he would revisit periodically when he was going through something. When Logan was in emotional turmoil he didn’t want to read something new, it was too hard to concentrate. Instead he liked to revisit something old and familiar, kind of like a security blanket. His go-to authors were generally Hemingway, Vonnegut and, today’s pick, Fitzgerald. “So, what do you think?”

“Oh, great book.” She was distracted, trying to get an article done for _The Gazette_ while she was having a pretty good day.

“I meant as a name, what do you think of Zelda?” She looked up at him, her nose squinched up and wrinkly as she pulled a face like something smelled bad. “I think that the fact that I had to ask if you meant the video game princess or the insane author, it’s a no.”

“Come on, can’t you see it? Little Zelda, running around- sassy and brilliant and gorgeous, taking the world by storm- like her namesake _and_ her mother?” She smiled back at him, but was still distracted by _The Gazette_ article on her laptop, only half paying attention to him as she tried to finish up her thoughts on the latest Taylor proposal-- putting in _another_ stop light in town. She was typing like her life depended on it, like she was racing against time, he started to speak again but she held up one hand for a second, fingers dancing across the keys until she finally hit the last key, did her ctrl-save and then…

Was up and running to the bathroom, barely making it in time to throw up in the toilet. Logan followed, trying not to let his frustration with her show- the paper wasn’t more important than her health and he really hated when she tried to act like it was. Just like always, he was right there next to her, holding her hair back and getting a cold, damp cloth for the back of her neck. He rubbed her back in soft circles and the gagging stopped relatively quickly. She sat up, breathing hard and he got her a cup of mouthwash and some water so she could rinse out her mouth. She leaned back against the bathtub while he looked at her, that same look he got every time this happened- as though he was gearing up to say their final goodbyes in _Love Story_.

“That wasn’t so bad, actually. I feel like the bouts are getting less severe when they happen- hell, I haven’t seen blood in at least a week. And in between the bouts, I’m actually feeling pretty good- as long as I stick to the blandest diet known to man, this is really becoming a walk in the park. And I got my article done- I swear, the conclusion wasn’t coming and it wasn’t coming and then all of a sudden I felt sick, but I really wanted to get the article done and posted so I worked against the clock and a conclusion just happened and I think it’s genuinely punchy.” He just grimaced as she tried to put a spin on it for him, she was always doing that, she hated how sick she was, felt guilty that he was stuck dealing with her vomit, the sleeping all the time, the never ending changes to things she could stand to smell… and she couldn’t stand the sad look in his eyes when she got sick- but nothing she said would keep him away from her while she was going through this.

“Ace, you don’t have to do that, I don’t need you to downplay it, I don’t need you to try and make me laugh or to cheer me up. I want you to worry about _you_ , not me.” They had this conversation about once a day, she was worried about him and he was worried about her and it lead to a pretty vicious cycle of almost crushing guilt.

He helped her stand up so she could go back to bed while he went to get her some Gatorade, she needed electrolytes after these incidents, the IV helped, but she was supposed to get as many nutrients and calories the _normal_ way as she could. He got her a blue Gatorade and brought it to her in bed, checking the levels of her fluids for her PICC and they seemed about right, the Nurse was coming by tomorrow to change them and flush the system, replenish some of her meds and all that.

Either the episode really hadn’t been nearly as bad as usual, or they were just getting more used to it because moments later she was able to semi-sit in the bed, the covers around her, and she was breathing normally again, no longer sweating and everything seemed just like it had been a few minutes ago before she ran to the bathroom. He leaned in to kiss her on the forehead, smiling, it was great that she was feeling and even looking almost normal and healthy.

“Tell you what, why don’t you lie down for a bit? You got your article done, you spent some time on your book this morning, it’s been a good day all in all but you could probably use some rest. How about you lie down and I’ll read to you? You know the story as well as I do, I can go around and pick out some of my favorite passages.”

“Really?” Her eyes got all bright and twinkly like they did when she got excited about something- it never ceased to make him laugh how excited she got about such tiny things- she really didn’t care about expensive gifts or grand gestures, she just lover the small things he did for her.

“Yeah, of course. It’ll be good practice for when these two get out.” He stroked her belly, something he had started doing more often lately and they both enjoyed.

“Think we’ll start them off on Fitzgerald right out of the gate- or should we start with something a bit more accessible, like _Just So Stories,_ or maybe _Aesop’s Fables_?”

“Nah, we’re talking about our kids, they’re going to be geniuses out of the gate. I’m thinking we go straight for Dostoevsky and Swift. Or maybe even your beloved Pushkin.” He smiled at her, they were both remembering when he found her sniffing a book at the Library, one of their earlier meetings as she gave someone a tour of the campus. He pulled her as close as he could and he kissed her sweetly on the lips and then the crown of her head before diving into the love story of Anthony and Gloria.

Rory just sat and enjoyed the sound of his voice as he jumped around to his favorite parts, wondering which scenes he was going to read next. He had an amazingly rich voice that was very emotive, him and Fitzgerald were a heady combination and she just enjoyed being there, in this moment. About ½ hour into the reading she finally peered at the book, noticing something.

“Logan, what’s with the all the underlining and the notes scribbled in the margins?”

“It’s an old book Ace, settle down, I’m trying to read to you.”

“Wait, did you do all of that? They’re your notes? Ooh, let me look, I’m curious now, I want to see what you marked, what you said.”

“Don’t worry about it, they’re just notes and stuff. A few snarky comments about the guy named Dick Caramel, a dirty sketch of Gloria and a few places I wrote in Harvard Sucks- you know, scholarly stuff.” He tried to pull the book away from her prying eyes and her grabby hands, attempting to hide it from her.

“Nice try, Logan, you can’t draw and you’d never defile a book like that even if you could sketch your own pornographic masterpiece. What, are you afraid that I’ll see that you actually studied occasionally back in school, worried that will ruin your street cred?” She was teasing him, sure, but starting to wondering why he was being so weird.

“No, I didn’t have this book at Yale, I think my street cred remains in tact.”

“Wait, this was after Yale?”

“Ace, don’t worry about it.”

“What is going on, Logan? You’re being kinda weird and cagey and dodgy.” The playful look on her face from a minute ago had vanished and now she was genuinely just puzzled and a bit weirded out. He sighed, her eyes were too expressive, he could always tell just what she was thinking and he could see this wasn’t going to go just away without an explanation.

“Fine, Ace, I’ll tell you. I always loved Fitzgerald- even if he did go to Princeton, but I didn’t really get into this book, which sometimes reads to me like my autobiography I gotta say, until I was wandering around a bookstore after... “

“After…?”

“When I was in San Francisco.” _Oh_. Her face fell and he really didn’t want to look at her- he hated thinking about that time, immediately after their idiotic breakup that had robbed them of so many years they could have been together and happy.

“So, you mean, after…” _Oh, you mean after I turned down your proposal and the house you bought and a whole life that you planned without consulting me, and then you gave me the ultimatum and we broke up and were both miserable for years following that?”_

“Yeah.”

“So these notes? The underlining…?”

“Yes, they are all part of my sad and pathetic thoughts; notes on how you were the Zelda to my F. Scott… or the Gloria to my Anthony, occasionally you were my Daisy Buchanan- it changed from day to day, depending on my mood… These were just things that resonated with me or made me think about things.” His voice was thick with emotion, she could tell there were tears in his eyes.

She hesitantly looked up at him, not wanting to push too much, but genuinely curious.

“Can I see?”

“What, the things that I wrote?”

“Yeah, I want to know what resonated… what you were thinking about.” He leaned into kiss her softly on the lips, but then cupped her face with his hands and looked into her eyes.

“I was thinking that I was miserable, that I made a horrible mistake and sometimes I even wished I was gay so I could just marry Colin or Finn because the idea of going out and ever dating again just felt like some Blacksite/rendition level torture.”

They settled in for a few moments, thinking about that awful time and not really sure whether or not to address the elephant in the room. Finally Rory broke the quiet.

“So?”

“So what, Ace?”

“So, are we ever going to talk about it?”

“What do you mean?” She sighed in frustration.

“Come on Logan, you know- we didn’t see each other between _that day_ \--” She was still a wuss and didn’t like to talk abou the _Day That Would Not Be Named_ . “And Germany, which, let’s be fair, we didn’t really _talk_ about much in Germany… and then we never really talked about it ever… and then Vegas happened, I mean, we were in London, but we had the whole Vegas thing happening. And then I went to Amsterdam, but we met in Barcelona and it sort of came up then, and then there was New Hampshire a few months ago and we still haven’t really talked about any of it, are we ever going to? And sure, I know that all I really did just now is give you a litany of places that doesn’t really speak to our situation and you’re probably really confused about everything that I’ve said in the last 2 minutes and I’m going to shut up now and just, you know, die from embarrassment.”

Rory turned away from him and pulled the blanket up over her face, she could feel the burning of her cheeks as she blushed from absolute humiliation. She had _not_ intended to bring this up- at least not now, she really wasn’t sure if she intended to ever bring it up. But she couldn’t deny that ever since Germany happened, all of these conversations had been bubbling in the back of her head and they had been having, surprisingly, a really great time reconnecting since being moved from the hospital to this cottage at the Dragonfly (absent the disgusting bouts of nausea and vomit and the sore muscles, aching feet, and hormone swings). And now that her brain got away from her mouth, (not not her favorite side effect of pregnancy) she couldn’t believe she brought it up like this- here and now.

He just turned over and shook her shoulder and she couldn’t tell from his voice if he was worried or trying not to laugh. “Ace, hey, come on… Rory, seriously?” She just called out from under the blanket- muffled as she was talking into a pillow.

“Rory isn’t here right now, but if you leave a message at the beep, she may remember to call you back before she dies of embarrassment.”

“Rory, hey, come here, you aren’t getting away from me that easy.” While she heard some concern in his voice, she definitely heard the smile this time, he always did enjoy teasing her about things, especially on the occasions (the all too frequently occurring occasions lately) when she let her mind wander out loud. But she refused to look up at him or peek out over the comforter- she was mortified and not at all interested in his teasing at the moment. And the humiliation lasted for a while, she usually maxed out at 1 or 2 minutes, but he waited patiently for at least five before he finally said something. Then with no warning whatsoever, other than a short clearing of the throat and the ruffling of the pages she heard him.

“I had traded the fight against love for the fight against loneliness, the fight against life for the fight against death.” _What exactly was that supposed to mean?_ And then there was another ruffling of pages, he muttered under his breath to himself before speaking again, “And that taught me you can't have anything, you can't have anything at all. Because desire just cheats you. It's like a sunbeam skipping here and there about a room. It stops and gilds some inconsequential object, and we poor fools try to grasp it-” She heard the raw emotion in his voice, the pain behind what he was saying as his voice faltered. “But when we do the sunbeam moves on to something else, and you've got the inconsequential part, but the glitter that made you want it is gone.”

Still nothing, no reaction at all from her- she was still, she was breathing, but she gave no indication she even understood what was happening. Then he moved down in the bed against her, putting the book on the nightstand, slipping himself under the cover and facing her big, beautiful blue eyes in the dim light that seeped through the coverlet. He stroked her cheek as he looked at her, and recited from memory,

“She was incomprehensible, for, in her, soul and spirit were one—the beauty of her body was the essence of her soul. She was that unity sought for by philosophers through many centuries. In this outdoor waiting room of winds and stars she had been sitting for a hundred years, at peace in the contemplation of herself.”

Rory’s eyes teared up- was it genuine emotion and feelings of love overwhelming her, or just pregnancy hormones? She couldn’t tell anymore, but she wasn’t sure it mattered. Before she could say anything in the very dim light of the world under their blanket he spoke.

“That was the passage that almost broke me the first time I read it… I broke down, he was talking about you. I just… I went on a four day bender, not even Finn could keep up with me, Colin actually suggested we stop drinking.” He was running his hand up and down her side, kind of staring blankly off to space, remembering one of the least pleasant times of his life. And then he pulled himself back down to speak face-to-face with her.

“Before I met you, I had no interest in, or expectation of, ever being in love- it seemed like a hassle- I actually fought against dating anyone I thought could be special. Companionship and hopefully mutual respect seemed the most I could hope for. And then, one day, outside of Branford Hall, my idiot friend from Australia came looking for a girl, a girl who to this day we still can’t figure out what her name was. And I had a conversation, a debate or a fight, I suppose it depends on who you ask, and I was a love-sick fool from that point on. But, being the Village Idiot that I was, I fought it. In fact, it wasn’t until said girl used her incredible brains, showing gumption and a sense of adventure and persistence, not to mention a few wiles, and infiltrated the most secret of secret societies, that I conceded to even liking her. She joined us on a safari in the exotic wilds of rural, upstate New York and I realized exactly how deeply she was imprinted on my heart- and that’s before we ever even kissed or slept together, even before she stole a yacht with me- she was the Bonnie to my Clyde, what other choice did a poor sucker like me possibly have than to fall madly in love with her?”

“So when I realized I had, I freaked out. I’d like to think we ultimately moved past that initial, knee-jerk reflex, and then life became… well… even the time we were apart, with me in cosmopolitan London and her in idyllic New Haven, were still some of the best months of my life. And then so much happened- with my dad, with my bad business investment- my needing to break away, California… everything went crazy and I freaked out. She was _the_ good thing in my life.” He was smirking at her and she had no choice but to smile back and nod that his secret was safe with her.

“And yeah, we had a talk about factoring each other in and I thought I had done that. But, I can look back and admit I didn’t even come close.” He kissed her, softly and sweetly, breathing in her scent- which had changed in the last few weeks from perfume and coffee to lavender shampoo, mouthwash and Gatorade- and he still absolutely loved it- he was such a sap, he just loved her so much, absolutely every last thing about her. With both hands cupping her face, he rested his forehead against hers for a minute, just wanting to live in this moment, his eyes may have had a few tears pooled in them, which you could hear in his voice, but he wanted to say this.

“Rory, of course now I realize, If I was really factoring you in, I probably would have had an adult conversation with you about our future. Something like, I am absolutely, insanely, hopelessly in love with you and that just isn’t ever going to change. If I’m being very honest with myself, I never thought I’d get to this point, find the person- someone I actually wanted to spend the rest of my life with, someone I genuinely wanted to have a family with- fuck, I didn’t even know until you that I wanted any of that at all… but I do, I want those things, _if_ I can have them with you.” He took a minute to kiss her, her eyes were so wide with surprise he couldn’t help himself. “And I am _not_ proposing, not right now… but I’d like to think that we have the same goals for our future, that we’re on the same page, heading in the same direction, that we both agree that at some point we want those things- so can you tell me now, is there _any_ chance you want any of that, with me?”

The air was heavy and neither could tell if it was because they were under a hand quilted coverlet or because the tension was so thick. Rory tried to stick it out, staring into his eyes but not saying anything, but ultimately she had to call “chicken” and get out from the stifling air under there. Because, no, he hadn’t ever _actually_ broached the topic with her- they had literally never had a conversation about how they felt about marriage (beyond how it was expected for him, or that horrible dinner at his parents and how she wasn’t the kind of girl who should marry into the family), they had barely even touched on the topic of children- nothing beyond “if I ever had a kid, I would…” or “hey, that’s a cute name”... that was the kind of communication regarding a future they had indulged in. Ever.

She should have known though that with her having just puked half a lung up 15 minutes ago, the chances of her being able to get out of the bed and not pass out from nausea or vertigo were slim. And she really wasn’t sure she was prepared for him to seriously look to her for answers to the questions he just asked her. But damn that boy, he took her face and pulled it towards him, they faced each other, his fingers running through her hair, he looked anxious and she was blushing- together they were just a beautifully hot mess, weren’t they?

“Logan, I-” Her brain was racing a million miles an hour and he needed to stop it, he pulled her to him and kissed her, unsure what to say- this was a lot. After all, this was a very real conversation about feelings and the future and past mistakes between her and the baby daddy, who she was still so in love with. But, if she stopped to think about it all, he _just_ broke off his engagement and his family hates her, she wasn’t totally sure how her family felt about him, and life was suddenly so incredibly complicated _without_ trying to make this relationship work… And neither of them were entirely prepared to deal with the answers to any of those big, heavy questions or how to go forward or what they were going to do long-term- and the need to _not talk_ overtook them, they both just crashed into each other’s lips, needing to ignore the questions in their heads, the thoughts of what was happening around them and just be together.

They hadn’t kissed like this in months- definitely not since New Hampshire, since the twins had come into being, in fact. She had felt bad about it too- he’d done this whole grand, romantic gesture of crossing the Atlantic, the second he and Odette were over, to see Rory. But she’d been so sick since he got here, they’d barely kissed for longer than a few seconds since his arrival. But right now, in this moment, despite the last few weeks, she was feeling good and wanted to connect. And that had nothing to do with the fact that it had been _months_ since either of them had gotten laid- how their reunion had gone very differently in reality than either had expected or hoped for.

Logan had hoped, when he got on that plane in London, that he’d get weeks in some kind of remote, sandy, private location, just the two of them, maybe dressed in palm fronds, fig leaves and coconut bras (for Rory, he hoped he could get out of the coconut bra himself); but she was sick, and they had barely kissed since he showed up in Connecticut. Not that he was dumb enough to complain about it, he would never, but right now she was nibbling on his bottom lip and moaning as he deepened the kiss and ran his hand down her side, tracing her still incredibly curvy form, pausing on her incredible ass for some extra attention, causing her to thrust her hips towards him, looking for friction and his brain was short-circuiting.

But this was the best she had felt in weeks, she felt good- she was happy and feeling reasonably well and she was insanely in love with this man kissing her. They kissed and she demanded entrance to his mouth, their tongues tangling for a bit--  he was panting, she had him _actually_ panting, like a dog- seriously, it was as though he was a mutt coming back from a brisk walk. Then, without any warning, she hooked a leg under his torso and using all of her strength (which certainly didn’t feel like much these days), she pulled him over on top, silently begging him to grind against her- to which he just as silently answered _yes ma’am._

As they ground against each other he put one hand at her waist, and then slowly began to work his way up, under her shirt, noticing quickly that she was not wearing a bra- cupping her full breasts and taking a moment to realize how much larger and softer they had become with this pregnancy. He ghosted his fingers over her nipples, exciting them, spending a minute rolling them between his fingers for good measure before he leaned over and brought one into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue, sucking just a bit, trying to be careful, she had mentioned recently they were super sensitive- but the loud “Logan” she shouted let him know everything was more than ok.

And then he felt her tiny, delicate hands running themselves just beneath the waistband of his jeans, unbuckling his belt before dipping below to grasp his cock- throbbing at even the promise of attention, making him genuinely question how long he could possibly last after so many weeks of tension with no release. She moved further down, her hand around his balls, massaging them for a minute before she came back and began to pump him, making sure he was as hard as possible, before they managed to finally get rid of his jeans and he was clawing her yoga pants down as quickly as possible.  

He kissed his way down her abdomen, stopping and playing with her belly button, making her giggle- God, he loved the sound of her giggle- but it didn’t stop him from continuing to move further down, replacing her giggle with an intense, deep moan. He could smell her arousal, he couldn’t believe how well he recognized that smell- it had been so long and just couldn’t hold himself back any longer before plunging two fingers inside her, listening to her moan his name long and low… And then suddenly he couldn’t wait, it wasn’t enough, he wanted to taste her- he had read in one of his books that she might taste a little different, he wanted to know, he wanted to experience that.

Wow, this was her absolute favorite thing ever, he was the only guy she had ever been with who had been particularly good at this. Not that she had a list of lovers to rival Mae West, but in her experience, there were three kinds of men in the world- guys who wouldn’t do this; guys who would, but had no idea what they were doing and it was awful and awkward and uncomfortable; and guys who knew what they were doing and it was good-- and very few men fell into the third category. But Logan? Logan _owned_ that last category.

His velvety tongue worked it’s way up and down, alternating between percussive movements and licking her entire length. She was moaning and becoming infinitely wetter and more desperate for release. She ran her fingers through his hair and said his name, he could feel her getting close- he could taste her getting close as she bucked towards him. Just as she was beginning to think she couldn’t possibly feel any better, he used his teeth to nibble on her clit while he slipped his fingers back into her continuing the pressure until it was more than she could handle and she cried out- so happy, calling his name and moaning, feeling like she was flying as she came down from the most delicious high. He just held her against him, breathing hard, trying to catch her breath.

She felt amazing, she wanted to collapse, but it wasn’t enough, not yet. Right now she really wanted to feel him, have him inside of her- she didn’t know if she’d ever needed him quite so much. Maybe it was the bliss she was feeling, the love she had for him or the pregnancy hormones, but she needed him desperately. For the first time since Yale they were both available and in the same place and madly in love with each other and she just needed him more than she had ever needed anyone.

“Logan, please, I need you, right now, I just really really need inside me.” He looked up from down there, his smile wider than his face, he kissed her belly button one more time and she happily took his cock in her hands, playing with his impressive length, listening to him moan as he positioned himself over her, rubbing himself against her core, letting her slickness cover him, he moved to enter her. And then suddenly she looked at him, panic playing across her face- “Wait, Logan, do you have…?” She looked at him, intentionally, eyebrow raised in question…

“What? Do I have what?” He was genuinely puzzled and not overly thrilled that she was pausing at _this_ moment exactly.

“You know, do you have… condom, Logan?”

“Ace, I may have barely passed my Bio Lab at Yale, but I’m pretty sure we’re good without one, at the moment.” Causing her to blush and groan, in a much less sexy way than she had only moments before, so embarrassed. (In all fairness, it said a lot about her fastidiousness and commitment to sexual health that even now, she went into protection mode.) She looked self-conscious and he didn’t want to dwell on it and ruin  the moment. He leaned in and kissed her deeply to the point that she couldn’t remember anything else and he lost his mind and just thrust himself inside her, no preamble, no warning, just needing to be buried inside her.

And of course it was even better than he remembered it ever having been- she was wet, warm and absolutely luscious. He moaned her name against her lips as he kissed her, while she thrust her hips up to meet him,- angling so he could go as deep as possible. She was clearly just as anxious to have him as he was to have her. He began to kiss his way all down her neck before moving over to her ear, nibbling her lobe in a spot that he knew she really loved. He set the pace to be as slow as he thought he could manage, but it had been so long since he experienced this sensation, since he had been inside of the love of his life and he could hardly control himself, wanting it to be good for her, but the more she moaned, the wetter she got, the closer he got to just losing all self-control and he found himself picking up the pace, thrusting in and out as deeply as possible, their bodies slamming against each other, the moans impossible to silence as they each chased their release- and Rory called out, “Oh fuck yes!” mere moments before he joined her, calling out her name before collapsing against her entirely, positive he’d never be able to move again.

He moved off, pulling her to his side, spooning her as they both tried to catch their breath, sweating but happy and sated. She looked at him, breathing heavily but smiling- she honestly couldn’t believe how much she had missed that, especially in light of her being so sick, but she had. He turned towards her, wanting to be able to see her face, tracing her face, pushing curls behind her ear, grinning from ear to ear, he really didn’t think he’d ever been so happy.

“I have to admit, I’ve really missed that. I hate that I’ve been so sick and we haven’t really had a lot of opportunity…” He cut her off with a kiss.

“I missed it too, Ace, but no feeling bad about anything else- I love you, and I really love these babies and as much as I love nothing more than ravishing you, I wouldn’t trade where we are for anything.”

He finished tracing her face and moved his hand down her body, pausing when he got to her stomach, palming it for a moment, enjoying the feel of her soft skin along the barely there bump- he knew that if it wasn’t twins she wouldn’t be showing at all, but he loved the feel of the convex shape of her- their babies were in there, it was amazing! He kissed her softly, her fingers laced through his against her belly and he pulled her close to him, there was literally no space between the two of them as he kissed the side of her neck and she nestled herself against him, enjoying the intimacy of the moment.

He was stroking his hands softly down her figure and she was almost purring in response. He leaned in and kissed her neck again, “I love you, Ace, you know that, right?” She sighed and then turned around to face him- not really wanting to move her jelly-like muscles and bones, but willing to take one for the team. And then he remembered just how much her eyes were his Kryptonite, they were just so big and beautiful and blue.

“I do know that, Logan. And I love you so much. I just…” her eyes got a little sad as she thought about the conversation they had before all of… _that_ … had happened. Not that she regretted even a tiny part of what had just happened, it had been amazing, it was seriously a Top 10 experience. “It’s just that I wish we had talked ten years ago. I get so upset when I think about the idea that we could have been together, if either of us had just said something!” And that was true- she could have fought for him during the Obama campaign, she could have tried to contact him and talk it through, he could have talked to her about the future before he proposed and it all got out of control, either of them could have talked about it in Hamburg, actually expressed that they wanted to be together and forget about the Vegas arrangement that they both knew was idiotic and not what either wanted.

He kissed her again, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, smiling only slightly, still feeling a tiny bit of a twinge as he thought about the time they had lost and just how idiotic it had been. “I can’t actually take any of that back, Rory. I can’t tell you how much I wish that you and I had that conversation before I proposed- but I was a cocky son-of-a-bitch. I was just so stupidly in love, I was so excited for our future and I got carried away, and then I was so proud and stupid and hurt that when you said no, I was lost. And I’m so sorry for what I said, what I did, how I behaved, I can’t stand how much time we lost.

“But I don’t want to do that again. So I’m going to be very clear with you. Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, I am absolutely, insanely, hopelessly in love with you and that just isn’t ever going to change. If I’m being very honest with myself, I never thought I’d get to this point, find this person- someone I actually _wanted_ to spend the rest of my life with, someone I genuinely wanted to have a family with- I want those things, _if_ I can have them with you. I am _not_ proposing. I want to, I honestly would fly to Vegas this second and get married by Elvis in a drive through wedding chapel wearing a powder blue tux with a ruffled shirt- I genuinely don’t give a shit about any of that! But, begrudgingly, I cede the point that we’re going through a lot of changes, emotions are pretty high and I’m not going to repeat any mistakes from the past.

He licked his lips, his palms were sweaty, he didn’t know how to really say what he wanted to, he took in steady, even breaths before speaking. “I can’t tell you how much I wish we had talked first, you know, last time around. Or even, no, fuck it! Even this last time around, I wish we had actually been open and honest. So I want to know, Rory: do you think this is what you want? Is there even a part of you that thinks you want me, you and our babies to be a real family? That’s what I want. You don’t have to say yes right now, you don’t have to promise me anything, but I need you to think about it and let me know how you feel, how you want this to go. Let’s be honest, I love surprising you, but I don’t love surprises so much myself, and I’d really like to understand where you’re at.”

She bit her bottom lip, looking into his eyes, obviously worried and unsure what to say.

“Logan, I love you. There is so much right now that I don’t know, things that I’m worried about, that I’m scared of… being with you is not on that list. I believe that we need to try and get a handle on being parents before we panic over whether we are meant to be. But I know that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone- I have days when I feel like you’re the only person I’ve ever loved, and when I see my future, you are in it-- you _are_ it. There is no one else I would rather go through this with you than you.” And she moved into kiss him, a lazy kiss, enjoying the moment of just being together, actually having some privacy, and being in love. He kissed her back, feeling pretty relieved about her answer and he really didn’t want the moment to end, ever.

“So… is it safe for me to assume we’re on the same page? Or, at the very least, in the same chapter or book?”

“Yeah, I think it’s safe to say that we are, at the very least, in adjacent chapters.”

“Rory, I love you so much, if you ever doubt that, let me know so I can find ways to remind you.”

“I love you too, Logan.” And they smiled at each other as they fell asleep, in each other’s arms, basking.


	17. Name Theory 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's in a name? Lorelai is going to address that one.

“What do you think about Gigi?”

“My step sister or the creepy pedophilia movie that you’re obsessed with?” Rory was genuinely confused by her mother’s query. 

“No, I mean, for me, like as in Grammy Gilmore, do you think I could go by GG for a name? Or is that super weird because of your stepsister? Because I gotta say, I don’t love Gran or Granny or Grandma or any of those- they’re too much like old person names- every single one of them sounds a little too  _ Tuna Christmas _ or Charles Dickens for me. Mee Maw or GaGa border on either confusing or just plain lazy once the kid is older. And sure, I could go classic with something like Gram or embrace super old-school and be Grandmama Lorelai... or maybe the Grammy Formerly Known as Lorelai…”

“I don’t think you actually get a name at that point, you’d just be reduced to an incoherent symbol… and I’m not saying that you  _ aren’t  _ a Squiggle, Dot, Dash, Squiggle, or that the name would be a problem for me. But, I just love you so much, and it really didn’t end so well for Prince, nor would I really know how to introduce you to a young child… I mean, what am I supposed to say?  _ Hello child of mine, I love you, and I would like to introduce you to my mother, squiggle, dot, dash, squiggle… and here is your grandfather, squiggle, squiggle, dot, dot, dash”  _ I don’t know, that seems like quite a mouthful for a small kid, and very confusing and weird, and let’s face it, you’re already going to be a lot to have to explain to my kids without going Post-Modern.”

“That must be pregnancy hormones talking, making you turn on Mommy like that.”

“Mom, I don’t actually have any stake in what they call you. I can tell you that Gigi seems to have hit the point in her adolescence that she prefers to  _ not _ be called Gigi, so you’d have to ask her, but it could be on the table for you.” What was Rory supposed to do here, was there any way she could win this? “I actually thought that Grandma would be Grammy or Grammy Emily, I don’t know, I haven’t spent much time on it. And I doubt that Mitchum or Shira are dying to be acknowledged as anything by this child, so you luck out- you get first pick.”

It was a Thursday night and Logan was supposed to meet up with Colin and Finn nearby while Rory had an evening with her mom, but it felt so empty in the tiny cottage without Logan there, Rory couldn’t believe what a difference his absence made. They had been having the most incredible few weeks together, ever since that amazing afternoon spent reading Fitzgerald and talking and hashing things out. Her HG was ebbing and flowing, some days she couldn’t get out of bed, some days she felt good enough to get out into town. 

She had been having so much fun really introducing him to Stars Hollow- cake at Weston’s (the babies seemed to love the Mocha Turtle Crunch with a peanut butter drizzle), browsing Andrew’s book store, he had even grabbed drinks at the Secret Bar with Zach one night and sat through two Town Meetings. Logan had even offered to participate in the snowman building contest,  _ and _ accompany Lorelai on her first snow walk, if Rory wasn’t up to  it-- Hell, he didn’t completely reject the idea of being a reenactor from the War during the first snow, it was unbelievable how eager he was to try and fit in!

“Ok, so let’s table what the hell Thing One and Thing Two are going to call me, but I’m liking GG as my pick. Have  _ you guys  _ talked names at all? Because I don’t know about you, but I really like names Lorelai and Charo. Thoughts?”

Rory smiled back, there really was no person alive who was like Lorelai Gilmore. 

“I think it just depends on what the combo of boys and girls we have, if it’s only one girl, I like Lorelai- if it’s two girls, it doesn’t exactly feel right to have a Lorelai and a non-Lorelai. We like Richard for a boy, although I don’t really like any of the nicknames for it. We’ve also kicked around literary names- Logan likes Zelda, Hunter and Emily.”

“Bronte? Dickinson?”

“Actually, I was thinking Gilmore.”

“Wait, so you’d name your child after my mother, but not me? What the hell, Rory?”

“Mom, I didn’t say it’s what we’re going to do- but I have to admit that it makes a lot of sense to pick a name that is significant for multiple reasons, not just one.”

“Well, sure, but you know, maybe should go with names that mean nothing, you know- so they’re not tied to any one person, forge their own path, you know? Like pick things that are really out there- like Hildegarde or Beulah or… Rosencrantz and Guildenstern!”

“So we’re at the serious point of the conversation, yes?”

“I’m just saying, Lorelai is not a sucky name.”

“I know it’s not a sucky name, I think it’s actually a beautiful name, I wouldn’t have hated going by it growing up- but if we had two girls, for example, it just seems a little too much like ‘you’re the child I like better, you get the cool name.’”

“Huh, that actually does make sense- another Lorelai would rightfully be feted, adored… worshipped even. Wow, did you  _ are _ smart, learn that at Yale did you?”

“Oh yeah, Baby Name Logistics 101- a really important course in my Ivy League English degree.”

“Obviously, why else would I have sent you there? 1) I wanted to make sure you met a handsome boy with a trust fund so my grandbabies would be super hot  _ and _ pay for themselves; and 2) that you had a firm understanding of Name Theory.”

“I think you mean Game Theory.”

“No, I’m pretty sure its Name Theory.” Rory rolled her eyes at her mom- while her Powers of the Pun were straight-up impressive today, this wasn’t really a conversation she and Logan had really had  _ together _ , and she kind of felt like maybe that was something they should do as a couple first. “Oh come on, Fruit of My Loins… my Loin Fruit- worried that you don’t have that MRS Degree yet?”

“MOM!” She picked up one of her pillows and threw it at Lorelai, mostly laughing at her,even when her mom threw one back. 

“Hey, Mom?”

“Uh-oh, I know that voice, that’s serious voice- but also doe-eyed and innocent… it’s like 70% serious, 30% Bambi.” 

“Nothing- never mind.”

“Aww, come on, Rory, what’s going on? I can hear the gears in your head spinning, but they’re way too fast for me to follow along. What’s going on?”

“Do you think I keep tanking my relationships because I’m too worried about becoming you- manwise?” Rory had a hard time meeting Lorelai’s gaze, she was even blushing just a bit- understanding that probably hurt her mom to hear, but it had been nagging her lately. 

“Oh, Rory…”

“No, I know it’s horrible of me to say it, but if you look at the evidence- Dad, Mr. Medina, Dad, the guy who took you fishing- you know, the coffee guy who kind of looked like the Dad in Twilight?”

“Alex.”

“Right, Alex. Then Jason, then Luke, then Dad again… and then Luke. Let’s face it, is my history that much better? I’ve got Dean, who bailed every time; Jess who was very real, but bailed whenever it got tough; then Married Dean, then Casual Logan;”

“Aww, honey, I always thought formal Logan was the best look- the boy can wear a tux.”

“Mom, so not helping! So I’ve got Logan, he wants commitment and I was crazy about him- I actually wish  _ all the time _ that I hadn’t turned him down when he proposed. I mean, sure, the ultimatum was awful, I still get angry about it, but there also was no reason why I couldn’t say yes and just ask for a long engagement- he wanted me to move to Palo Alto with him, not to give up my career and be a carbon copy of Shira!

“And since then? Wow, it’s been quite the parade of men- there was my rebound with Jess right after the campaign, obviously genius of me; then that Deputy Press Secretary at the State Department that spent 3 weeks every month traveling; Aaron who is, to this day, the least interesting guy I’ve ever met- and we lasted 6 months! Six months of the Investment Banker I only met because GRANDMA set us up! Really? Cause we all know what an accurate curator of my tastes she can be. And then Paul, who I’m pretty sure I only “dated” because he was so nice and uncomplicated and didn’t make me feel guilty about Logan. Oh, and then the wookie! Why am I such a sucky person?”

Lorelai looked at her daughter- this woman who was so beautiful and brilliant and seemed so lost. 

“Rory, my amazing daughter-  _ you _ are like getting four prizes in the box of Cracker Jacks- you are  _ amazing!”  _ They settled down, Rory looking through a pregnancy book and Lorelai absently thumbing through a name book.

“Hey, Ror, can I ask you a question?” Rory was leaning into Lorelai’s shoulder at this point, holding her close to her body, just like she had since Rory was 3. 

“Of course, Mom- shoot.”

“Look, I don’t want to imply that I’m a raging narcissist who is literally incapable of thinking about anyone but herself, because I think it’s well established that I think you’re pretty ok and Betty White is a National Treasure who can never die because it could literally breaky my freakin’ heart…”

“Mom, you realize she’s in her 90’s, right?”

“Shush, you. I’m in denial.”

“Good enough, carry on.”

“But Rory, seriously. Did I rob you of what you could have had with Logan?”

“What? Mom, no! What are you talking about?”

“Farbeit for me to read too much into it- but I’ve been thinking about everything that happened in the weeks leading up to your graduation… you two were so in love- I remember it. I remember him being there for you, for all of us, when Dad was in the hospital he was Mr. Nowhere-Else-I’d-Rather-Be. Then, oh God, Rory, I wanted to hate him- I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s one of my finer points as a mom, I have no pride in it, but he just seemed too much like Christopher and I freaked out. But then, he came to the Spring Fling and just the way that you both were... “ She was tearing up as she thought about it, remembering that weekend, the weekend she really thought Logan would become her Son-in-Law and, was actually excited about it- what mother didn’t want her daughter to be that well-loved?

“I remember how jealous I was. I mean, I had real concerns with him, I’m not insane, I’m a mom- any guy you commit Grand Theft Boating with is going to raise some red flags- I mean, come on- Dean, Jess, Naked Guy- although, if I’m being completely honest here- I’m still not sure what happened there- did you guys actually ever date? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. But Logan was the first guy-- actually, the only guy, that actually made me compete for your love and attention and it turns out I did not like feeling like Michelle Kwan. Then, to top it off, in my head, he was Chris- so, you being my daughter and all, I began to freak out that you were about to repeat all of my mistakes. 

“And now I realize that maybe I was the last person who should be giving you relationship advice, I mean, I’ve lucked out a few times, but on the whole I’m a disaster. Like  _ Relationships for Dummies  _ is two levels above me.”

Mom- you and Luke!”

“Oh, come on Rory, I don’t think either of us want you to be almost 50 by the time you figure out love and commitment. In a lot of ways I’m more of a “what not to do” manual than anything else.”

“Really? And here I thought you were walking testaments to the power of a backwards baseball cap!”

“Well, as your mother, I don’t feel right telling you just what that baseball cap does to me… you know, in my loins.” And with that she wiggled her brows “suggestively”, and was subsequently rewarded with waggly eyebrows. 

“Mom, if you don’t stop that I’m going to get very graphic about the night these two were conceived.”

“Eww, fair enough, I’ll stop. But seriously, Kid- why did you say no to Logan? Was it me?”

Rory just sighed, she had thought about this so much.

“Not overtly, I don’t think. I mean, I was young and I didn’t know what was next in life and I just wanted the chance to figure that out without having to discuss china patterns and table linens with Emily and Shira. But, if I’m being  _ really _ honest with myself, there was a not so quiet voice in the back of my head saying that you’d be upset, you’d hate me for it, or worse, you’d mock my decision. 

“But I really think that at the end of the day, I really thought he’d cool off after the ultimatum and call me up and agree with me and go back to the way things were. I don’t know, I probably would have tried a lot harder if I really did think that would be the last I would see him for 7 years. I might have even said yes, because I was really nervous about saying yes, and I probably let you influence me a bit… But come on, Mom- that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“It wasn’t part of the plan? What does that mean?”

“You know, the plan- Chilton, Harvard, journalism, foreign correspondent. Once I won my first Peabody or Pulitzer,  _ then _ marriage.”

“Wait, who said that was the plan?”

“Umm, well, I guess neither of us ever said it that explicitly, but come on- it was the plan since I was like 4- at least that’s really as early as I remember it going back. But yeah, it was always about making sure I depended on no one but myself.”

“Well sure, but you could have been in a relationship, married even, without losing your independence.”

“Mom, what is the point of hashing all this out now? Why dredge it all up almost a decade later?”

“I’m having mom guilt, I feel like I fucked up, made you think that if you married him earlier, I’d have been disappointed in you. Is that true?”

“Honestly? I don’t know, Mom. You definitely taught me to put guys after my studies and my career- but I don’t think you fucked up. I get sad sometimes that it happened that way, but I still made my own choices- when you and I really disagreed, I didn’t let you force me… I don’t know, call me crazy, but I think for someone who had me at 16, you did an awfully good job. I’m just crossing my fingers that I  _ only _ screw up my kids as much as you did me.” 

“Awww, hon… don’t worry, you’re going to mess up a lot, like a lot a lot… And of course I’m going to be right there to document it for history purposes- on camera, signed affidavits, the whole nine.”

“Wow, thanks mom, I knew I could count on you.”

“Anytime hon.”


	18. Drunken Playboy Lothario Bastards Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we are reunited with the Unholy Trio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, guys- two questions I'm taking feedback on:
> 
> 1) Two girls, Two boys or Boy and Girl? I have an idea, but we'll see.  
> 2) How do we feel about them getting married? Should they? If they do, should it be before or after the babies? Big wedding, secret elopement? Give me some thoughts!

“Colin- doth mine eyes deceive me, or is there a recently freed man walking towards us?”

“Thou art most assuredly correct, Finn, I believe that we are looking at a man whose life sentence was only recently commuted.”

“Come good fellow, let us buy you a pint of hearty ale as we carouse and revel in celebration of your new found freedom!” Colin handed Logan a pint of beer and lifted his own glass for a toast, Finn joining in.

“But first, we bid adieu to the lovely Warden, Odette- a beauty and a delight- but may we never think of her again after tonight!” They toasted to that and drank their beers while Logan stood there, smiling, enjoying being around these two idiots who were the closer to him than any brothers he could ever want or need.

“So tell me Logan, how did Mitchum take the news?” Colin asked, but then Finn cut him off.

“Forget about Mitchum, I want to know how your darling mum took it?” Logan just grimaced at that one.

“You can imagine Mom took it pretty much as expected, I’m not totally sure- I haven’t spoken to her since, but Honor has had to take the brunt of the blowback- remind me that she’s getting Tiffany’s for Christmas… or maybe a yacht. But Mitchum… well… at first he was pretty upset- we fought, I threatened to quit.”

“Standard Huntzberger conversation tactics.” Colin interjected wryly.

“But I actually just saw him a few days ago and he’s… well, he’s actually been kind of great. I’m coming back to the States, full-time, going to be in New York I think, but Boston and Hartford are still on the table.” They both stared at him, jaws on the floor- stunned enough Finn didn’t even notice the redhead who walked by at that exact moment.

“Let me get this straight, your father, the Dark Lord himself, found out you were calling off your wedding and wanted to come back to the States and not only was he ok with it, but he’s helping? My God, are you dying? Is he dying? Am I dying?”

“No, no, and yes, Finn, based on how you live your life, you probably are.”

“And can I guess that maybe the reason Hartford or New York appeal to you is that you hope to one day win back the heart of a certain Reporter Girl we all know and love?” Colin had one eyebrow raised in question. Logan just smirked and drank his beer, he wanted to enjoy toying with them just a bit longer.

“Does this mean she is back in our lives, Logan? Because I have always thought that if her goddess of a mother and I ever had the chance, we could make a real go of it. But you know I'd be a wonderful father-in-law, tough but fair, so long as you treat our baby right. Oh, but don’t worry, we would let you have your wedding first, we wouldn’t want to steal your thunder, and our love is a bit unconventional, it will take everyone time to get used to it.”

“Yeah, especially because she hates you.”

“All part of our pas de deux, Colin- our dance of love.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, Finn, but her mother got married just a few weeks ago, she’s pretty permanently off the market.” Finn looked wounded, shocked, horrified.

“But alas, Logan, she was my one true love, my sun and my moon and my stars- the only woman worthy of the name Mrs. Finn Morgan… That is, unless you think the lovely Rory will finally realize what a twat you are and agree to marry me- for I shall have a Gilmore girl or I will have no one.”

“Sorry, Finn, I think she’s pretty well and stuck with me at this point.”

“Alas, at least I have lost her to a worthy opponent- treat her well, my friend. And when she calls out my name in the middle of the night, know that she still has a small spot in her tender heart for you.” Finn smiled and then called to the barkeeper-

“Good man, we are celebrating, I would like a bottle of your finest scotch and put it on this lucky son-of-a-bitch’s tab, please!” The barkeeper looked at him and Logan nodded, smiling, because he knew how much celebrating they were about to do.

“So tell us, how did it go with Odette- you said it was amicable, what happened? Did she finally confess her feelings for me?” Colin asked.

“No, actually it was kind of weird. Apparently when she was home visiting family last she had a bit of a pregnancy scare and while she is, VERY thankfully not pregnant, the idea of us having a child together basically horrified both of us- we took it as a sign, she moved out and is going to be in Italy for the next few years and I got on the first plane I could to Connecticut to see Rory.”

“Holy shit- can you imagine any of us as parents? There should probably be a law banning any of us from procreating.”

“I don’t know, I think in 20 years or so I just might be ready to settle down with some beautiful woman and have a few children- just think, a couple of tiny little Finn Morgans roaming the world- what a gift that would be to Mother Earth.”

“Logan, we really should look into getting him fixed, you know that right? It’s the ethical and responsible thing to do.”

“Agreed, now can we please stop talking about Finn reproducing? It’s going to give me nightmares.”

“How about you tell us about your reunion with the lovely Rory- are there wedding bells in the future- a large party with open bar?”

“More importantly, is there a bachelor party to be planned?” Finn had to ask.

“We are not engaged. We are together, we are happy, but she’s going through something right now and I think we should just wait to figure that out after she has the babies.” He said it so casually, while taking a sip- he couldn’t resist the urge to sneak a peek at them- they were completely frozen from the surprise- eyes bugging out, mouths open- Finn’s scotch glass was almost to his lips, just hanging there. Colin was the first to recover, even if only slightly.

“She’s pregnant?”

“That would explain the morning sickness and the expanding belly.”

“And we are talking about a tiny little Huntzberger?”

“Well, we haven’t really talked about last names or anything yet, but yes- they’re mine.” That was when Finn’s brain finally caught up with the conversation.

“Wait, you said babies. And they’re. Like, as in, more than one baby?” Logan had to laugh at that point- the looks on their faces were so ridiculous, he desperately wished Ace was there to see their reactions, it would have her laughing for days.

“We are having twins, they are due in July.”

“But… when? How?”

“Finn, I’ve walked in on you enough times to know that you have at least a basic understanding of the how. As for when, it’s possible that things may have gotten a bit… heated at a certain inn in New Hampshire.” He let it all sink in for a second, this was big news, he knew they’d catch up in a minute. While he waited, he finished his scotch and poured another round for each of them, checking out the label- it was a 21 year Balvenie, he’d never had it before, it might be better than Macallan, he’d have to remember that. He almost dropped his glass though when all of a sudden Colin let out a yell and Finn picked him up, hugging him and spinning him.

“Logan, you’re going to be a dad! The world will finally have the genetic perfection of Gilmore and Huntzberger- tiny, beautiful geniuses- they will take over the world!”

“Oh my God, Finn- we’re going to be uncles- not like with my step-brothers kids, these are going to be kids I actually want to see!”

“Speak for yourself, Mate, if one of them turns out to be a girl, 21 years is just about the time I intend to settle down- if she looks anything like her mother, _she_ could be the woman worthy enough to be my wife.” Noticing the way that Logan’s eyes just got huge and his face went pale, Finn thought maybe he had gone too far and needed to backtrack. “Logan, relax, it was a joke, of course I’m going to be Uncle Finney…”

“I could have a daughter. I could have _two_ daughters.” They both stared at him, blankly.

“I don’t understand how that’s news at this point, Man.”

“Colin- I could have girls, girls that are obviously going to grow up to beautiful and smart, at least if they take after their mother, and that means there are going to be guys- guys like _us_ around them.” They all sat there, instantly sobered by the thought. It wasn’t hard to imagine the guys who would flock to those girls, guys like them, who didn’t care about anything but sex and avoiding commitment…

“Colin, you’re the lawyer in the group- what are the laws in the US about locking children up in towers surrounded by moats and dragons and alligators and everything?”

“I’ll look into it, Finn.” Logan was pale, just trying to absorb this recent realization.

“Look, Mate, you don’t know, you could have boys.”

“Great, boys that are going to turn out to be drunken playboy Lothario bastards like me.”

“You left off handsome and charming.” He just glared back at Finn, somehow his clarification didn’t really help.

“I’m sorry guys, I guess that I’ve been so busy with Rory and the hospital and figuring out the new deal with Mitchum that I don’t think I’ve really had the chance to sit and think about the fact that I’m about to have two kids. Kids that are going to have to be raised, I have to teach them things- like, how to ride a bike and throw a baseball- and guys, I’m not very good at sports, what if I get it wrong? Oh my God, what if we _do_ have two girls? I don’t know how to braid hair or when they get to pierce their ears- when do girls get their ears pierced?” He was in the early stages of a significant freakout. They poured him more scotch, because in Finn's world, scotch was the answer to every problem.

Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be working at the moment, Finn and Colin looked at each other, completely out of their depth.

“Hold on a second, can we go back to the Rory in the hospital thing?” Colin had a genuinely concerned look on his face right now, it actually made Logan smile just a bit- these guys were such softies for his Ace. He sighed and told them the whole story about showing up in Stars Hollow, getting the email, the ride to the hospital, the days in the hospital, all of it.

“Guys, what the hell am I doing? I was raised by Mitchum and Shira Huntzberger, I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you have Rory then, huh?”

“Not to mention, they’re favorite Uncle Finney- he’ll be there every step of the way.”

“Finn, you’re supposed to say comforting things, not things that are going to make him jump off a ledge. Look, Logan, if we’re being honest, you’ve spent the last 25 years of our lives keeping us alive and marginally healthy- and that’s despite the ways our parents completely screwed us up- so between you and Rory, I have a feeling you might be just fine. Your kids can’t really turn out any worse than us.” Logan looked around him- sure, it was a Tuesday night and they were making a pretty good dent on the bottle of scotch, and maybe they each had questionable histories- professionally, personally, romantically… But they were good guys. He nodded his head, smiling, maybe Colin was right- if this was worst case scenario, then his kids just might be ok.


	19. What To Expect When You're Expecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rory and Logan come to terms with exactly what they should expect in terms of Labor and Delivery.

It was late, probably around midnight when Logan got back to their bungalow at the Inn- he had really enjoyed his night out with Colin and Finn- telling them about the twins had been a load off his mind, they had been so excited for him, so happy to be Uncles that he had stayed out later than he planned. And it had been good for him to get out of Stars Hollow, he liked it there, he could understand why Rory loved it so much, but it was nice to get out.

He put his keys and his wallet on the coffee table while noticing the Rory was reading on the loveseat by the window- she had a cup of cocoa next to her, which was a good sign- it was cocoa when she was having a good day, ginger tea or ginger ale when she felt iffy and gatorade when she’d been sick.

“Hey, Ace, wait up for me?” She didn’t move, he smiled, it was so cute how absorbed she could get in reading, her ability to tune out the world around her had always made him laugh- he’d seen her in a crowded train station in Amsterdam, pouring over Erik Larson’s latest book about _The_ _Lusitania-_ she didn’t even look up when someone came by trying to sell roses and tulips to her.

He toed off his shoes, took off his coat and moved over to her to kiss her on the head- was it just him, or did she seem pale? Her eyes were wide and she looked like she had been crying. “Hey, you ok? You feeling sick?” He leaned down and kissed her on the top of her head, totally startling her, jumping just a bit in her chair.

“Logan, when did you get home?” She was trying to catch her breath, closing the book while keeping her finger in it to mark her place.

He smiled a little but then was trying to take her in. She really did pale- her face was completely drained and her eyes were huge and black.

“Everything ok there, Ace?” Was she trembling just a little.

“I can’t do it, Logan. I can’t do it! Do you know what is going to happen in 7 months?”

“Umm, we’re going to have our babies?”

“Nope.”

“No, we’re not having our babies in 7 months?”

“Nope, we’re not having them, ever. They are not coming out. Nope, no way, I’m going to just cross my legs and keep them that way and the babies are going to have to find another way out.” Now he was really confused. He sat down next to her and grabbed her book, _What To Expect When You’re Expecting_ , opening to where she saved her place. Oh, she had been reading about Labor- he tried to think about what he had read about it. Sure, it had seemed painful and even a little bit gross, but nothing to make her look like she was about to pass out- she was legitimately trembling.

“Hey, Ace, it’s going to be fine- you’re going to be amazing, and then we’re going to have our two beautiful babies and take them home with us.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I said no. It’s not happening. No way.”

“I’m not sure it really works that way, hon. I think at this point we’re pretty much stuck with going through with it all.”

“No, we’re going to have to come up with some kind of alternative, because _that,_ ” she was pointing at the book, “is just  _not_ going to happen- absolutely none of it is happening. It’s not my fault that they don’t make us read that horrible, horrible book in high school Health class, because let me tell you what, if it was spelled out like that, I’m pretty sure I would have never had sex- nope, no way. _That_ was what my mom should have done all those years, none of this bullshit about telling me at 4:00 in the morning on my birthday that it was like doing the splits over a crate of dynamite- I mean, that’s the problem with the narrative voice- she should have been more real, more journalistic, raw and serious- no embellishing, no metaphors, you know? I blame her entirely!”

“Rory, come on, if millions of women every year do this, and have been doing it since the beginning of time…”

“No, I do not want to hear that argument.” She stood up and moved to rinse her cocoa cup in the sink. “That sounds like the kind of propaganda that is being maliciously and deviously disseminated by a patriarchal regime intent on propagating the species with no regard for women and what they will experience in the process. Not only do women make 22 cents on the dollar less than men, partially due to them taking time away from their jobs in order to birth the next generation of humanity, but we are further penalized by having to go through this total freak show known as the _Miracle of Childbirth!_ ”

“Wow, ok then, I’m going to say that even by your standards, that was an impressive diatribe.”

“This is not funny, Logan, this is not even remotely funny. _You_ get to simply standby and watch while I go through everything. Oh, except, no, _you_ don’t.”

“No, I don’t get to…?”

“Watch. If I’m going experience even ⅓ of what this book has outlined, you will be nowhere _near_ me, you won't be in the room with me. Absolutely not, you can be like Ricky Ricardo, pacing outside of the delivery room. God, Sookie and Jackson really had it right- I don't like you seeing my shave my legs, either, _why_ would I ever let you near me in the process of any of that?” She gestured towards the book as though it all made perfect sense, but Logan was genuinely distressed by this mandate.

“What? Don’t be insane, Ace, of course I’m going to be right there next to you, holding your hand, helping you.”

“Helping with what exactly? Are you going to be pushing out my mucus plug? Or monitoring my amniotic fluids when my water breaks to make sure there is no discoloration which could be signs of fetal distress? Or I don’t know, determining if I’m going to need an episiotomy? Logan, do you _know_ what an episiotomy is? Do you?”

“I can’t say I do, it hasn’t been covered in any of my books.”

“Of course not, _your_ books are written by and for the standard bearers of misogyny, intended to circulate and reinforce their patriarchal pro-birth agenda with adorable little cartoon sperm making jokes about how it's great your boys can swim. Because it's oh so impressive a reflection on you that your ejaculate can do what it's biologically and evolutionarily programmed to do for millions of year.”

“Well, ok, why don’t you give me a chance to catch up then, Ace? If I’m going to be held accountable for Big Patriarchy and our misogynistic agenda, can I be allowed to know what my gender and I have done wrong?”

She glared at him a bit more pointedly than he was used to seeing from her, it actually made him squirm- it gave him vague flashbacks to being called a butt-faced miscreant. She motioned for him to pick the book up and read through it while she moved to toss the pillows off the bed and turn back the quilt, beginning her bedtime routine as he read. Every minute or so she would look up to see his reaction- smirking as he got through the chapter on Labor and Birth and his face so quickly drained of  blood and his eyes got bigger- she’d be lying if she denied that it was awfully satisfying.

By the time she had brushed her teeth and washed her face, he seemed done with the chapter and looked up at him. He was still, _disturbingly_ still- like blinked-at-an-angel-statue-in- _Dr. Who-_ still, and nearly as pale gray. She pulled back the quilt further and got into bed, sitting up, legs crossed. After what felt like an hour he looked up at her.

“Wow.”

“Right?”

“I mean, I heard it was painful and kind of disgusting and there was blood and stuff… but I had no idea.”

“This is what I am saying! You and I are both graduates from one of the most prestigious universities in the entire world- we are very well-read and well-educated, how is it that we knew nothing about any of this? I mean, one of my best friends is an OBGYN and loves to tell me scary stories, sparing no details, and she never told me about this stuff, not really. ”

“Neither Honor nor Josh ever said anything like this- they said it was scary but the most beautiful experience of their lives!”

“This is what I’m saying, this is clearly a deeply entrenched, Illuminati-esque conspiracy that goes wide and deep.”

“I’m just now understanding why my mother hates me so much- apparently my labor took over 30 hours.”

“30 hours? _Thirty hours of that?_ That isn’t one of those things that’s genetic is it? Like because it took 30 hours for you, it’s more likely to take 30 hours for our babies?”

“I don’t know, the book doesn’t say!”

“Well, we need another book then, or Google- we could Google it- I’m sure someone online has written a paper or a blog or something, we can look it up and see what the correlation is between birth times of a parent and their child’s birth time. We can call a doctor, I’m sure they could tell us- oh, Paris, Paris would answer if I called her, it’s only 12:30, she probably isn’t asleep yet- I can call Paris and I can ask her-”

“Wait, Rory, hold on. We can’t do this.”

“No, I know I _can’t_ do this, that’s why I have to call Paris and ask her what my options are at this point.” Logan was up and moving towards her on the bed, taking the cellphone out of her hand as he sat next to her and cupped her face in his hands, needing her full attention.

“Ace, we need to calm down about this. Ok, yes, I learned a bit tonight that I did not know. And yes, I’m officially 100% more scared and nervous than I was before- I can’t lie, it is genuinely scary. But we can’t focus on that.” She harrumphed at that one, easy enough for him to say, he got to be a spectator for the whole damn circus while she gave birth to a parade of elephants. “We need to focus on what is going to happen after- look, there has to be a reason that people say things about how amazing and beautiful it all is.”

“Yes, I believe the term we're going with is Illuminati-esque conspiracy.” He pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, kissing her on the forehead, smiling at her- God, he loved this woman.

“Or, because when it’s all over and done with, we are going to end up with two, beautiful little babies who are just a mash-up of you and of me- if there is a God a lot more of you than me. And we’re going to love them, it’s going to be amazing and _we_ are going to be a family. And apparently it’s going to take a lot between now and then to get us to that point, and yeah, unfortunately a lot of the truly unpleasant stuff is really going to be on you- which sucks, and I swear, if I could change that, take some of it off you, I absolutely would. But so long as DeVito and Schwarzenegger’s tour de force performance in _Junior_ was actually a documentary, I really don’t think that’s a possibility.

“And I am going to be there every second of the way, holding your hand and telling you I love you and not taking it personally when you scream obscenities and throw things at me. I promise that I won’t complain when you break my hand squeezing it tight during delivery and you have the rest of our lives to hold it against me. And I think you’re underestimating how difficult it is for me to see you in pain- it’s not exactly painless for me either.” She just raised her eyebrows at him with a look that said _oh, poor little you._ He just leaned in and kissed her.

“And for the record, if it really would have kept you from every having sex with me- knowing all of this, well then, in the spirit of full disclosure, I probably would have done what I could to keep it away from you. What can I say? You are not only the sexiest woman I’ve ever met, but that noise you make, when I nibble on your ear like this…” he leaned in and gently took her right earlobe between his teeth, playfully teasing before he sucked it between his lips, running his tongue against it, causing her to moan deeply. “That noise is my favorite sound in the entire world. Well, maybe second favorite- right after hearing you say you love me.” He smiled, leaned in and kissed her, deeply- throwing that horrible book into the corner of the room and pulling her as close as he could, wondering if he could possibly distract her from all that.


	20. What's In A Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rory and Logan's future is discussed briefly, and names are discussed at some length.

Having intended to just spend Thanksgiving with Lorelai and Luke at home, Rory was shocked to find herself being escorted into the library of the Dragonfly that Thursday to be surprised by everyone- her mom and Luke, Grandma, Christopher, Gigi, April, Lane and Zack, Paris and Doyle (it seemed they were making progress towards getting back together), Honor and Josh- even Colin and Finn were there (the Aussie wearing a Pilgrim hat and giant belt buckle, asking Lorelai what she was most grateful for, did she in fact make a deal with the Devil to keep her incredible looks and her opinions on loincloths- should he choose to dress as Squanto next year). They spent the day eating Sookie’s incredible food, drinking wine and eggnog (who let Finn be in charge of spiking the eggnog? From the smell of it Rory had instant flashbacks to Miss Patty’s Founder’s Day Punch) and visiting.

“I swear, Logan, that’s the absolute best Thanksgiving I ever had and my father once paid to have Wolfgang Puck cater.” Oh Colin, he did love to throw around names. Sookie had heard the comment and blushed, giggling a little- she had met the man once, he complimented her omelette as “delightful, elegant and comforting all at the same time.”

“Well, my parents were usually too busy living in Australia to care much about such quaint American holidays, but I have to admit that bird was damn delicious and I’ve never been so happy with a pie in my life- I would truly consider a life of celibacy for that pie- every day of my life, just me and some strawberry rhubarb. The rest of the evening was lovely too, don’t get me wrong, although somewhat lacking in women who are of age and single. But I do miss being at the beach this time of year, wearing shorts, surfing…”

“Finn, we get it, if you were home, you’d be in a speedo and hitting on women in string bikinis- our apologies for the snowy weather and bulky sweaters, you’ve been in America for a decade, it’s time to finally adapt and become one of us.”

“Speaking of traditions, Logan, when can we expect for you to make an honest woman of that lovely creature over there, the woman who is simply glowing as she carries your offspring?” As Finn spoke, Colin slung his arm around the Aussie's shoulder, both of them wanting to rile up their mutual friend.

“My money is definitely on Christmas Eve- what do you think Finn, $1000 on it?”

“I may as well just give you a $1000- no way he makes it past then.”

“I don’t know, there is something romantic about a New Year’s Eve proposal- champagne, midnight, fireworks.”

“You two think you are just hilarious, don’t you?” Logan was rolling his eyes- knowing they were just ribbing him, but it wasn’t a topic he particularly liked to dwell on. Yeah, he was dying to propose and give her a ring- he’d almost been caught multiple times looking on Tiffany’s site, but she had asked him for time and he was going to be patient- he really didn’t think he could survive another negative answer to his proposal. It just- he wasn’t with Odette anymore and it was his Ace and it was a decade in the making- them ending up together, moving past everything.

“Oh come on, Mate, tell me you have a plan and a ring in the works- this is getting ridiculous, you guys should have been married almost a decade ago, what the hell is standing in your way now?” Why did Finn look genuinely angry at him?

“Look, we’ve talked about this, she thinks that right now we have other priorities, other things to worry about- she’s emotional and sick and working on her book, while looking for a job- I’m still trying to figure things out with Mitchum. Then there’s the fact that we haven’t lived on the same continent in at least six years, we haven’t lived in the same house in 10… we have a lot to think about and process, we need to figure out where we’re living that isn’t the cottage here… it’s just too much all at once. We talked about it, both of us, and we both agreed.” Please let that be the last person to bring this up, he was basically on the verge of losing his mind over this exact topic. Why couldn’t Rory just see that no matter what, they were in love, they wanted to be together and they were inextricably linked through their children- it was about damn time they made it official so he could finally breathe!

****************************************************

“So, Rory, have you decided whether you’re going to find out the sexes of the babies?” Lane was picking at the pie on her plate, enjoying the fact that her mother had been horrified by the very idea that the boys would be subjected to a room full of people eating meat and drinking alcohol (she wasn’t sure which was more upsetting to Mrs. Kim, to be totally honest). Rory looked up at her childhood best friend, picking at her pie- she hadn’t eaten much today- assuming none of Sookie's turkey and side would taste nearly as good coming back up. She smiled to herself as she thought how this was definitely nothing like the year they did four Thanksgiving dinners in one day. But she dug into the pie in front of her, not even pregnant Rory with HG could totally avoid Sookie’s salted-caramel bourbon apple pie.

“Yes, we are definitely going to find out- I feel like just the existence of these two was a surprise enough for me, I’d like to be able to plan some of the other things involved with them- you know, a nursery, names… I wouldn’t mind knowing a few things going forward. I’m done with surprises- I never liked them, it's why I was never big into the mystery genre, it just isn't really my thing- not knowing what's next.” The women around her started laughing like that was the funniest thing they ever heard.

“Oh, kiddo, don’t even worry about it- believe me, you’ll never know anything but surprise and mystery ever again- that is the ultimate beauty that is being a mother. Don’t get me wrong, I’m dying to know what it is that you’re growing in there- animal, vegetable or mineral… but if you think it’s going to give you an actual sense of control over your life, well, my darling daughter, I think we are all entitled to a good laugh now.” Lorelai enjoyed being able to take a drink of her eggnog (Good God, who spiked this?) and winked, clumsily, at her daughter, stuck with ginger ale.

“So what do you think, am I looking at nieces, nephews, a combo?” That was Honor piping in, so excited to finally be an aunt- especially given the fact that it wasn’t Odette’s children. Odette hadn’t been horrible, Honor could have dealt with the requisite holidays and family celebrations and all of that, but would never have been particularly happy with the fact that her brother really didn’t seem to smile or laugh around her- he was barely different from Corporate Automaton Logan or Fake Society Logan- neither of those being the Logan she considered to be her brother and one of her best friends. But with Rory? Laughing, smiling... it was all back and even brighter than before and she was so fucking happy about it!

“Well, Mama Kim says that given the way you’re carrying them- and don't think she doesn't track it daily, you are definitely having two boys; but, this is the woman who thought I would have one boy and one girl, so I’m not sure how reliable my mom really is on these things- although she is praying for you and your wanton ways.” Lane was eying Rory’s belly, trying to figure out how high or low she was carrying the twins- whatever the hell that meant, her mom had insisted it mattered.

“I don’t know, I think it would prove Karma exists if Logan had two girls- I mean, can you imagine? The Playboy of the Eastern Seaboard? He’d literally build a moat and try to genetically engineer dragons to keep boys away from his daughters- he’s bad enough about his nieces! I swear, Annie was only three and Mom made a comment about her new boyfriend at daycare and Logan completely freaked out- he started talking about sending her to a cloistered convent for elementary school and made her promise she wouldn’t date until she was 30!”

“Well, either way, do we have any names for the mini Huntzbergers?” Lane was curious- she had a few great rock and roll appropriate monikers in the back of her head and was kind of hoping for a fun 70’s rock or maybe something more 80’s punk theme for her pseudo-nieces or nephews.

“Whoa whoa, who said anything about them being Huntzbergers?” Clearly Lorelai was suddenly less concerned about first names than last- making Rory very uncomfortable as she hadn’t known how to broach this conversation with her mom.

“Well, Mom, I’m not sure; I mean- Gilmore-Huntzberger could happen, or I suppose maybe even just Gilmore, but that's less likely. I don’t know, we have other things to figure out before all of that is decided and we haven’t really talked about it much, but it sort of seems like Huntzberger should be worked in somehow. I mean, they’re just as much his kids as mine. But like I said, we have so much to talk about before we get there, to figure out and so much else to focus on… I mean, I’m just juggling a lot of balls right now.”

“Dirty!”

“Mom!” Rory rolled her eyes, now was not the time for her mother to act like herself.

“I’m just saying!”

“Well ok then, Gilmore, when are we finally getting you down the aisle?” Wow, Paris, always one to just cut to the chase. “I mean, I assume that’s what you mean about other things to work through? Granted, I hardly think _just_ having kids together is much of a basis for a marriage, but then you two have always been complete idiots for each other since you started dating Sophomore year, so maybe it’s just time for all this to happen. I mean, come on, you guys have been doing this creepy mating dance for a goddamned decade, it’s about time you just get it over with and let us all move on with our lives. I do have one request though, don’t wear white. Oh, not because I give a shit about the archaic, patriarchal symbolism of the color and the importance of a woman's status as a virgin upon her marriage- cause obviously that's what the men are clamoring for these days, or the fact that in a few months, were you to marry before these babies see the first light of day that your giant Buddha belly would basically announce that the jig is up... I just think you look awful in the color. Maybe a blush or a bisque, I've even seen some blue ones lately- any of those would be much better.”

“Gee Paris, always supportive, I appreciate it. But don’t worry, no need to start picking out color palettes or china patterns; I mean, we are _so_ not worrying about that right now.  Come on, there is just so much happening at the moment, between having twins, my being so sick, I’m looking for a job, Logan just broke off an engagement and is moving back from London to God knows where because we're crashing at my mom's inn- not to mention, we haven’t even really lived together in over a decade or been in the same country in at least five! We have so much else that we need to focus on, to figure out before we even talk about getting married!” All the women surrounding her eyed her, and it was obvious that none of them really believed her; but none of them really wanted to pick a fight with her in this crowd either. Lorelai, being such a great mom, decided to break the tension and revisit an earlier topic.

“Well, I just want to say that boy or girl, it’s hard to go wrong with the name of Lorelai- it just works, you know?”

“Mom, I’m not naming my son Lorelai!”

“Ok, fine, so you’ll name your daughter Lorelai. That works too.”

“Yeah, and what about if it is two boys? Or, two girls? Clearly, I’m going to need more than one name.”

“You could always go classic Rock- Janis and Dylan maybe? Or Eddie and Fiona; Layla, Alice, Cooper… oh, and let us not forget Meg- the Goddess of Drums from the White Stripes- a true role model and inspiration to all.”

“Huh, you know what, Lane? I actually like Alice and Cooper… and Fiona is really cute!” Honor looked like she kind of wished she had thought of some of those for her own kids. Oh well, there was the possibility of one more.

“I don't know, it’s Rory and Logan, maybe they should go literary? Like Emma and Holden, or what about Atticus? Oooh- Portia and Oliver, those are sweet, aren’t they? I do like Darcy and Edith, what do you think?” Asked Paris.

“I think those are a lot of names for two babies.” Logan had come over to join the conversation, seeing Rory’s “Help, I’m trapped and overwhelmed and people are talking about these babies like I have to make a decision right this second and I’m about to freak the fuck out!" look. That's when Honor decided to prod.

“Well come on, Logan, surely you’ve thought about it- don’t you have any you like?” He leaned down to kiss Rory on the top of the head, his arm around her, pulling her to his side.

“Isn’t it a tradition to keep the names quiet until the babies are born?” She looked up at him gratefully, smiling at his rescue.

“Whoa whoa whoa, I thought this was decided, Mate- Colleen and Finn, Jr… or Finn the Younger- it has a certain epic quality that I can appreciate.”

“What? Why is the girl named after me, Finn? Why not Colin Jr. and Finneola or Fiona or Finnea?”

At this point the bickering over names got louder and eventually devolved into total chaos, saving Rory from anymore conversations about getting married- but not even that special kind of chaos kept Lorelai from keeping an eye on her daughter- realizing that there was more going on between her and Logan and this whole marriage thing than she was admitting to.


	21. First, Do No Harm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rory and Logan have an appointment with Paris

“Ace, hey, it’s going to be fine, there is no reason to panic.” Logan was holding her hand in the Paris’ office waiting room, fidgeting as they waited to be called back for her appointment. It was 15 weeks so they were waiting on results of some of the genetic tests and screenings they had done, as well as find out the sex of the babies.

“You don’t know that Logan, do you know what we could be talking about? Down Syndrome, Cystic Fibrosis, Fragile X, Tay-Sachs, Sickle Cell, Muscular Dystrophy…” She was clearly spinning out and the tears were starting as she thought about everything that could possibly be wrong with her babies.

“Rory, don’t. Don’t go there.” He was holding her face in his hands, making her look at him. “First of all, since we’re neither of us of African or Eastern European descent, I'm feeling relatively confident that we can rule out quite a few of those conditions. But, look at me and answer me this- if our baby _did_ have one of those conditions- had Muscular Dystrophy or Cystic Fibrosis- would we, for even a second _not_ want them?” She looked up at him, tearing up, thinking for just a moment before she shook her head, no.

“No, that’s right- nothing could make us not want these babies- so we’ll just have to go in there and listen to Paris and take it from there, ok? Are you with me?” Was it weird that he was still more terrified of just having to deal with Paris than anything feared could be on those test results?

Rory looked back at him, clearly still worried, but somewhat less panicked as he helped wipe the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, kissing her on the forehead before Paris stuck her head out.

“Gilmore!” Logan stood up, shaking his head, just once it would be nice if maybe she would say “Gilmore-Huntzberger” or something, acknowledge his presence, his part of all of this- but he also suspected that she knew he wanted that, and until Rory had totally made up her mind on where the two of them stood- permanently, he would remain on the list of _Persona Non Gratas_ to Dr. Paris Gellar, Esquire, M.D.

After Rory got situated on the exam table with her legs up and belly clear for the Ultrasound machine, a process she had clearly gotten very used to in the hospital, although it was much easier now that they could be done externally- Logan had been pretty shocked on his first experience with the internal version in the hospital, it was not at all what they showed on television or in movies- that had been an eye opener. This, with the blue gel goop and the paddle on the swollen belly, this felt much more normal, even if slightly cliche, and he found himself kind of reveling in it.

He held her hand while Paris was getting situated, going on about how she normally would have a tech do this, but since it was her best friend in the whole world, she wanted to make sure that even the relatively competent staff she hired at her clinic still weren’t allowed too close to her uterus- it was the strangest rule Logan had ever heard of, but he knew it was meant to be very sweet. He tried to tell her that.

“Thank you, Paris, we really appreciate your extra attention.”

“You know, Pretty Boy, I think when we’re seeing each other in this capacity, with my hand up your baby mama’s cervix, maybe it’s best you refer to me as Dr. Gellar?”

“Paris, stop- be nice to him!”

“What? I’m just saying that while Blondie here probably had to get his daddy buy his degree, some of us got three of them on our own merit and a little show of respect while in my place of business wouldn’t be totally out of line.” Logan just rolled his eyes, there was no way he was going to call her Dr. Gellar under _any_ circumstance, somehow it sounded way too kinky and was making him feel more than a little sick to his stomach. But, as usual, Paris just started to look through Rory’s folder, nodding her head and muttering to herself about whatever information she was gleaning from the lab results and intake details.

“Ok, now, you’ve actually picked up two pounds, which is really good- almost the first time this pregnancy you’ve gained weight, we like that. I take it the morning sickness is starting to get better?”

“Oh, tons, it’s down to like 10 hours at a time 4 days/week, instead of 14 hours, every day.” Rory was still experiencing plenty of nausea and dizziness and just generally feeling awful, but it did seem to be getting a bit better, abating somewhat- and they had finally identified some basic foods she could keep down- oatmeal, rice pudding, carrots (oddly, given the Gilmore Girl’s total avoidance of most vegetables) and tuna fish sandwiches.

“Well, you should be coming into the home stretch; by Valentine’s Day it should all pretty much be a thing of the past- you’ll still feel sick occasionally, and you’re carrying twins, so hormones will just be out of whack the entire pregnancy, but you should start to feel more energy and a major increase in sex drive in the next 2-4 weeks- trust me, it’s the only part of pregnancy that’s actually any fun at all. I know, with our first kid, Doyle barely had to touch me without my hitting my or--”

“Paris, I beg you, I will pay you twice you’re already exorbitant fee that insurance will not reimburse if you do not finish that sentence right there.” Sure Logan was mostly acting out of self-preservation, but Rory was looking pretty green around the gills herself… although, if Logan wasn’t totally mistaken, there was the faint hint of a blush under it. And, by the way, may God help him- they’d had sex _twice_ since he broke things off with Odette, just the idea of her blushing and his knowledge of how far that blush spread down her body… _SHIT man, you aren’t 14, get a hold of yourself._

“What? It’s very normal and natural, Huntzberger. The amount of oxytocin coursing through her body at this point can have her muscles down there contracting at a rate that will absolutely blow her mind- and just wait until all the hormones hit the labia and the….”

“Paris, now _I’m_ begging you to stop talking!” There were certain words that Rory never needed hear Paris Gellar say and 'labia' was absolutely at the very top of the list- despite the fact that she was her OB, there were so many things she didn’t need discussed around her, especially not  _with_ Logan present.

“Who knew Hester Prynne was such a prude? Well, if you’re not interested in my sage advice, I guess we can move on to the rest of your test results… we got back all the blood work and it was clean, no markers for genetic diseases or chromosomal disorders, the measurement of the spinal cords look normal so I’m not concerned about Downs… obviously we’ll check again at 20 weeks, but I’d be pretty confident with the health of these babies. Now… do you want to know what you’re having?” She was already moving to put on the rubber gloves and turn on the machine, knowing the answer but giving them one last chance to change their minds- not that she understood people who wanted to be surprised, but it happened.

Rory gave Logan one last look, asking him with her eyes- not just whether he was sure, but wanting to make sure he was ready, because, honestly, this was big. From this point on, for the rest of their lives together, this could be the biggest moment they would ever share. It was huge. Logan just squeezed her hand and smiled down at her, nodding his head- he was ready for anything.

“Well, if that wasn’t gross enough be on the cover of a Harlequin Romance novel than I don’t know what the hell is, but let’s get going on this so I can get you two out of my office before I actually join Rory in eternal nausea.” She put the wand over Rory’s belly- a belly Logan couldn’t help but think had to be too small for two babies at this point, not that he could claim to be an expert on the subject- he had been in London for both of Honor’s pregnancies and hadn’t really followed the weekly belly pics she had liked to post on Facebook.

“Ok, so, here is baby number one- heartbeat is strong, size is good, in a good position… and here," she was pointing to the second little baby on the screen, "Is baby number two… also in pretty great shape- I don’t see anything to be nervous about… so, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado... as for the genders…”


	22. Beatrice and Benedick and Chandler and Monica

_“Logan, are you- LOGAN!”  Logan’s face immediately drained of all color, he looked like he was going to pass out. The nurse in the room went to Logan and helped him to a chair, instructing him to put his head between his legs and breathe in and out slowly. Rory looked to Paris who was rolling her eyes, she also seemed to be trying not to laugh._

_“Well, Huntzberger, I gotta say, I’ve never thought all that much about Eastern Philosophy or any of that religious or spiritual bullshit, but I gotta say,_ you _having two girls is starting to make me believe in Karma, Jesus Christ and Santa Claus… wow, do you think you’re going to be able come up with two girls names that don’t match someone you slept with? I don’t know, looks like you’re going to have to go the bullshit Hollywood route and pick insane inanimate objects as names- aww, sweet, there go Mug and Table Huntzberger, aren’t they adorable?”_

_“Paris, stop!” Rory was looking at Logan, concern written all over her face as she saw him trying to get control over his breathing and heartrate. She got off the table, disregarding the goopy gel on her belly and her unfastened jeans as she went to kneel next to him, taking both of his hands in hers, making him look at her. “You alright in there, Logan? You’re kind of freaking me out here, and that isn’t good because I’m supposed to be the one who freaks out and you’re the one who calms me down. I thought we had a deal here, remember?” That made him smile as he looked at her. “Good, so what do you say I get this horrible gel off my belly and we go get some lunch… your daughters are hungry.” She smirked as she emphasized the word and he blanched again, he clearly was going to need to more time to process it._

_After lunch, when Rory watched Logan trying to come to terms with the fact that he was going to be a dad to two girls- two little, beautiful girls that would ultimately grow up and want to date, probably boys, boys like him and Colin and Finn had been. And seriously, if these girls were_ anything _like their mom, they were going to be stunning, and brilliant and all the boys were going to want to be with them, trying to kiss them, put their hands all over them, desperately doing anything, saying anything to just get in their pants._

_He must have looked strange, sitting across from her at the table because Rory could no longer contain her laughter at him._

_“What’s so funny?”_

_“So have you been trying to figure out just how much it would cost to build a tower in the middle of nowhere so no boys can ever find them? Or a moat maybe? Moats are good for that too, we could get some alligators, maybe even a few sharks, just for good measure.” She was smiling, her eyes bright as she mocked his very real concerns._

_“Come on, Ace, I’m not that bad.”_

_“Logan.” She glared at him- dammit, how did she know him so well? He sighed and grabbed her hand over the table._

_“I’m so excited- and I meant it, I really did, that I’d be happy if they were boys, girls or one of each- they’re healthy, that’s what matters.”_

_“But?” She squeezed his hand, he needed to be able to say things to her._

_“But come on! Paris was right, this is totally Karma! Because our daughters? Come on, they’re going to be so beautiful and smart and witty and amazing- I mean, we are going to have two more Gilmore girls! Has there ever been a boy on the planet that didn’t want to seduce a Gilmore girl? I mean,_ maybe _Taylor or Kirk….”_

_Rory had to giggle at that one, causing Logan to raise an eyebrow in question at her before he groaned. “Oh no- really?”_

_“Yeah, there was a time that Kirk asked Mom out- I was 16 I think? For about six months I would call him my future Daddy to Mom- I actually thought she was going to murder me- she seriously threatened to withhold coffee from me!”_

_Logan just groaned. “This is bad… this is very, very bad. There are so many idiot douchebag Lotharios out there just waiting to prey on beautiful, innocent girls- they’ve got lines, they’ve got moves, they work!”_

_“So, our daughters never get to speak to boys, they never date, they never get married.”_

_“Why are you acting like that’s a bad thing? Thousands of women lead productive and fulfilling lives as nuns.” That one made Rory spit water out of her mouth laughing._

_“Nuns? You think our daughters should be nuns?”_

_“What’s wrong with that?” He sat back, crossing his arms, daring her to come up with a compelling argument._

_“Well, for one thing, I don’t know if you or I could name the last time we crossed the threshold of a church, to say nothing of the fact that we aren’t Catholic.”_

_“Ok, fine, maybe nun was a bit extreme…” She snorted when he said “a bit”, “Ok, fine, I’m freaking the fuck out Rory- but come on! Look at me- I know what guys are like- the worst kinds of guys, the kind of guy that I would never in a million years want my daughters anywhere near!”_

_“Hold on, Logan, wait a second. Have you always lived the most exemplary and respectable life? I think we’d both be lying if we said yes- but seriously-_ today _you are the best man I know, the best man I’ve ever known, and I’d be so thrilled if our daughters ended up with someone like you.”_

_“Well, I bet that Lorelai would have a differing point of view- especially when we first got together…”_

_“Yeah, well, she’d also probably prefer I never stole a yacht or lost my virginity to my married ex-boyfriend. I’m sure that we’ve each done plenty of things in our lives that we hope our daughters don’t do- and I’m sure that they’re going to do things, make choices and behave in ways that make us cringe, that make us furious and make us cry… But I’m fairly certain that’s what we signed onto with this whole parenting thing; we have to try and teach them certain things, try and be there for them, and love them, even when it’s hard. Even if they bring home a drummer in a crappy Death Metal band or a guy that wants to be a mime… even if they pull a Paris and start dating a 60 year old Yale professor… Hell, they may actually choose to go to Harvard or Princeton- and we still have to accept them and their choices and love them regardless.”_

_That one made him smile at her; while neither of them wanted their kids to feel pressure to be “legacy” at Yale, it was definitely going to be a lot of blue, white and Bulldogs from the second these kids were born- they couldn’t help it- the best 4 years (well, 5 for Logan) had been spent as Elis. It's where they met, where they fell in love- so many of their best memories were on that campus._

_“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Harvard? Fine, Princeton? Maybe. But I’m putting it out there now that Brown is just a non-starter, ok? And don’t get me started on something like Stanford or Duke!” They smiled at each other, she noticed that Logan was starting to breathe again, calmly, probably for the first time since they found out the genders. Rory leaned in closer, squeezing his hand tighter and smiling at him, holding his gaze._

_“Look, I seem to recall a certain vow renewal wherein two “dads” walked in on the Playboy of Yale and an awfully innocent and seemingly could-do-no-wrong princess in an pretty salacious situation- shocking many, upsetting all… But ultimately, it lead to a fairly epic love story- one in which both people were forever changed for the better.”_

_“Yeah? The story sounds vaguely familiar… but I don’t totally remember the details.” She smiled at him, he loved that look on her face- her blue eyes sparkling._

_“Well, once upon a time there was this dashingly handsome ne’er do well Prince who spent his days seducing women, avoiding professors and throwing legendary balls that would put Marie Antoinette to shame. There was also a lovely young woman, a Princess from the kingdom of Stars Hollow- and she, while brilliant and beloved by her people, still preferred her days in the library rather than cavorting with the eligible princes and lords at Court. But one day, she encountered the young, handsome-”_

_“Dashingly handsome, you said dashingly handsome.”_

_“Fine, dashingly handsome ne’er do well Prince, and while at the time, she may have believed he was more frog than prince…’_

_“Butt-faced miscreant was the term I seem to remember… also an accusation that he was reminiscent of Judi Dench?” She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly._

_“Anyways,_ if _you’ll let me continue, please?” He nodded, motioning she should continue. “So, the man, despite his many failings, turned out to be the young Princess’ Prince Charming- the Benedick to her Beatrice… the Chandler to her Monica.”_

_“Really? You go from the greatest couple in Shakespeare to the characters of Friends?”_

_“Are you capable of keeping your opinions to yourself for even 30 seconds at a time?”_

_“I’m sorry, it’s just you go from Much Ado About Nothing- arguably the greatest love story in English literature, to a cheesy 90’s sitcom! I’m sorry if that seemed like a bit of a leap!”_

_“You know what? I’m done with the story- my point was that while you and I have done many questionable things, and at various points in our relationship we’ve had family disapproval, etc. But, we have obviously made each other better people; we have come through so much stronger than we ever could have been apart, we love each other even more than ever before. And I believe that no matter what idiot boys these girls may date; and no matter how many classes they skip or how many boarding schools they are kicked out of or yachts they steal- we will never stop loving them with everything we have. The best thing we can possibly do is just love them, teach them to be strong and brilliant like our parents did for us. All we can do is make them feel like they can talk to us, come to us with any problem. Got that?”_

_He looked in her eyes as she held his hand and his fears… well, this fears didn't exactly disappear, but they were better, he was breathing normally, his heartbeat had slowed. Sure, he was still somewhat terrified about his ability to be a dad, he was horrified about the guys like him that his girls would inevitably come across some day… but with women like Honor, Emily, Lorelai, Rory… hell, even Paris- these would be the strongest, most fiercely independent girls that ever walked this earth. Ironically, suddenly his fears shifted from how he would protect them from everything, to how he was going to survive 3 Gilmore girls in his life. And, even stranger, that thought brought the biggest smile to his face she had ever seen._


	23. Next Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for such a long delay between chapters, I had horrible writer's block, so I started another story- somehow that inspired me back here. I hope you enjoy the newest developments. 
> 
> Anyone out there have thoughts on names?

“Ace- hey, Ace, are you almost done working for the night?” She looked up, her hair in a messy bun at the top of her head like a Sumo wrestler. She wore yoga pants and a big t-shirt, a pen between her teeth and papers spread out all over the bed, her laptop in front of her. She was snapped out of her concentration by Logan towering over her, an indulgent smile on his face at her concentration.  

“Ummm, not quite- I really need to get this done tonight and this line just isn’t working…” She was already distracted from the conversation with him as she re-read something on the screen to herself, deleting something as she silently mouthed to herself a line or two from whatever it was she was working on. This time he was a bit frustrated and stole the laptop from her, turning the screen towards him to read. She reached out towards him, trying to keep him from it, calling out.

“No, Logan- it’s not ready for…” That was strange; she had been running segments of her book past him for the last two months- especially when she was stuck on how to say what she wanted to. She cringed a bit as he began to read aloud from her screen, her words never sounding as good when someone else spoke them.

 _“The very idea that we live in a state where survivors are not only required to_ prove _that they fought back against their own attacker- that in the wake of the most traumatic and violent experience of their lives, victims must_ provide _evidence that not only did they not submit- that they, in fact, physically fought back- a lack of 'verbal consent' apparently being immaterial._

 _“But, adding considerable insult to what is already an injury beyond the pale, Maryland has the shameless distinction, the loathsome and objectionable position that somehow, a man who has committed this most personal and intimate violation, does not_ automatically _have his rights of paternity stripped of him. That’s right, Maryland, this amazing state where I was born and raised, where I attended college and where I have chosen to raise my own family- this state remains one of eight states in the nation that chooses to protect the rights of rapists over mothers and children. This is a shameful disgrace, an outrage against the institution of parenthood and it is past the time to stand up and say, ‘this is wrong, this is immoral, and Marylanders will no longer stand behind rapists- stand behind survivors, we stand behind mothers and their children, we must change this archaic and patrimonial law that only serves to hurt the lives and rights of these children.”_

“Ace... uh, what exactly is this? Last I checked, you don’t live in Maryland; so why exactly does this read like you’re either whipping votes for a piece of state legislation or you're running for office there?” She was looking away from him, biting her bottom lip as he waited for an answer. “Ace, I’m waiting…” She sighed.

“Fine. Remember our fight a few weeks ago about how we need to figure out where we’re going to live and get an actual house- instead of living off my mom’s charity indefinitely in this tiny cottage?”

“Hard to forget- you used some pretty choice language on me at the time.” She grimaced at the memory; it had been a particularly emotional fight, she had been having all kinds of mood swings and was getting into nesting mode, which all the books said was normal and she should indulge in. Finn, Stephanie and Emily had been going a little overboard in sending gifts to the next generation of Gilmore Girls- dresses, blankets, toys, adorable onesies, mobiles… they took up so much space that Logan and Rory were feeling especially cramped in the hotel cottage, and when Logan tripped over the latest packages of the day, sending him sprawling, almost hitting his head on a table- he got a very minor concussion. The fight had just exploded at that point, they had each said things- horrible things. Logan just couldn’t understand why she was being so stubborn about him spending money on a house when she couldn’t contribute to it- especially because she _could_ contribute if she would just tap more into her trust fund, something she was loathe to do.

“Well… after that I started reaching out to contacts more about some work I could do from the comforts of my bed, pretty much freelance work of any kind. Well, I got a few responses, including one from Jess, who offered me some editing work for Truncheon that could all be done remotely.The pay was actually pretty decent, but I didn’t think you’d be particularly comfortable with that- me working for my ex, especially since I would have to occasionally travel to Philly for meetings and such.”

“Hey, that was a long time ago, Ace-I know I was kind of a dick about meeting him back in New Haven when he came by, but come on, I feel like I’m secure enough to handle a high school boyfriend. I mean, it’s not even like you ever even slept with him.”

At that she blushed and looked down at her hands in her lap- avoiding his gaze, causing Logan to narrow his eyes and try to piece it together.

“Unless… you have, since then, slept with him?” She kept looking at her hands, continuing to avoid his gaze. This was definitely news to him- somehow when they had come back together in Germany the conversation of past partners has been avoided, aggressively- that would be too much like they were trying to build a relationship, create something, what they had was in the moment, it was Vegas.

“Wow… I guess that makes sense. Umm, I mean, was it serious? How long were you together?” Why was he so upset about this? It wasn’t like she owed him anything about the times they were apart- or even when they were together, their Vegas agreement- he obviously knew there had been someone, but there could have been multiple someones for all he knew, and she hadn’t done anything wrong. So why was he feeling like he had been punched in the gut? Why did he have an almost overwhelming desire to drive the Philly and punch Jess in the face a few dozen times?

“Look, it was a few years after we broke up- I was going through a rough patch, career-wise, I was in Philly to interview for some bullshit city magazine writing position, he offered to take me to dinner... we had too much to drink, I was lonely…” She was tearing up, she looked afraid of what Logans reaction might be? That couldn’t be right, he could never take out this very confusing mix of emotions he was experiencing on her. “We saw each other for a month or two but _I_ thought it was totally casual- just old friends who were lonely in a big city, you know?” He nodded and held her hand, pretty sure he knew what was coming next. “Well, one night he told me he loved me and… it was just awful.” 

“Awful?” Logan raised an eyebrow. 

“I thought what we had was casual- we were friends. And it was so weird because in high school I loved him so much- I really did, but he broke my heart, a few times and maybe… I don’t know, maybe I was still holding all of that anger and hurt against him, or maybe we just really were too different in the end… but I just didn’t love him back- not even close.” At this point the tears were flowing freely down her face and she was angry, angry at herself for crying about another guy in front of Logan- the man who was the love of her life. She tried to collect herself, she wiped away tears and took some deep breaths, refusing to look him in the eye until she had calmed down.

“It took me a few more weeks to get up the nerve to end it- he took it pretty well, we stayed friends, albeit much more distant since then; Facebook updates, the occasional email and of course pleasant conversation when he’s in town to visit Luke. You gotta love breaking up with someone that ultimately becomes related to you. Wow, that sounds _very_ West Virginia and creepy, doesn’t it?” She looked at him and he gave her a small smile.  “Hey, I promise, even though I just cried about it for five minutes Logan, it’s definitely in the past- it meant nothing and it’s all over, really, I promise you, it wasn’t anything serious- not at all.” 

“Not for you.” 

“No, Logan, I swear- he actually started dating someone not long after, they lived together for like three years and it was really serious and he forgot all about me and our… whatever it was.” Logan huffed a laugh at that.  

“Hey, Ace, not to call the mother of my children an idiot, but I for one can tell you that trying to get over a Gilmore girl- specifically you, is _much_ easier said than done. I mean, I can’t blame the guy, his biggest fault seems to be that he has impeccable taste.” He was trying to be cool- he didn’t want to be the big growly jealous guy over an ex of her's- he knew how she felt about him, they were having a family together, Jess didn’t matter, not really, not like this. He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, stroking her cheeks to remove any stray tears before continuing. Just as she was pulling him towards her, trying to deepen the kiss, he pulled back.

“Hey, Ace, none of that actually explains your particularly well-written piece on rape statutes in the state of Maryland.”

“Oh. .Yeah, right. Well see, Jess’ offer got me thinking that I’ve got plenty of skills and talents, I don’t necessarily have to be a reporter to be happy or good at what I do. I like to write, I like to edit, I like current events and telling people what is happening- and I especially love being able to editorialize with a firm point of view. Honestly, sometimes the unbiased part of my job sucks- especially right now, in this social and political climate! I hate having to pretend that I don’t have an opinion on Black Lives Matter, on bathroom bans, on sexual assault on college campuses- I want to be able to effect change and maybe that doesn’t mean I sit back and passively report on what other people are doing and saying!"  

At this point she was standing up and trying to gather up some of the papers around her- papers that looked like printouts of legislation and survivor testimonials, old newspaper articles from _The_ _Baltimore Sun_ and _The_ _Washington Post_. She was waving her hands around and pacing in an agitated manner, but Logan saw a spark in her eye that he honestly hadn’t seen in awhile- she seemed excited and passionate about this idea- whatever it was, because he was still _very_ confused about what was happening.

“So, you want to run for office? In Maryland?” She wrinkled up her nose at him, clearly disgusted by the thought of that.

“Oh God no! Don’t get me wrong, I want to make a difference, but you know me, I don’t like being in the spotlight like that- and public speaking has never been my strong suit. No, I reached out to friends from the campaign and they put me in touch with some other people- one person is Communications Director for an amazing group in DC working to end Human Trafficking and they asked for some help writing for their website, which I did. Then the CEO needed a speech for a Gala and I helped write that, and there were a few politicos at the Gala and they liked the speech and asked for my name. Well, one of them is a member of the House of Representatives, serving the MD 6th District and she really likes my work, I’ve been working on speeches and press inquiries and I really, really like it.” She was crying, damn hormones, she was so emotional all the time these days and she hated it.

“Why didn’t you tell me this, Ace? I think it’s amazing- I think you’re amazing! Of course these people love your writing, it’s incredible- and I think you’re really onto something, writing about causes you care about and getting to let that show? The best things you ever wrote at the Daily News were the Editorials, not to mention the pieces you wrote during the campaign when you were allowed to sprinkle in opinion- your piece after Jeremiah Wright was particularly powerful. _“Not to let the motives of various outside parties to the Obama campaign get in the way of a particularly salacious scandal- militant Black preacher with anger at the US government and the implications of his association with the potential first Black president; but where was the moral outrage and endless dissection by the media after the bombings of Planned Parenthood centers and other women’s health clinics in the name of the Lord? Where was the guilt by association aimed at the NRA after Waco, after Columbine, after Virginia Tech?”_

She looked up at him, eyes big and blue and sparkling in wonder at the man before her. “You memorized my article?” He just chuckled, taking her into his arms, pulling her to him. How could this brilliant woman still not understand?

“Well, I can’t quote them all by heart, but you know how I say you’re incredibly hot when you’re angry?” She nodded, blushing. “Well, when I read that, I could practically see you- eyes blazing, spine stiff- ready to go into battle, using your pen rather than a sword- it’s still deadly, by the way. That piece grabbed me, it made me miss you even more than I had been for the last year at that point- it was damn good work, as, by the way, is this speech you’ve been working on.” He kissed her briefly, but thoroughly and she sighed into him, enjoying the moment.

“So, this brings up a particularly interesting coincidence, Ace, I think we should talk about it.”

“Yeah?”

“So, I would imagine that a good portion of the work that you’re getting in this particular line of work is based out of DC?”

“Yeah- that just seems to be where most of these organizations and everything are based out of.” 

“Well, Dad and I have been talking for a while, ever since the election, and we have been talking with a few other groups about establishing an Institute for Ethical and Unbiased Media- we spoke with a few different schools, Columbia, Yale, Northwestern… and Georgetown. So far Georgetown has been the most responsive- we want to set up a post-grad Fellowship working with the _Post_ and _USA Today_ and even the international relations school at Hopkins in DC- SAIS. What would you think if I agreed to Herr Huntzberger’s idea and I oversaw the start-up and inaugural class of it? How would you feel about us moving to DC?”

In a million years she wouldn’t have imagined that- she had been thinking for weeks how much easier this would all be from DC- she could really grow and develop a consulting/freelance business working for all kinds of causes and politicians- and so many of her friends from the Obama campaign were now press secretaries, Communications Directors… and now that was being handed to her on a silver platter.

“Wow, really? You’d move to DC?”

“To be honest, Ace, I’ve kind of pushing off my dad on the topic, I figured you wouldn’t want to leave the area with the girls on the way and your family and friends up here- but I have to admit, I am really excited about this Institute and the opportunity… I was even looking at houses in the area, it’s such a cool town- I don’t know how much time you got to spend there, but it’s a great place, the schools are amazing- I looked into Sidwell Friends and St Andrew’s and some of the other private schools and…”

“Wow, you have really done some thinking about this, haven’t you?” He smiled a bit shyly at her, he was excited- he had found a few neighborhoods that looked cosmopolitan but family-friendly, it seemed like a great place for them to really start their family.

“What do you say, Ace? Feel like jumping with me one more time?” She beamed at him as she responded,

“In omnia paratus!”


	24. Conversations We'll Never Have

“Mom, for the last time, I just don’t think it’s right to name one of my two daughters Lorelai- I’m worried non-Lorelai is always going to feel second place.” 

“Well, sure, if you name her Non-Lorelai she obviously will. Hey missy, I heard you roll your eyes.” That made Rory laugh into the phone- she _was_ rolling her eyes.  

“You can’t hear someone rolling their eyes, Mom.” 

“Hah! You admit it, you rolled your eyes!” 

“Seriously, Mom, more name ideas please- I’m completely lost!”

“Oooh, I know! Name them  _ both _ Lorelai!”

“Really? Cause _that_ won’t be confusing at all. Grandma Lorelai, Mommy Lorelai and then both daughters named Lorelai.”

“You can call them Lorelai 1 and Lorelai 2.”

“Like Thing One and Thing Two from Cat in the Hat? Seriously? Not to mention wouldn't Lorelai 2 always thinks that she’s second place?”

“Well, then she should have fought harder coming out, clubbed her way out first.”

“Oh yeah, cause a real death match between the two of them is exactly what I want happening in my birth canal right at that moment.”

“Believe me hon, when it comes down to it, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between that and the normal searing pain that is the magic of labor.”

“See, this is why I should never tell you anything! I have one freak out with Logan after reading that  _ horrible _ book and  _ you _ , my mother, instead of comforting me and telling me everything will be ok, it’s not really that bad, go  _ out of your way  _ to torment me with how terrible it’s going to be. I’m never telling you anything ever again!”

Just then Logan walked in the door carrying two bags of Chinese takeout that smelled amazing- and Rory was hungry. 

“Ok, well, Logan just got home with food and Mama’s hungry, so once again, thank you for being absolutely no help at all.”

“Awww, anytime sweets-I'm always glad to be of no help!” Rory hit end call on her phone and looked up at Logan who was unpacking all the food, shaking his head but smiling at the tail end of the conversation he just heard. 

"I swear to God, I think next time she suggests Lorelai I'm telling her I'm naming them Emily and Trix." She  put down the cell phone and moved to get the plates but stopped to kiss him on the way. He smelled so good and Rory suddenly didn't want to let him go. He was about to pull away from her but she just hooked her arm around his neck and pulled him closer, unwilling to give up the contact, wanting more of it- suddenly needing so much more of it. She gently bit his bottom lip making him moan against her as she teased him by nibbling on it, then swiping her tongue over it before she began to suck on the spot, right before pulling him even closer for an even more bruising and passionate kiss. When they came up for air moments later he asked, 

“Hey, Ace, not to shoot myself in the foot here, but didn't you say you're hungry?” In all the time they’d been together he didn’t think that he had ever come before food- it was basically rule #2 in the Gilmore Girls handbook and now that rule #1 was moot (thou shalt not deny a Gilmore Girl coffee), he couldn’t believe she was delaying eating dinner for…

“I  _ am  _ hungry, just not so much for dinner right now.” She was breathless from the kiss- she had no idea where this had come from, she just went to kiss him welcome home and all of a sudden her body was on fire- she had to have him. She began kissing and nibbling her way down his neck, unbuttoning his shirt as she sucked at a spot right below his collarbone, making him moan, 

“Ace. Fuck.” He could feel himself getting unbelievably hard- she noticed it too and moved her left hand to cup him, stroking firmly before she dropped to her knees, unbuckling his belt and tearing his pants and boxer briefs down in one swift move, allowing her to almost instantly take his cock into her mouth- instantly deep throating him, causing him to fall back on his hands, trying to brace himself. “Oh, fuck me, yes.” Her mouth was so warm, her lips so soft- she swallowed him, increasing the suction and the pressure in the most delicious way he'd ever experienced. Logan had been on the receiving end of many blow jobs in his life, but no one could compare with her- she approached it with such dedication and enthusiasm... she licked up the underside of his shaft and then lightly nibbled her way back down. She sucked hard, swirling her tongue over his tip and just as he was about to lose his mind entirely she looked up at him with those giant blue eyes peeking out from under her long, dark lashes and it was the sexiest combination of totally innocent and wanton sex goddess. 

He was trying not to thrust into her, his fingers running through her hair, but it wasn’t easy for him to keep any control when she was doing that to him. She moved one hand to his cock, firmly pump him and the other went to play with his balls just a little bit, making him hiss and tangle his fingers through her stunning chestnut locks, moaning her name as he felt himself getting closer and closer. “Oh fuck, Ace, oh God, you’re amazing, this feels so amazing. Oh, hell, yes, right there, exactly like that.” And then all of a sudden she looked up at him, luscious lashes, swollen lips and winked at him- pushing him over the edge- he came against the back of her throat, moaning and saying her name as she sucked and swallowed through his orgasm, looking up and enjoying the way way he looked, the way she had made him feel, it was such a power rush for her. She finally pulled away from him and although he was desperately trying to catch his breath, he pulled her up and towards him, kissing her, tasting the saltiness of him on her lips and tongue. 

“God, Ace, that was absolutely fucking incredible. I mean… just… wow.” He was breathless, his heart was racing, and he was so in love with this woman who made him feel things he'd never felt before. And then his signature smirk was back as he looked at her, his voice going husky, while still trying to fully catch his breath as he leaned into her face with his sexiest leer. “But now, if you don’t mind, I am nothing if not a gentleman... and a gentleman would pay his debt promptly- I believe it's your turn.” She smiled as he began to kiss down her neck while untucking her shirt, quickly pulling it up over her head, throwing it across the kitchen before picking her up by the hips and placing her on the kitchen island- deftly removing her bra so that he could pull her breast- wow, these stunning mounds, only larger since she became pregnant, into his mouth, gently nibbling at her nipple, causing her to gasp at the sensation, running her fingers through his hair, pulling him even closer, unsure he could ever get close enough for her satisfaction. He released her breast and quickly trailed his way down her torso stopping at her naval, swirling his tongue there, making her gasp and grip his hair a bit tighter. He continued sucking and licking all her creamy skin- enjoying how it had been expanding, loving that their babies were inside of her, growing- it only made her sexier to him. He was leaving small marks along his way down as he began to unbutton her jeans- only to discover she wasn’t wearing anything under them. He groaned as he lightly bit her pelvic bone. 

“Oh come on, Ace, seriously- you’re not wearing anything?” She giggled and shrugged, responding with,

“Laundry day.”

‘God, it works for you.” He finished pulling the jeans down and without even thinking took her in his mouth- causing her to moan his name instantly. She moved one of her hands, the one not supporting her as she sat on the kitchen island, and began to play with one of her nipples while he enjoyed the slightly salty but still fresh taste that was so essentially her. She was just so wet and delicious that moaned into her core and, God help him, it was making him hard again. He was a dedicated lover, always making sure to take his time- licking along her folds, teasing her center, working her thoroughly- his tongue both licking and thrusting, alternating slow and fast as she writhed beneath him. And then, every so often he would move in and nibble her, flicking at her clit with tongue before sucking on it briefly- never wanting to totally overwhelm, well, not yet anyway.

And then he could feel and hear her breathing change, causing him to double down making sure to never fully lose contact- right now there was nothing in the world but his mouth, his tongue and her. She bucked her hips against him, shouting his name, moaning obscenities (that never failed to turn him on, hearing his fully respectable and usually very proper Ace swear like a sailor), and he felt her tighten around him in her climax, screaming. He didn’t let her go yet, not until he had fully worked her through her pleasure- his mouth keeping contact, his tongue continuing to thrust as she came down from ecstasy and tried to catch her breath. He pulled up and kissed her, lightly on her lips, then her forehead. 

“God, Ace, you must be the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” He pulled her to him,  a deep kiss on the mouth, their tongues warring lazily, enjoying everything about the last ½ hour they had spent together. She sat there on their brand new kitchen island, half naked and looking perfectly sated, totally happy and desperately in love with this man, holding his forehead to her’s, arms around his neck as she just enjoyed the moment. 

About 10 minutes later the couple had dressed, Logan had taken a very fast shower and they were eating dinner at the dining table (the island's counter obviously needing a thorough cleaning), smiling as they thought about what had just happened, basking in being together, in their own place- loving their new digs in DC. 

* * *

Later that evening, lying in bed, they were talking if anything came to mind, lightly dozing off if not, and finally Logan had to ask.

“So, Ace, dare I ask what got into you tonight, when I got home? Not that I’m complaining, not even the  _ tiniest _ bit, but you just… I don’t know, that level of throw down… it was different.” Her instigating oral sex in the middle of the kitchen when he had just brought home food was not just unusual, it was unprecedented. Not that she hadn’t always pretty much gone along if he instigated it or seduced her, she historically had loved it when he threw down- pinning her against a wall or his hands straying in the back of a town car with a driver up front. And there were plenty of times in bed that she had been the one to bring him to her mercy… but this, tonight… that had been different- she had been desperate to have him right then and there, no questions, no refusals.

“I can’t explain it- I guess it’s the hormones, but I kissed you and then… I had to have to you.” He could tell, even in the dark that she blushing, but he just leaned into her and pushed a stray hair behind her ear, kissing her forehead in encouragement. “I don’t know, you know, everyone said that around four months this was going to happen, this… insatiable need. And of course, Paris warned me that since I’m having twins and my hormones have been particularly out of whack, I may get this worse than most.” She was burying her head into the pillow at her side, unintentionally nuzzling Logan’s side- refusing to look at him in embarrassment. He couldn't deny how cute it was that they had been together this long, and in so many ways, and was still embarrassed to talk about it.

“And, uh, can I ask... What is  _ this _ , exactly?” Logan asked- knowing full well what she meant, but he just loved teasing her so much- she was too cute about it all. She blushed, burrowing further into his side, but definitely smiling.

“Well… Apparently for the next 2-3 months or so, I’m basically going to be using you just for your body. My hormones are going to make me impossible to truly satisfy, I’m going to want sex just pretty much 24/7.” And then she suddenly looked up at him, a mischievous grin on her face. “I can only hope that you can keep up.”

“Oh, is that so? Worried I can’t keep you satisfied?” He growled at her and flipped her onto her back, leaning over her, bending down to kiss her as thoroughly as possible, moving his hands up and down her, quickly discarding her pajamas… it was possible this would be the best 2-3 months of his life. 

* * *

The next morning Rory was awake surprisingly early- the babies were either trying to kick at her or she had particularly rough indigestion, she wasn’t totally sure when she would be able to tell the difference- but either way, she wasn’t sleeping any later. Groaning inwardly she decided that if she wasn’t going to be able to sleep longer, she may as well get up and try to finish unpacking the study where she had been working. There wasn’t a ton left to do, mostly just unpacking the last boxes of books, deduping when necessary and continuing to organize by genre and alphabetical order combined- a debate she and Logan had spent hours on.

Sighing, she pushed the covers away from her and got out of bed, pulling on her robe as she stroked her belly- a belly that had most definitely popped- she was now 23 weeks in, Paris had warned her that the twins were likely to come sometime between 33 and 36 weeks- statistically speaking they just came early. She was pretty sure the weird flutters she had been feeling were the babies kicking, but they were so tiny and so similar to gas that she didn’t want to get Logan’s hopes up either- that would just be weird to get him all excited for indigestion.  

She quietly moved into the study, looking around at how beautiful the room was. Their Georgetown brownstone was a classic home, and while there were built in bookcases in the Family Room, by the fireplace, there was another room with almost wall to wall bookcases built in except two large bay windows overlooking the front and side yards- this was the room they had designated as her study/library/office. She moved over to one of the last boxes of books, a box she didn’t recognize at hers. 

As she pulled volumes out it was obviously Logan’s- plenty of Vonnegut, _The Lord of the Rings_ trilogy, Hunter Thompson, TC Boyle, a complete set of Sinclair Lewis novels- all favorites of his. But then, at the bottom of the box was another box, a large brown box with shipping labels all over it. She reached in and pulled it out, having no idea what it was- until she opened the lid and saw a bound but unpublished book- a sample manuscript she guessed? 

_ Conversations We’ll Never Have by Mac.  _ Her breath hitched, could this possibly be by Logan? He had written a book- when? She opened it noting the publication information, the dedication page and title page, all blank. But then she saw the Author’s Note. 

_ Even five years ago I never would have believed that anyone would ever pay attention to a random blog- I mean, who in their right mind takes the blog of a stranger seriously? All I knew at the time I began it was that I needed to put things down, words on paper, so to speak- I had too many feelings to share and honestly, I began to find the anonymous feedback and input from strangers to be helpful, somehow therapeutic, certainly more constructive (usually) than just writing the words on my own computer in a Word document.  _

_ What I really didn’t expect to happen was finding the importance of a specific hashtag/label within my blog, seeing how it resonated with so many- #Conversationswellneverhave. Not only were these often the most cathartic things I ever wrote, but somehow they seemed to reach out to others, balm for their souls as well. And who hasn't experienced deep heartbreak and spent years of their lives wondering, what if? What if things hadn't gone how they did, what if you did get your happily ever after with that person? Or barring a fairy tale ending, at least more time, time enough to speak about these things, because who wouldn't give for one more day, one more hour, one more conversation with that person they loved and lost. And that is what these are, they are the writings, the musings, the imagined tete a tetes between me and the love of my life- my Ace.  _

_ You see, I met  _ the _ woman for me- she was perfect, and even in the days when I was far from it myself, she brought out the best in me, helping me become the best version of me that has ever existed- she helped me to remember my love of the written word and the business I was born to inherit; she helped encourage me to break away from family ties and obligations and gave me the courage to pursue my real passions- even when chancy and very uncertain. She taught me that there is nothing scary about being in love with your soulmate, that commitment to the person who completes you is infinitely better than spending anytime with those who don’t.  _

_ My Ace and I lived together, we loved together. We fought, we celebrated, we annoyed the hell out of each other with dirty socks on the floor, unmade beds and debates over Ocean’s 11 vs Ocean’s 13 more times than I could ever truly recount to most people if they weren’t there. We shared a bed, we shared hopes and fears, we shared lifelong friends… but somehow we never quite shared the same dream. My dream was to spend the rest of my life with her, to make her Mrs. Mac… or hell, to be Mr. Ace- either way was fine with me. But she needed time, she needed to explore her options and the world and, instead of giving her the time and the flexibility to go out and do that- the same time and flexibility she had unquestioningly given me only a year earlier- I demanded an answer- she would marry me or no.  _

_ And that is how I ended up walking away from the only woman in my life I have loved- the only woman who has ever made me  _ want _ to be in love. And while my life is now fine- I won’t argue that it is complete or fulfilled, it is certainly an adventure. I have my friends Fred and Chuck, I have my bicycling, my hiking, a thriving career and a sister with the most beautiful child (my niece) I’ve ever met. My life is fine, and I’m fine… but sometimes, as you may have read in between tales of my trips to the Greek Islands or my very much edited reunions with my college’s secret society, or even what it was like meeting my darling niece for the first time… I’m still haunted by the various conversation that She and I will never have. This book is a compendium of the ones I’ve written about over the years, thought and commentary on them, musings…thorough explanations on the topic of all the things I had hoped we would talk about in our many years together… years we did not have.  _

I couldn’t keep the tears in my eyes, I couldn’t believe this. I had heard rumblings years back about a blogger, and Mac sounded familiar, maybe? But it was during the time that blogs were only beginning to become acceptable/legitimate media and I wasn’t really paying attention, assuming they were all more LiveJournal kinds of adolescent drama that Lane and I had always alternated between keeping ourselves and mocking without remorse. But I knew many people had made their names as legitimate bloggers- writing anything from news commentary to money saving/budget tips or even love advice. Apparently Logan had somehow taken his everyday life- a fascinating one, I knew it had to have been, I mean, this was Logan, his life would obviously be fascinating and his ability to tell a story had always been something to be jealous of- this book could have been a best seller. Why had I never heard anything about it? I just stared at it- obvious questions written all over my face. 

“It never got published.” There he was, leaning against the doorframe, wearing an undershirt and pajama pants, his hands in his pockets, ankles crossed, looking at me. I was surprised to see him there, but not shocked- he didn't like to sleep when I wasn't in the bed next to him. 

“What are you doing up?”

“Well, once you left the bed I had a harder time holding you- that obviously woke me up and I came to see what you were up to- somehow I had a feeling you would be dying to get through the boxes of books in this room.” He was smirking at how well he knew me. Then he became a little pensive, really looking at me and what I was holding in my hands. “So, you found my manuscript?” He walked over to me, crossing his legs as he sat across from me, taking the sample from me. 

“How did I not know that you wrote a book? Even if you never got it published… I mean, this is more than just a galley copy- this was not you _trying_ to get it published, it was going to be published, clearly this was _you_ not wanting it to be published- what happened?” He smiled, amused a bit that she knew the difference between galley/unpublished/published/sample books. But of course she did, this was his Ace- she knew the ins and outs of everything to do with the written word, or so it always seemed. 

“Have you read any of the blog entries, they’re all at the beginnings of the chapters?” He had a look of vulnerability I couldn’t say I was used to from him… but I would be the first to admit it was an attractive alternative to his smirk. I just shook my head but then, more than a little curious, I opened the book randomly- it was the third chapter.

_Today I was summoned to a dinner with my family. Obviously these are about as much fun as a three hour root canal without the novacaine, although they have become somewhat more tolerable since my company has begun to do well. Now at least I’m no longer a traitor to the family name_ AND _a failure, now it’s just the first. But, upon word that my beloved older sister would be there, I couldn’t really fight the decree- I haven’t seen her in almost six months and it’s been terrible- but work has been so busy and there was that utter failure of a an attempt at a relationship with the woman who pretended she loved to read- but really was just a fan of Spark Notes to seem intelligent. Well, I probably should have expected the reason behind the dinner (my parents had sworn it was not a setup after all), but during the dinner, my sister jubilantly announced her first pregnancy._  

_ Obviously I should have been expecting it- they have been married almost four years at this point, and my understanding was that while they weren’t ready to procreate immediately, they were very much looking forward to a family of 3-5 kids when the time was right. My parents’ insistence that I fly across the country had originally felt more like another attempt to bring me back into the fold, not really a celebration of my favorite persons’ fecundity, and I have to say that I’m thrilled to be so happily surprised- I’m so excited to be an uncle! Uncle Mac- it’s going to be amazing!  _

_Is it strange that I’m actually hoping its a girl? I think a lot of uncles hope for a nephew, but not only do I think that someone who is my sister’s mini-me would be amazing for the world- I mean, she certainly is a major reason that I’m a decent person, she was the one who kept me sane growing up in a family full of insane people who barely liked each other… she was always the one who kept me strong and made sure I knew I was loved by someone and every kid should have a big sister who makes them feel that way. And if that means that Uncle Mac is spending the next 8 years of his life having tea parties, watching Disney princess movies and playing dress up, then I hope I can find every Prince Charming costume out there in a size 42R… because I will always be her prince, her white knight… whatever she needs._  

_ I just wish… I just can’t help but think about having this conversation with my Ace. Not that we would be having kids yet- she had too many dreams to accomplish first, I always assumed that would be a few years (at least) down the line- maybe five or six? But then, how many kids would we be planning to have?  _

_ You know, Ace, I kind of want three, maybe even four… but hell, if you wanted one or two, that would be more than ok with me- I still get caught up in the idea of your eyes with my hair, or vice versa, that would be a stunning combination itself- with fewer Aryan Nation jokes to be made, obviously. I always hoped for two girls and one boy- is that insane? Sure, I’d love a son to try and play catch with- to play trains and legos and all other kinds of father-sons activities that I’d love to experience…Not to mention, a brother who could protect them from other boys as they grew older wouldn't be a bad thing. But two mini-Aces running around? You know I’d never regret anytime I spent having tea parties with 30+ dolls and stuffed animals, speaking to Princess Blondie and Queen Ellie the elephant about the weather and the upcoming ball… although, Ace, I have no idea if that’s what you grew up doing- are these the ways you envisioned our kids growing up?  _

_ Obviously, we’d spend plenty of time with your crazy mom and that town that is a well meaning experiment in outpatient mental health therapy. Of course I envision them attempting to be dancing bulbs in the Spring Festival dance show and I can absolutely see them in a  _ Festival of Living Art _ \- maybe playing the daughters in Sargent's  _ Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose _ \- once again my hair and your eyes making them absolute shoe-ins for the famous work of the iconic impressionist portrait artist.  _

_And then, as they got older, given your experience, would you want them to go to prep school? Obviously, I never had the choice, but you got the best of both worlds, what would be your preference? We could always try to meet somewhere in the middle- maybe send them to a more liberal but academically respected and rigorous quaker or even parochial school? I don’t see boarding school as a conversation you’d even entertain, and I have to admit that I’m not particularly interested myself- I think we both know that I’d prefer to be there, around our children, as much as possible. God, can you imagine your best friend’s band mates getting a hold of them and teaching them music? Dear God, what if we end up with the next set of Hanson Brothers or another sibling band????_  

Rory’s eyes were full of tears, a few streaming down her cheeks, she was trying, rather unsuccessfully to keep them contained as she read through the beginning of the chapter. As she skimmed through the following pages she saw essays on private schools vs public schools, statistics about siblings growing up with an older brother vs older sister and even thoughts on Sargent’s favorite painting referenced in the entry. It seemed the structure of the book was the musings of a man, speaking to his ex girlfriend about the things they never spoke about- and then well-written, well-researched essays on the topics raised in the emotional blog entry. 

All of them began with conversations he’d never have with his Ace… with her. Conversations they should have had- they would have had years ago if they hadn’t broken up at her college graduation. And while a part of her wanted to scream and hit him for being the reason that had happened- she was still angry at the way he had reacted to her “not yet”, treating that as though it had been a “not ever”- but she was past that- wasn’t she? 

She looked up at Logan, the love of her life, someone who had put his heart on his sleeve… at least virtually. He just looked back at her. 

“Come on, are you saying that you didn’t write anywhere about our failed love?”

“I… well, definitely never online and to the public.” He looked at her, smirking, remembering her almost obsessive journaling she had always done- Lorelai would tease her mercilessly about her it daily record, but it had changed over the time they were together to be only when she was either working through something (do I want to appease Paris and just take the LSATs or stand up to her?) rather than simple accountings of her daily activities. She did continue to keep up with a review of every book she read- something Logan would always be amazed by- even if it was her 70th time through Emma, she would write another entry, discussing her reactions and analysis, noting a new theme or line she had never paid attention to before. She was just looking at him, crying, wishing she knew what to say so he began, kind of awkwardly trying to explain. 

“I guess I just needed a place to talk about what I was feeling. It didn’t start that way. Originally I was trying to make it a fresh start kind of blog- you know, ‘hey, just moved to the West Coast, I’m in Palo Alto, what should I do?’ But then people would either comment on great date spots or there was the time I wrote about thinking about chopping down that damn avocado tree because I just couldn't stand to look at it anymore and… it just sort of started to come out. I had a decent following- I still don't really know how that happened, but I was on a network of bloggers and it was discoverable… and then Conversations We’ll Never Have started- actually, it was the night that I heard you were on the Obama Campaign.” He took the manuscript and turned to chapter 1, handing it back so she could read it. 

_ And it turns out that my Ace… wow, she’s truly an Ace at last- well, I just heard she got the job of a lifetime- so close to her lifelong dream. And I have to admit, had she said yes when I proposed? I really don’t know that she would have ever said yes to it, to the job. I’m not sure I could have been happy for her if she took this particular job, it would have involved her traveling  _ a lot, _like almost every day for the next six months at least,_ _  and maybe still would have turned into nothing… or maybe it would open up every possible opportunity for her… and I'm terrible because I'd almost have been rooting for her to fail, wouldn't I? I would have wanted her to fail so she was here, with me... but she most likely will kick ass and succeed with all of her lofty dreams and never be satisfied with life out here with just me. _

_I never meant to hold her back- never_ wanted _to hold her back. I don’t want a wife like I was raised to expect, someone like my mother- a trophy wife in every sense of the term. I love that she has no interest in my money or how comfortable I can make her life. After all, she’s the one who moved out of an apartment with a doorman and 1600 sq feet, not to mention a particularly dapper suit of armor to protect her, to move into a hovel that Sinclair Lewis would have argued was unfit for a family of 17 Lithuanian Immigrants trying to make ends meet while working at the meat packing factory. She did that so she was standing on her own two feet, so that she was her own woman. Gold Digger, Trophy Wife, Freeloader… none of these words were possibilities for my Ace, and those are things that I always loved about her more than I could have ever imagined._  

_ But I understand that in certain worlds, certain circles, this is all easier said than done. So, Ace, could we have pulled it off? Could we have managed to be what we wanted to be- me running off and managing a different kind of company than I was raised to run, you pursuing your dreams- both of us living lives that oftentimes seemed at odds? It’s more than possible that we could have managed it… but will we ever know? Will I ever know whether Ace and Mac could have worked past all the obstacles against us? Made it through the odds? Did we really ever have a chance?  _

_ As I sit here, tonight, after one of the worst blind dates I’ve ever been on in my life, someone I had been assured was ‘perfect’ for me by someone I trusted… well, I don’t know if  you and really could have worked it all out, but I have to admit that I’d just about kill for that chance- that I so sincerely wish for the opportunity to find out for ourselves- I understand what that chance would have meant to us. And maybe I walked away far too easily, far too quickly, I mean, I was the one signalling (ok, fine, saying flat out) that I wasn’t willing to find out- and that’s something I will try and live with, something I will always regret. I only hope that someday I have the chance to let you know what an idiot I was- some day when you've achieved your dreams, maybe then I can tell you, I can show you… we can try again to make our lives together. _

_Because as of today, I have yet to stop wanting that… will I ever not_ want _to be in love with you?_  

Rory looked up at Logan, tears falling freely from her eyes and she wasn't even trying to wipe them away. She was so in love with this man that it almost hurt- she almost ached inside. She had spent the last 12 years of her life in love with him- no matter what she said or who else she dated in that time, it had always been him. Never before in her life has she cared about something to the point that she didn’t give a fuck about the consequences- but the last few years, their affair, she honestly just hadn't cared about the consequences. And that- right there, along with what she had read tonight… she couldn’t explain it- she wasn’t sure she wanted to, it just told her everything that she didn't know she had been trying to figure out. She knew- she just knew exactly what she wanted and she wasn't going to wait anymore. Before she lost her nerve she just decided to go for it.

“Logan?” Her eyes big and blue and the sun was rising behind her, making her look almost angelic. They were sitting there, her in a light blue robe, belly protruding out just enough under the tie that he could see her bellybutton; him in his pajamas, his hair mussed and his eyes smiling at her beauty. 

“Yeah, Ace?”

“Will you marry me?”


	25. Question Answered

_“Logan?”_

_“Yeah, Ace?”_

_“Will you marry me?”_

Rory was just sitting there, looking up at Logan with her big, blue eyes, smiling through her tears, waiting for him to say yes and to kiss her and make it official. So it was a bit of a shock when he started to laugh. Her eyes went wide, her face instantly colored bright red and she looked absolutely deflated- there was no wind left in her sails. What had just happened? Didn’t he want to marry her? Hadn’t he been wanting to marry her for ten years and it was always _her_ that brushed it off or turned him down or pretended it never happened?

But now, a laugh she always loved, a laugh that always made her feel light and airy and like she was home… was he seriously mocking her? Mocking this? She couldn’t handle that thought- maybe it was pregnancy hormones, maybe it was the situation, but no matter the reason, she just looked at him- soulful, terrified and ashamed as she got up and walked into the bathroom- she did not want him to see her cry.

Too late, Logan realized how it must look and ran to the bathroom after her, knocking on the door and trying to plead. “Oh, Ace, oh my God, no- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Shit- why couldn’t he have held that laugh in for ten seconds to just say yes? He just knew she was trying to cry as quietly as possible on the other side.

“Ace, I’m so sorry- it’s just… I was surprised- you took me by surprise. I’m so sorry that I laughed, that was the worst thing I could do.” No sound on the other side. “Please, Rory, come on, you know how much I want to marry you and be a family- I’ve been dying to make you mine for so long now. I’m sorry.” Still silent. Fuck, man, at this point you should probably just go for broke. Before he had a chance to bare his soul to her she texted him-

“Go the fuck away.” What was he supposed to do with that? He ran out of the room, his phone already dialing his number one confidante- the only person he trusted on this issue.

“Logan? Seriously? This had better be good, I just got Amelia to sleep- she has been teething and I swear to God, it was the first time in 4 days I was going to be able to get into my own bed. What the hell can you possibly be calling about at 10:30?” She sounded exhausted, Logan suddenly felt like he had a tiny inkling what parenthood was going to look like- and as horrible as she sounded, he couldn’t really help but smile at the thought.

“Rory proposed and I laughed.” Silence on the other end for a few beats.

“I’m sorry. I feel like I might be missing some information here due to my complete and total sleep deprivation. I mean, that’s the only explanation for the way that I just hallucinated that the love of your wife, carrier of not one but two of your children- the woman you have pined for the last, what, 13 years? She theoretically goes temporarily insane and proposes marriage to your sorry ass and although you have bought not just one, but _two_ ridiculously over the top engagement rings for her, you laughed at her instead of saying ‘hell fucking yes, let’s head to Vegas now’? Is that seriously the story you’re going to go with? And keep in mind that I am your big sister and adore you and am probably being kinder to you than anyone else would ever be in this situation?”

“Well, it’s nice to know that I always have you on my side, Hon.” Logan was rolling his eyes and internally groaning. He knew that he fucked up, but seriously, he couldn’t get any love or understanding from the second most important woman in his life? He sighed deeply and explained everything that happened, only to hear a few particularly choice epithets from her mouth.

“Do you actually kiss your children with that mouth?”

“Oh please, you don’t want to know what I do with this mouth, Little Brother.”

“Fuck, Honor, really? You can’t spare a poor younger sibling the gory details?”

“What details? At most it was an insinuation of possible gore- not to mention my Big Sister’s Perogative.”

“Do I need to remind you that although you bribed the Indonesian Coast Guard for me, I once walked in on you and-”

“Ok, fine, I’ll drop it all. For now. So, tell me, how are we going to fix your heinous mix up so that you’re allowed to visit your daughters before their coming outs?”

“Gee, thanks. And if I knew how to fix the situation, I probably wouldn’t have contacted you, would I? I’m obviously desperate for ideas- I’m seriously ten minutes away from calling Finn.”

“Ok, fine, call down- here’s what we’re going to do.” They talked another 10 minutes before Logan felt like Rory had enough time to calm down, to process and be ready to listen- and he was prepared to seriously go for broke. He walked back into the main area and knocked on the bathroom door- knowing she was still in there, but she wasn’t making much noise. Finally, he just breathed in and decided to let it all out.

“Rory, seriously, you have to know that I wasn’t laughing at you, not in a million years. I love you, you know how much I love you and I’ve been dying to marry you for almost longer than I can say.” Continued silence on the other end- except for a tiny squeak that makes it sound like she shifted on the closed toilet seat. “Seriously, Ace, you know that trip we’re supposed to take this weekend? Up to Connecticut? Well I was going to take you to New Haven, to your favorite coffee cart, the one where we met and I was going to propose. I’ve been working on it for about six weeks now. Yeah, it’s true, I’ve had Colin and Finn scouting locations, sending ideas- we’ve got a secret code names, burner phones, outfits and everything planned out and then you just go and you steal my thunder like that and it’s just… I’m sorry but I thought the irony was a bit much, that’s all- _that’s_ why I laughed. I _just_ put the finishing touches on the whole plan _today_ , that’s why I was late getting home. Please… don’t hate me. Rory, I love you, you have to come out and let me say yes, yes I will marry you- I love you and I love our daughters.” His heart was racing, he felt like emotionally he was being pulled into a million directions at one time.

Now he heard quiet crying on the other side, sniffles as though she was trying to stop the tears, but no discernable movement on the other side. He shook his head, he really had spent at least thirty hours at this point working on the plan for the perfect proposal- intimate and romantic and nostalgic, everything he got wrong the first time around. He’d spent weeks working with a designer to have the perfect ring made for her, he’d talked to Lorelai and to Christopher about it and gotten their blessings (well, Lorelai’s reaction had been a charming “huh, what do you know, some people _do_ buy the cow after getting the milk for free)... he had a dress picked out for her to wear on their date to the Old Campus, flowers he was planning to send to her the day of, a hotel suite for after, including candles and rose petals to be spread throughout the room when they got back- and then she just up and asks him, upending so many careful and romantic plans.

And he had laughed. And now, she wouldn’t come out of the bathroom. _Brilliant job, Huntz. Wow. Some dad you’re going to be._ He sighed, rubbing his eyes, still not believing that he was in this situation- he was pretty sure this was a plot line taken from some horrible romance novel his sister tended to read while on vacation- books he honestly wished he knew nothing about. Running his hands through his hair one more time he decided to try one more time- go big or go home, Huntz. In omnia, right?

“Rory, 13 years ago my dream in life was to spend my entire life drinking and traveling with Colin and Finn, going from supermodel to supermodel, annoying my dad as much as possible while simultaneously squandering away my trust fund and, most likely, his media empire.

“And then, exactly when I least expected it, I met someone really special. There was this woman, standing outside Branford Hall, short dark hair and mesmerizing blue eyes, and she was different. She was gorgeous, she was classy, she was feisty, and she was brilliant. She was unafraid to call me on my bullshit, she even once called me a buttfaced miscreant; she made me actually _ask_ for assignments at the _Daily News_ just so I could try and impress her with my mad writing skills and spend some time around her- even when she hated me.” He was pretty sure he heard a soft snort on the other side. “She gave me the courage to stand up to my father and move to California, where, aside from being lonely missing her beautiful face every single day, I was relatively happy. I started to thrive, my company took off, my dad wooed me back to his company and I’ve been kicking ass ever since while also getting a second chance to know him. This is the girl who made me realize one day that I had a new dream for my life- to be with her, and only her, for the rest of my life.

“And for years that was my dream, even when we were apart, or together but still not together. But then, not so long ago, in an inn in New Hampshire, my dream changed one more time. See, it turns out, just being with her wasn’t necessarily enough anymore, nope. Now, I want her _and_ I want our two brilliant and beautiful daughters. Yeah, they’re going to be a lot of work, a lot of heartbreak, a lot of frustration… but my life is going to be so perfect. So, Rory, will you please finally make an honest man out of me- will you please, _finally_ , marry me? Let us be a family- the Gilmore-Huntzbergers or the Huntzberger-Gilmores, I honestly don’t care either way, I just want it to happen. Please.” Silence. Then, just as he was losing hope, there was sniffling and he thought he heard footsteps coming towards him, but then they stopped and he heard nothing for a minute. A very long minute. Finally, he smirked as he came up with his final shot at getting her out there.

“Hey, Ace, you know, you can’t see the ring unless you open the door.” The doorknob clicked as she unlocked it and cracked the door open. She peeked out at him, eyes red, her face blotchy (Rory was not one of those girls that was really pretty after crying).

“You really designed a ring for me?” He smiled and nodded his head.

“I did. But you only get it if you come out here and say yes first.” She looked back at him with those beautiful Bambi eyes and he was a goner the second she spoke.

“Don’t you think I need to see the ring first? I mean, I want to know exactly what I’m saying yes to.” She batted her long lashes a few times and he groaned, although he was still smiling. He beckoned for her to come back in and moved into the kitchen and the fridge. He quickly walked to the bulk protein powder canister sat atop their stainless steel fridge, pulling it down before unscrewing the cap and reaching in, digging around until he pulled out a blue velvet box. She just looked at him, wide eyed with surprise, he raised an eyebrow back at her and smirked.

“What, I had to keep it somewhere I knew you’d never find.” He winked as he got on one knee and asked,

“Ace, you ready to jump?” She just smiled, tears in her eyes as she nodded.

“With you, Jack? Always.”


	26. It's Just A Number, Ace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm BAAAAAACK! So sorry guys, my muse TOTALLY abandoned me and I didn't know what to do with the story and then... who know, I weirdly started a wine blog (I'm studying to be a Somm) and for some reason this all started to flow! Please enjoy, I think I'm back for a while- stoked to be here!

“Did you really have to plan a black-tie gala for when I’m 7 ½ months pregnant Logan? I look like Shamu right now.” Logan, needing her help fastening his cuff links with his tuxedo shirt, came over to the mirror where she was trying to fix a rogue curl before extending his wrists for her assistance.

“Well, if that’s true, I suppose I’ve developed a sort of disturbing fetish, because I don’t think you’ve ever been more beautiful…” He pulled her in for a long kiss before pulling away just enough to add, “And you’ve definitely never been sexier.” She made a face and he kissed her forehead, enjoying the moment.

“Logan, I am very, _very_ pregnant- with twins! I haven’t seen my feet in at last six weeks, which is just as well since they’re so swollen I can only stand on them for about 15 minutes at a time- which is fine, because that’s right around the time I’ll have to go and pee yet again, hiking up this ridiculously expensive gown that I’ll most likely only ever wear one time…”

He cut her off with another kiss and a smile.

“You are beautiful, fiance-of-mine. You are gorgeous, you are glowing and I’d be lying if I told you that I didn’t have visions of us having about half a dozen kids because you’re so stunning when you’re pregnant that I can barely stand it. And, I’m already thinking of exactly what I’m going to do to you tonight after this mind numbing gala for the Foundation is over… but I can guarantee you that this dress, in which you look amazing- by the way- will most definitely not be worn ever again…”

It was the tone of his voice, more than the words he said that really made Rory feel warm all over, and very much wishing they did not have to go to this launch of the Huntzberger Center for Responsible Media and its Foundation to help fund grants and awards for ethical journalism.

“Well, it sounds like the sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave, right?” His eyes sparkled as he smiled back at her.

“See, that’s why you’re the brains of this operation.”

************************************************************

They had been at the gala for about 2 hours at this point, Mitchum had introduced Logan who then gave a pithy but moving speech about how now, more than ever, real journalism was necessary to the preservation of democracy, that ethics were more important now than ever… a speech that has been largely written by Rory- a fact that he lovingly mentioned.

“Many men talk about their muses, but they still have to do all the work of writing the words. I lucked out, rather than a muse, I am marrying a writer, a woman who is not only better, smarter and more beautiful than me, but is also the best damn speech writer I’ve ever heard… which also means if this speech doesn’t move you to donate to the Huntzberger Foundation, you’re hopelessly stingy and have absolutely no heart- for which you may or may not be publicly shamed.” That got a big laugh from the group gathered, Logan was so charming he could probably make the guards at Buckingham Palace giggle if he wanted to. “Anyways, my fiance is currently very pregnant with our twin girls, so I promised to make this an early night- but I can’t leave before having a dance with her, so I’m going to take her for a spin while the band plays our song. Just, do me a favor? She’s trying to impress my parents, her future-in-laws with her ability to support our cause, so add 20% to the donation you’re going to give my dad, Mitchum Huntzberger tonight, call it a wedding gift?” Again, everyone laughed and Rory had to smile and shake her head, knowing that request would most likely work. Then Logan was right there in front of her, asking her to dance as the opening strains of _Moon River_ played.

“Well, what do you think, you proud of your fiance?” He smiled at her with a boyish smirk.

“Hmm, I have to admit, I don’t remember writing certain elements of that speech- I feel like the speaker improvised just a little bit there, went of script just a tad…”

“I hear even Lincoln improvised a little on the Gettysburg Address.”

“Logan, I’m good, but I’m not necessarily 4 score and 7 years ago good…”

“Aw, Ace, you know that's just a number.” She could only shake her head, chuckling a bit at his terrible joke- she loved him but his comedy wasn't always great.

“Aww, Logan, you’ve been practicing your dad jokes, haven’t you?”

“Oh, believe me, our children will be so embarrassed by me, I mean, from the time they’re old enough to understand just how bad my jokes are they will be groaning in agony.”

“Oh, hon, I hate to break it to you, but trust me when I say they’re going to be _way_ more embarrassed about the fact that you’re a DILF.” That one caused an uptick of his smile on one side, and his eyes were practically dancing with mirth, excited to call her out on her parlance. 

“I’m sorry, did you just call me a DILF? Is that what I think it is?” She looked up at him, trying not to laugh out loud.

“Oh yeah- the moms will talk, older sisters, aunts… nannies…dads...  you, Logan Huntzberger, are going to be worse for our daughter's heads than Christopher Hayden.” He just hung his head, shaking it, “Hey, it’s not like it’s anything you can control- I mean, don’t get me wrong, our kids’ nanny will either be the same age as Emily Gilmore or a very, very gay man. A combo of both would actually be ideal.”

“Fair enough. Although, in the interest of gender equality and feminism and all of that, I’m also going to veto any Freddie Prinze Jr. as the Manny on Friends situations.”

“Oh, come on Logan, you know if I were to have an affair it would be with a tennis star or that hot guy on Mad Men.”

“Remind me we’re not going to Sundance anytime in the near future, ok?” They just smiled and looked like idiots, but, at least they were idiots in love- right?

“Oh, did I tell you? Grandma called this afternoon- she’s really dying for us to set a date. I told her it wouldn’t be until after Thing 1 and Thing 2 were born.”

“Ace, didn’t we decide NOT to use that moniker?”

“Ok, fine, Pulitzer and Hearst.”

“Logan!”

“Hey, if you don’t want to use in-utero names…”

“It’s not that, it’s just those names aren’t…”

“Well if you’d just let us pick the names now…”

“I told you, I don’t want to name them until we see them- we _think_ we know what the names are, but what if we see them and the names don’t work? I mean, I was going to be Susanna Rocks Gilmore… weirdly, it was the Demerol that named me after her…”

“And you’re still sure you don’t want another Lorelai?”

“We’ve been over this, I so want to name my daughter Lorelai, I always thought I would name my oldest daughter Lorelai… but 1) I cannot come up with a nickname I like, I mean, I could do Lorelai Emily or something like that, call her Emily, but it still sounds confusing. And I’m just not into the idea of naming the girl who crowns first after 3 generations of women and the one who doesn’t hit the finish line earlier gets sloppy seconds?”

“Oh wow, Ace, please never again talk about crowning or sloppy seconds in terms of my baby girls, can you promise me that?”

“Fine, I suppose…” He just smiled back, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “I’m sorry, I’m just getting more and more impatient to meet them and name them…”

“And never again sleep through the night, constantly having small gremlins attacking my breasts and no sex for 6-8 weeks- if we’re lucky?”

“Ok, I’m not necessarily _thrilled_ about every single aspect, I just have a feeling that no matter how insane and crazy and difficult and, yes, sexless, it’s going to be, it just might be the best time of my life.”

“I really want to get that on tape when we get home tonight, just to remind you at 3 AM when you have to change them…”

“Feel free, Ace. Feel free.”


End file.
